You guys are going to bust my nutsack for this, especially you hombres from vgnm. I'm kind of considering transferring schools halfway through my junior year in college mainly to be with gf. You might remember the posts filled with dysfunction and emotional bile, and the story hasn't really changed. Been in relationship 10 mo, straight in love, best friends. I neglected the past two semesters of school because of infatuation. Gpa 3.7 to 3.2 im currently only taking 9 credit hours, not working a job, piece of shit. GF moved unexpectedly to NYC to "pursue passion." Been fucked up an unable to function since. Devoted all my time this semester to phone calls and visits. But I don't see how I'll be able to perform well in school next semster taking a full load again. But I can't this relationship go. I've been seeing a counselor for about a month now and just got prescribed to Lexapro but the insurance company wont cover it so I need some other bullshit alternative. I dont like the idea of meds but I really need something to help with my obsessive thinking so I can start getting on the right track. I'vebeen up and down my whole life and this situation has thrown it out of proportion I can't get motivated academically and my resume sucks ass. I want to write in the news/mag industry, english major/journalism-philosophy minor. I used to love school, studying and reading and class anyway, but I never have gotten involved with writing really and dont have a portfolio to present for an internship. I need to get one down here, but I've been so miserable I wasted another semester moping like a bitch and didn't get anything done even though I've had so much time. Part of me wants to transfer to NYC to a potentially shittier school, but more options. However, I know deep down that if I haven't done shit here I won't do shit there. But I've felt increasingly worse here as I've always been pretty introverted at the core and let the rest of my life go when went for the girl. I've just been feeling so shitty that I've kind come to feel that moving would at least put me in a situation of feeling good enough to start getting involved, nevermind my family is poor and I would lose credits. But deep down I know its bullshit, even though any opportunity is what you make it. I just want to be with my girl so bad, and so does she as shes been just as depressed and done not shit the whole time shes been gone. I know I should stay and either just wait until i graduate and move or wait for her to move back. But i cant take this shit. When I think about just breaking it off for the best I wonder why I cant just be mature enough to keep it together just distance ourselves necessarily in the relationship. She certainly doesn't understand how to do that and obviously neither do I. I also wonder if it will fuck me up too much to get over it and do work next semester or if Ill get over it quick as long as I stay involved. I just have such a hard time staying focused, motivated, and emotionally in control. Again, I was hoping for the aide of the meds to encourage the process, but I can't seem to get in touch with the doctor yet. Tell me what the fuck is up. I've never been so attached to one person or thing. Never felt so fucked up.