SRS I'm seeing a psychiatrist wednesday

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kerberos, Mar 26, 2007.

  1. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    I had trouble sleeping tonight so I tried to imagine what I will say. Here is the result.

    I would like to start by saying that I'm anything but bipolar and I'm an emotional guy, but I consider myself very rational and never take any decisions without carefully considering every aspect and sides and rarely take strictly emotional decisions. In fact, right now I don't feel particularly sad or depressed, I just think I came to the logical conclusion that my life is not worth living. I've been considering this for the past 7 years or so, much the same as I've been considering the meaning of life and the existence of god. I've thought about these things quite extensively, considered most arguments, argumented from both sides etc. My final conclusion is as follows: there is no god, he is a fabrication of man to compensate for their insecurities, the meaning of life is to reproduce DNA, and if the tendency is maintained, life is not worth living for me. First of all, I'd like to make this clear, I'm not particularly depressed and I doubt that any sort of medication meant to alter my mood would have any effect on me. Second of all, I doubt you could convince me that my life is good, since I've considered it quite thoroughly and I've found that although some aspects of my life might be considered to be successful, I do not consider myself to be satisfying my goals that would make my life worthwhile. Perhaps your only chance of success at changing my mind is to convince me that I can achive those goals and helping me achieve them. No, I have no friends or family or any connections into this world. Yes I've been considering commiting suicide for a time now. How? Well for me such things as throwing myself from a tall building or in front of a metro is not an option since first of all I don't really want to inconvenience people. There are also the problems of being badly disfigured and not dying. It's also difficult to find a tall enough building with a suitable balcony or exit. Also, I have no firearms, so this is out of the question. I doubt I could get my hands on a firearm in Canada anyways. So I guess what's left is hanging myself or overdosing on some drug. I'll have to research the drugs, since this seems like the best way to go.


    Now what are those goals that are important to me? I think that being able to achieve anyone of the following would satisfy me.


    Some free time to rest from my hectic, sick schedule. I'm totally burnt out and I need a break. I'd like to try a sport or some other physical activity.


    or


    Having a girlfriend. She doesn't really have to love me or anything. Even a convenience relationship would be good with me. Hell I'd even take a really fat chick if she had a decent personality. I just need some physical contact.




    P.S.: actually identifying my goals has made me feel better. Good night
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2007
  2. Scootin

    Scootin OT Supporter

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    Life is worth living, and your belief in no afterlife should only make it more worthwhile. If you don't have life, you have nothing. In my opinion, living in pain is better than nothing. Few people (myself included) can truly grasp the concept of nothing. Why not at least give yourself a chance? It's a cliche, but once you hit the bottom, there's no place to go but up!
     
  3. Scootin

    Scootin OT Supporter

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    Shut the fuck up. Now.
     
  4. Tan + Blue

    Tan + Blue back up in your ass with the resurrection

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    talking/typing it out usually does help for me too.
     

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