SRS I'm relapsing...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Guz200sx, Mar 1, 2006.

  1. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I'm beginning to have strong desires of my addiction....The desires have been on and off but they are growing stronger and stronger. They may be at an all time high right now and its really driving me crazy. I've been in contact with the cause of my addiction which I know is wrong (this is where the desires comes in) but I couldn't resist and now i'm fearing I may bend and throw myself back into the pit.

    I need help.
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    What addiction are we talking? Drugs? Alcohol? Cutting?
     
  3. Digital_angel

    Digital_angel New Member

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    just hang in there, it may seem like its something that you want to do but later on youll realize your shouldnt have done it. maybe cut off contact with the cause of your addiction
     
  4. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Sex.



    I've tried that before....I even deleted everyway I could contact her. But it still came back to me and I still found my way back to her.

    You see the cause of my addiction is a girl but she's an escort. I meet her a couple of yrs ago...I've developed feelings for her. So she's always in the back of my mind. I deleted her homepage but in my head, I still had it. I deleted her email address but I still found a way to get it back. For the past two years, I've gone to see her on my birthday, sort of as a gift to myself, and now my birthday is coming up again....and the feeling...the need...to see her again is there. I've made contact in the past days and of course she's happy to see me. In the back of my mind and in my heart, I KNOW I can't do this but ... I don't know If I can resist.

    This whole thing has hurt me finanically so this is why its something I need to stop because I don't want to be hurting financially. I want to better myself in this area but right now I'm feeling like I'm going to give into the whole situation.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2006
  5. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Okay.. You probably don't have a chance with her. Unless you pull a hollywood "I'm gonna take you away from all of this" (ala The Machinist, Pretty Woman?). Probably won't work though. Once you realize to yourself your feelings for her won't bud into a relationship, it's time to start moving on. You need to start by deleting everything related to her out of your life. Then, it's time to find a woman who will love you back. The key will be finding another girl who's gonna make you completly forget about the first one. Good luck :hs:

    A side thing you could do is.. think of something nice you wanna buy.. k got it? Now everytime you wanna go looking for her email again etc, think about the money you'll be losing when you can get that thing you really want.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    If you really love her, why don't you ask her out on a 'relationship' basis?

    I heard other cases of where the the escort and the guy fell in love with eachother and married :dunno: , its far fetched but why not? An escort can have a relationship in the sense of a gf/bf too. It sure as hell would save you money if you'd be with her on a normal basis, that is if you are open enough to accept her for the escort job that she has.
     
  7. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I tried this a while back....Once by email and then in person. In person, she told me was going to be real busy in the comin months and that maybe if she had some free time, she could do it. But when I told her that I had feelings for her, she kind of gave me the "awww" look...maybe she felt sorry for me or thought I was pathetic or something but after I asked she was also like "thats so sweet..."
    I never got her feelings or thoughts on this though....Which makes me wonder.

    I dunno....She seems great in the emails and I get that warm feeling of happiness or something. But then I wonder....Why am I puttin myself through this? I have doubts she has the same feelings as me because well...this (escort) is part of what she does. But then I have a strong feeling that maybe we could be something together because she is doing something else outside of this to better herself so escorting IS NOT her life.



    Thanks, this is good advice.

    Actually, what I did was I went back and looked at one of my savings account that had about $1900 in it in May/June 2005 and today it has $24 and some cents left.

    I was Basically disgusted with myself. I asked myself... How could I let myself lose so much?
     
  8. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    On a sidenote...I am taking what Darketernal said into account.....I am thinking maybe if I try one more time on the phone (or maybe in person).....maybe If I bare my soul and tell her everything I feel for her and everything that has happened to me because of this and see what she says then maybe.....just maybe something will happen.
     
  9. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    An escort is an actress. You pay for her performance. She likes that you pay for her performance.

    She sounds like a very good actress. An acting style that you like.

    She is a real person - in her real life. To you, she is a paid escort doing a very good acting job. To her, you are her customer. A good steady customer.

    Until or unless no money changes hands, you are her customer. And that's all.

    The above is fact.

    My suggestion is that you try to find the qualities you like about her (as she is acting anytime you see her or are in contact with her) in a real life girl.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2006
  10. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    No.

    To her, it's not about you.

    To her, it's about her.

    You could thank her, sincerely, for showing you what you want in real life. And then, go look for that in real life.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2006
  11. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    You are right.

    I realize she is just playing a part....but somewhere in my head, I guess, I wished it could be true.

    I have to realize its not true and can never be true.

    And Basically...my attraction to her is just all physical really. I love her style and figure.
     
  12. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I realize she is just playing a part....but somewhere in my head, I guess, I wished it could be true.

    I have to realize its not true and can never be true.

    And Basically...my attraction to her is just all physical really. I love her style and figure.


    Chalk it up to a lesson learned the hard way. I do not think she cares for you other than what you pay her to care about. This is not a relationship. This is not love. Find someone out there who cares. If in fact, you are a "sex" addict, then see a therapist.

    Me thinks you are lookin' for love in all the wrong places.
     

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