i'm pregnant and my SO is hyper-sexual...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by thevirginlauren, Jan 21, 2009.

  1. thevirginlauren

    thevirginlauren New Member

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    So, here is our history, we met online, fell in love, i accidentally got pregnant but we are both over-joyed. we are both highly sexual beings. and before we got pregnant we would do it about 3 times a day (maybe 4 if we had the time).

    so now... i am in my first trimester, and this month is the worst. I have back pain that is killing me, and i literally get sick to my stomach. i tell him all this and he has read as much as possible about the pregnancy, he knows about the morning sickness and back pain. It is also real REAL hard for me to fall asleep and to stay asleep.

    So, my man is hightly sexual. I used to be but pain makes that take a back seat. but it is like clock-work. At 2am... 2AM he will wake up and be highly arroused. He will wake me up and want me to 'play'. I tell him No and try to go back to sleep. No doesn't work on him. he will do it anyway, but all in all i used to love that but not now. I try to explain this to him but i just don't think he is getting it. I can hold it together, get threw the pain and let him has his fun for the next month or so.

    What i am really worried about is when our baby gets here. I will be exhausted and just focused on taking care of the baby. What will happen then. My biggest fear is that he will find someone else to 'play' with while i am out of commission for a minimum of 3-4 weeks.

    what do ya'll think about all of this? I know my man loves me to death and would never think about cheating on me.. but when there is an itch, you need to scratch it.
     
  2. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

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    my gf is 9 months + 4 days pregnant. our situation was the exact opposite. she was always horny and my libido died.
     
  3. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i'm a big believer in "that's what you expect, so that's what will happen" just like girls getting fat during pregnancy. self fulfilling bs.


    good luck, you seemed resigned to fate already.
     
  4. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Communication, talk to him about it openly.
     
  5. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    If a man cheats on his wife while she is pregnant, he would have done it anyway. Not getting sex while your woman is creating your baby is the lowest of lows. Yes men have needs, so do all human beings but I am sure it won't kill him to use his hand or a while. Your libido usually comes back - hehe usually
     
  6. fray

    fray New Member

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    The "I say no because I'm in pain, but he does it anyway" part is disturbing to me. Sounds like a great guy.
     
  7. thevirginlauren

    thevirginlauren New Member

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    well, he is a great guy. I know that my sex drive will come back in a month or two, but then it will disappear again right after the baby arrives. i will be awake for hours with no sleep and i will not be able to have any access per doctors orders.
    i have tried to talk to him about having to use his hand. i know i have spoiled him in a few ways and he just can't use his hand anymore, it doesn't produce the results he needs. in times of desperation the hand can work. but that is when i'm not around, when our baby arrives i will be home 99% of the time for atleast 5-6 months. so, what will happen then.
    i know i need to talk to him openly and i have. he says that he will just have to use his hand or if i am not to exhausted to maybe give him head.
    some have said if he becomes unfaithful in the future he was going to do it anyway (no matter my physical 'disablities')... I appreciate all your feedback, has anyone else been in this situation????
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    sounds like you have some attitude issues...you sound convinced the baby will be the end of your sex life (after the baby is born).

    Second, I'm also disturbed by the "he does it anyway" comment. So he basically rapes you because you won't willingly give him what he wants?
     
  9. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Maybe.... Just try having sex... Having an orgasm does wonders for pain. And from what I have heard, having sex is good during the pregnancy.

    And even when you have the baby, you need to still have the alone time with the two of you. If you completely shut him out, your marriage will start to die.
     
  10. Etherized

    Etherized Active Member

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    If he wants sex and if he cares, he needs to help you out with the baby so you won't be so exhausted. Also it is common that morning sickness subsides greatly after the first trimester for many women.
     
  11. HTownGirl

    HTownGirl New Member

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    This happened to me. I could have written your post :wtc: Our baby was almost a year old and my husband cheated on me. I still don't feel the same about him as I did before. I try to fake it but the betrayal was so big. I am trying to decide whether to stay with him for the kids or just let him go. I keep seeing him with her and I remember the lies. I hope your story turns out differently.
     
  12. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    You still need sex to keep the relationship healthy.
     
  13. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    This.

    Sex during pregnancy is a big thing.
     
  14. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    you both need to compromise in this situation. he needs to understand that you physically dont feel well enough to do it 3 times a day anymore, but you need to understand that he still needs it. if you have trouble sleeping and falling back to sleep, ask him to not wake you up in the middle of the night for that right now. make sure you take care of those things before bedtime. he should be considerate of the situation as well.

    once the baby is here, he should be helping you take care of thngs so you shouldnt be the only one exhausted. you both will be in the same boat. but its still important to make sure sex is a regular part of your lives. you may not be able to do date nights in the first few months you have the baby, but you can spend some time having sex together
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  16. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    People are different, and so are the situations they find themselves in.
    I think you truly need to tell him how you feel, usually we THINK we have let our significant other know what we are feeling, meanwhile we haven't.

    Telling him a simple 'no' or 'it hurts' sometimes won't do it. You need to take the time to explain to him that you want him, but you need him to understand and be patient with you because you are in pain right now.
     
  17. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Honestly like some others have said, you sound like you're programming and hypnotizing yourself into failure. Why would you tell yourself that your sex drive will die again?

    Instead why don't you be positive (thats what keeps a healthy sex-drive) and tell him that you need his help with the baby.

    Baby or no baby, you two need to continue to build a healthy bond and help each other by being genuine.

    Your sex drive will be fine as long as you do this.

    By that same token, this man needs to fucking back off for a bit. Sounds like he was spoiled earlier. You have to be careful spoiling people, they come to expect certain things... Have a heart to heart.
     
  18. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    .

    Was going to post this. Buy him one and let him go to town on it when you aren't feeling well enough for sex. You could even use it on him.
     
  19. thevirginlauren

    thevirginlauren New Member

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    Well the fleshlight is a great idea. i didn't know about it until now. and i will have to just sit down with him and tell him my worries and my problems and see where it goes from there.
     
  20. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :ugh: :rolleyes: :mad: :squint:

    he sounds like a quality man. he's already being selfish! i can't wait to see his behavior when he realizes that the baby is number one, not him NOR you.
     
  21. UnaBomber

    UnaBomber Closed-minded pig-headed racist xenophobe OT Supporter

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    jerk him off every now and then.

    oh and keep an eye out for the name change forum to reopen :mamoru:
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ugh, this thread just makes me too sick to respond.
     
  23. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Sometimes it causes physical pain to have sex during pregnancy and other times it is great. Forcing yourself to have sex is not something I would suggest. Nothing worse than going through the motions AND being pregnant
     
  24. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    why?

    Please respond for abomb :naughty:
     
  25. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    She didn't say it hurt to have sex, she said her back just hurts. She can still have sex, people that have physical issues have sex all the time, you just need to find a position that is comfortable to you.

    AND...... many people in long relationships stop having sex, they don't feel like they need and/or want to, and after stopping having sex for awhile, you don't feel the need to have it. One of the big ways to help bring that back is just to have sex, plan for it, even if you don't necessarily want to at that exact moment. I know theres books on the subject, having sex once a day for 30 days and stuff like that.


    Have you even tried to have sex, or have you just been turning him down?
     

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