SRS I'm power-drunk and going to rant about my failures with women in this thread

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Mar 12, 2008.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    its sad and frightening to realize men (and probably women too) exist who look great, are professionally successful, good personalities, and never can get a women in their lives. No matter what strategy they take, no matter who's advice they heed, it continues to not work out. I'm this guy.

    I've been laid countless times over the past decade, but I haven't had a woman say she wanted me around since August, 2000. For almost 8 fucking years I've had no one say they cared about me, no one to open up to, no one to know that I don't have to play a game just so I know they'll be around next weekend, and no one who loved me. I don't remember what its like to act normal, and know they'll be there again and again. that's all I want. I want someone to laugh with, play with, and someone that isn't using me as a place-holder until something better comes around. I'm tired of going into everything with a plan, but what scares me is when I don't go in with a plan. When I act normal, and it doesn't last.

    It hit me today. I went 2 years caring about lap times at the racetrack and other bullshit that I had complete control over, where there were no relationships involved because I had complete of the outcome with non-human objects. I just met a really cool woman, opened up and it went away. It didn't really say anything, it just blew me off. Its like when you have a job that means absolutely nothing and you don't tell them you quit, you just quit going. She just walked off, didn't say a word, because it didn't mean enough to say goodbye.





    at least she left her wine over here...lol.
     
  2. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    you guy's don't have to reply, just think about your friends who may have lives like mine, live alone, and shit like that. There's nothing anyone can say or do that will make it better. I either have to learn what I'm doing with women, or learn to accept the reality of solitude.
     
  3. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Get back to racing bro :)

    I'm serious... Now that I don't have my car on the road I long to the days that I can get her running. I'm actually more excited for that then going out looking for some girl.

    I think back. I was so happy when I was in elementary school, in high school. I used to do what I loved. I used to draw non-stop. I opened up my drawer yesterday and had stacks upon stacks of drawings I did from when I was 5 through high school.

    It then hit me. What happend to me? Did I forget how to have fun? Did I forget how to laugh and how to feel great? There was no internet or computers back then. It was just me, cars, and paper...Then high school came along. I met so many great people. And I finally got my licence. I got a car that I thought was the best thing ever and spent my money on that. In the end I felt happy and rewarded when I drove it. I would rather not do anything else but drive it.

    I hit a low part when I was finishing up my degree recently. I stopped drawing and stopped thinking about cars. I was unemployed and couldn't spend money on my car. I felt miserable. But whenever I think of my car, a job and graduation I can't help but smile. I want to get my motorcycle license, start tracking the car, and painting... Enjoying life like I did when I was 5, 10, and 16.

    Maybe at 30, I'll be like you, maybe not. But I know one thing: When I am preoccupied with myself, I am happy as hell. No woman can change that.




    BTW, I never was in a relationship or got laid..just wanted to point it out.
     
  4. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Maybe we are both destined to be masters of non-human objects? :dunno:

    You never know...What we may lack in one area we'd make up in another.
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I still have that hole inside of me though, but I don't know what to do about it.

    On a brighter note, now I guess I can shift my focus to getting the 1.9l motor put together and try not to wreck a 300whp, 2040lb miata while chasing down 430 scuderias at MSR. I guess I'll shift my love back to the track, although I'd love to share that with someone too.
     
  6. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    I haven't had a date in 2 or 3 years.. it's really starting to depress me now :wtc:
     
  7. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    read the game, but don't read the last section of the book. Use the tools the PUA's use, but don't discount your personality, or you'll never be able to relax and enjoy it.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The conclusion is that your personality is not that great,

    Now normally saying something like that would be very insulting, but here in the asylum that's not what im steering towards , i mean think about it. What if you yourself all this time were thinking that you had such a great and wonderfull personality , while on the other edge of the fence in reality woman wouldn't agree with that at all. They wouldn't like you for xxx reasons, you might have money and everything materialistically worked out so they give it a try, but as soon as they notice that you cannot satisfy them on the emotional surface they leave you. I mean that is what's happening right?

    Black Jesus, from what i have seen from your posts is that i get the feeling that you live a wild and erratic life. Woman seek emotional stability and satisfaction in their life, a woman wants you to be there for her. Actually woman want to be together with someone forever from what i have seen, that's emotionally the most important thing for them.

    Instead of going with woman who are just out for your cash and fake personality, i suggest you drop the power act, and the woman who are attracted to that , because reality is that you don't have any power over a woman at all, the situation is controlling you rather then vice versa.

    Now it might sound radical , but honestly go volenteer. Help people out, and you will see how these bonds of love and care , are the bonds that are missing in your life. Even if it doesn't give you a woman it will give you new friends and new insight in life.
     
  9. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    I came here to post the same thing. I am NOT professionally successful and I am average looking, yet I don't have your problem, never had. There is something about personality that makes it impossible to happen.
     
  10. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I avoid women who are after anything aside from a relationship. I am not proud of my shitty salary or the stuff I own. I have 8 and 18 year old cars, nothing really expensive in general. I'm proud of my job because I'm a public servant, not because of the salary which is nothing notable.

    I think I'm going to volunteer to do something a couple days per week. I lift 4 days per week, and the nights I don't lift, I'm pretty fucking miserable.
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    The bigger picture matters. Stay in the game long enough and it will more than likely work out. It would be irrational and illogical to claim all those things you've said and believe it "hasn't worked out." You've had experiences, you're still in the process. That's not failure.

    And this is ultimately the root issue. You're looking for someone else to validate that your worth being loved, so it's no wonder you're unhappy. You can't love anyone without loving yourself, that cliche is truth, and you can't begin loving yourself just because someone does finally come along and starts loving you. You'll inevitably sabotage it by trying to figure out how long you can keep their love, you'll try to contain it, hold onto it, and of course the result will be losing it.

    Love yourself by working through whatever issues are preventing that, and you'll find all this other stuff you've said is nothing but babbling.

    It's like this for everyone, the only difference is you think it's only happening to you and thus feel you're a freak or abnormal or undeserving. Obviously all untrue. You're not worth more or less than any of us, and there is someone out there who will appreciate the simplicity in that.

    You really don't know the reasons she left, but how quick you are to assume it's because of you. That's the ego at work, assuming it's always the center stage. Perhaps the world goes on and she has other reasons. That's too reasonable though, so it's quick to be ignored.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I miss the black jesus from a month ago.

    You say you only want a woman who wants an actual relationship, yet a few weeks ago you started telling yourself to stay away from the new girl you were digging because your newfound confidence was scoring you easy girls from the bar.

    Figure out what you want. Stop focusing on women to = happiness.
     
  13. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Last month I knew I wanted a relationship with that girl, but I feared this outcome (luckily it came quickly) and tried to talk myself out of it a few times. I knew what I wanted all along though event though it wasn't a smart move. When relationship opportunities only come once per decade (literally) I put a lot of thought into them. I scares me to think that if the pattern continues, which there is no reason for it not to, then I can expect another woman to be interested in me in the year 2016, I'll be 35.

    It feels like everything is going wonderfully in my life aside from women. It might also help if I knew what normal relationships looked like. I don't want to blame anything on my parents, but my mother and father were married 6 times each, and they're both still fucking nuts and treat their spouses like shit. I assume their behavior is what i perceive as "normal" and that's a bird nest I won't even begin to discuss here.

    I still with the ideas of a social-hierarchy, and I still perceive myself as the peasant, and women as the authoritarian dictators.




    I know I babble, whine, and cry like a bitch here, but I have no one else to talk to this stuff about, so I inadvertently exploit everyone's patience and concern. Thank you very much for listening and putting up with my shit.
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Women do = happiness :rolleyes:
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    There's a difference between women having the ability to make you happy....and needing a woman to have you feel happiness.
     
  16. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    I agree with that... :o
     
  17. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Ready for counseling yet?
     
  18. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    its not an option considering my travel schedule.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    What kind of excuse it that? You can see him/her every time you are in town.
     
  20. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    sometimes I'm out of town for 6 months. Regardless, I've emailed a few places to find one I can afford.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    That's your judgment. IMO sex and love is as important as water and air.
     

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