SRS I'm not here to complain but here to explain why I'm so lonely.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by CookieMonster, Mar 30, 2006.

  1. CookieMonster

    CookieMonster OT Supporter

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    I have grown up as a child very spoiled. My mother divorced my farther when I was at the age of 5. My mother has been through many guys and I look down at that. I don;t really like it but I can't control her. I have seen her go through thick and thin. She is always a happy person though. Something I wish I could be again. When my farther moved he met a young women when I was 8. She was very mean and bitchy. I was pretty much no longer spoilded. They were together for 3 years and they got married. To get back to my mother over time she has moved to many different places in the same area. Well getting back to my dad and his new wife that wanted kids. Him and his new wife moved out the townthat I grew up in. We moved to this borning town called Slidell. At this time I was the age of 13 and didn't have that many friends growing up eithere. About a year later she had her baby girl. Which I love dearly. That wasn't enough for her. So her and my dad had another kid.A baby boy that I love dearly and love to teach him new things. But he is a little bitch. Other then the little girl she is a very risk taking girl. Well to get back to things about my mom. She moved to Slidell and met this guy while she was in New Orleans. I didn't care for him much as the other guys she dated eithere. Well she moved to Slidell with him and I lived with my dad an his wife, soon to be ex-wife. He lost his house and lost his boat. She fights him in court all the time trying to suck as much money as she can. Even though he still is trying to make things of the best of it. He moved to an apartment. I went with my mom because I hate living in small places with other people. Well my mom got tired of her b/f and moved out to this small place behind this guys house that rents to her. He is a very nice person and treats us kindly. Well to get back to my dad he moved out the apartment and got another house. By all this time I was 18 in Junior year of High School working at McDonalds because I had nothing better to do. I had many friends but they were real assholes to me at the time. Stole stuff from me and just be straight up dicks. At the age 16 I started smoking pot and they were the ones to rip me off all the time. Well getting back to the age 18 I quit McDonalds before the beginning of Senior year. My dad buys me a Car that I had payed for half already. I don't have very many bills to pay. Well in Senior year I wanted to make money to do things. So I started selling pot. Started making alot of money and alot of friends. When I was 19 I dated a few girls that were nice but very fucked up in the head. (bi-polar) Well pretty much every girl I have dated the dating ended every 2 weeks. I have yet to date another girl and I'm 20. I did smoke pot constantly and sold it constantly to have friends. Well a to get what to I'm saying is that. Since I got caught smoking on my way home from college the cop found a gram of kindbud(potant weed) and my pipe that I was using. He arrested me and took me to jail. I sat there for 8hours over a plant matter that was no bigger the the US quarter. I got a 1500$ fine for simple poession and parphnaila. Well I had to quit smoking and at the time II was talking to a girl and she made a date the day I quit smoking. So I sat home all day thinking shes gonna call me and I'm gonna have a good time. Well nothing happens and she hasn't spoken to me since then. By the way I'm not ugly I've had a few girls tell me that I'm cute. Ever since then I have become and ignorant asshole and I don't like the person I am. Not only that I'm very loenly and want to go out and do stuff. Ever since I got caught I have no friends because I can't supply them with pot. No one calls me or wants to go out and do stuff. Since that day I quit smoking I have just sat at home complaing and whineing on Ot and being bitched at by OTers which I can understand. I try to be the nicest person I can to all the comments they leave for me to reply. But I have to rely on pot to make me a happy,nice, and calm person. It is really hard for me to meet girls. Yes I go to College and I work at a Cafe. bgut 90% of the women that come are with there family or b/f. As I walk around and bus the tables seeing these happy people eat there food. I think to myself. Why I can't be like that, Why can't I have happy and enjoyable life. It is just really hard for me to go out by myself and go look for girls. There is no where to go around here to really have any fun. They have a few bars but I don't because it makes me sick. I just want to find a decent girl that wnats to gout and have fun. I'm tired of repeating day after day. Coming home from school or waking up and staying home all day or go to work in the afternoon. I want to go out and do stuff. I have money to spend but no one to spend it with.

    Please do not leave any fucked up relpies because that will just make me more of an asshole that I don't want to be. the person I am now is there person I've always not wanted to be.Thank you for reading. Have a great day and hope you can help me out.
     
  2. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    man dude....

    let me get my thoughts together. ....
     
  3. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    As you know , I don't have a problem with marijuana, people that smoke it, and people that sell it but I do have this to say. You have to be really careful who you consider a friend and who you don't consider a friend. Some people are social and have a magnetic personality. Thus, they end up with many different people to associate with. While some social people are genuinely nice folks to be around, others try to impress other people or draw them to them with things such as money. In your case, it is or was pot.

    To meet quality people, you have to not take shit from people and let them know where you stand. You have to go out and put yourself out there. I know that is easier said than done when you live in a place where there isn't much to do and you see the same people at the same places, but just go out every now and again to check out what's going on. A regular at a place you see can end up being someone even more familiar. You have to make yourself approachable.

    I'm not going to lie. Not everyone you try to initiate something with is going to be receptive or even friendly, but that is what it takes to get to know people. You also have to have confidence. Your attitude about yourself can and will be picked up by people, which in and of itself can be a turn off. Sitting at home and complaining is not going to get you around people, unless you're into meeting random girls off myspace like a lot of OT .

    Speaking of meeting girls, one thing someone told me that has stuck is that if we keep starting relationships with people that have the same or a similar issue crop up, then this might be saying more about you than the other person. It takes time to sort through the mediocre and find people that are going to be real with you (for friendships and relationships). It all goes back to not putting up with bullshit and respecting yourself.

    I would cut myself off from those people who don't come around anymore that you don't sell marijuana. They aren't worth your time and will only continue to frustrate you. Those arent' the kind of people you want around you anyway cause people like that are a waste of time AND those are some of the people that can stab you in the back. A true friend is gonna be around you whether you have pot or not. I had to deal with a guy that was demanding and who didn't want to put anything into our relationship. I kicked him to the curb fast and he came back being nice, but that didn't last long. When he started to not get his way or I didn't help him out in some way, he was an asshole

    You sound like a decent guy who wants to do better for himself so that doesn't make you ignorant. If you are wanting to not be the person you are, then try not to get pissed off at yourself. Keep yourself busy. Keep your mind busy and break off from people who aren't going to be there for you as friends.
     
  4. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    Keep in mind that you are seeing people gathered together in PUBLIC. What goes on behind PRIVATE DOORS and AWAY from the restaurant is often a completely different story. I don't knowif you can be happy happy, but you CAN make the effort to enjoy life. You are not the only person going through stuff. the very same people you think are happy and content have problems too bro ;) :)

    One more thing about the relationships. You have seen different models for relationships from your parents. I have a feeling that might be affecting how you relate to women or how you handle yourself in relationships, in additin to other things. Take your experiences with women and people in general and take something that you can learn and apply it,.

    If you have to rely on pot to be nice, calm, and happy then you may need to take a ste[p back from smoking OR find what can ALSO make you calm. Drive. Exercise to release stress. Masturbate. Invest in some breathing exercises or meditation. Go running. Volunteer. These are just a few things you can do to find out what brings you some enjoyment in life. I know how it is to get up and do the same thing every day , with no end in sight. Last year I was working a full time job and going to school full time. I was out of touch with a lot of people and I didnt have time to breathe, much less enjoy myself. You have to order your priorities and take some risks.

    If you ever wanna talk, I got my messenger information up if you are on messenger. or I'm on myspace. and I'm on here a lot cause I dont work and am in school and lazy lol. well, I'm trying to get a job but that isn't giving me results. I stress out sometimes and what I do is go out to hear music. I call up adn talk to those one or two people i've always been able to rely on. I smoke pot too (well , not as often recently but ya know)

    Keep your head up yo.
     
  5. CookieMonster

    CookieMonster OT Supporter

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    Thank you :bowdown: I will try the things you said. :hug:
     
  6. Johnny Sack

    Johnny Sack Penis?

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    I like you :wavey:

    But man...what a bum sitation. I'm lucky to have be able to sort out the legit friends from the fakes. I guess all I can say is hold on :hs:
     
  7. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    This is what got me. You do NOT have to RELY on pot to make you a happy, nice, calm person. If anything, you're using it to take you away from the real issues in your life.

    You need to stop the pot and reassess your life, and your goals. Forget the past. You can't change it. You need to focus on the future.

    Your whole life seemed to revolve around pot, and you've never given yourself the opportunity to have REAL friends. So get out there and start doing things that you've always wanted to do. You will meet people with similar interests.
     
  8. uptown josh

    uptown josh Active Member

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    You got busted In St. Tammany Parish? I'm currently on probation for marijuana in St. Tammany right now.... I'm living in Picayune.
     
  9. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    If you just want to talk to someone my info is in my profile. :hug:
     

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