I'm not attractive :noes:

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Skeletor, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    Personally I think I'm an ok-looking dude... but girls NEVER like me. If I'm at a party or meet somebody new I never get girls to hang on me and I never end up hooking up with anybody (not even fat or ugly chicks).


    The thing is, when I was 12-16 I was actually the best looking dude in my group, and I always pulled chicks at parties and bonfires... even going to the movie theater would lead to sometimes even 5 instances of getting hit on by hot girls, often times even when they were older than me... Then when I turned 15-16 my nose started getting bigger and other aspects of my facial structure just started changing and I got ugly (eyebrows got thicker, hairline receeded a little, face got more deepset).


    Because of my past, I have a huge confidence level and great self-esteem... I don't even think about how I look when I'm at parties, and I talk to everyone and am friendly.... I even experiment... I'll be the bad boy sometimes, other times I'll try being quiet and reserved, other times I'll just be myself which = life of the party and in the moment... and sometimes I'll center myself around a girl who I'm interested in, other times I'll ignore them, other times I'll just be casually interested.


    The thing is, even though I feel like I've mastered the art of socializing, girls simply never get past my looks, and never think of me in a sexual way...


    I don't really have any questions to ask... I'm just saying this because it's pretty damn frustrating... like I said, I personally look in the mirror and see a fairly attractive guy, and I honestly have real confidence in myself... but I've tested and tried so many times with just about every different behavior/attitude and each time I come up with nothing to show for it, not even ugly girls or fatties. It sucks ass because if I looked better I would pull major ass.


    Anyways, just a rant. It's of course possible that I have a distorted view of reality and I really am not the best at socializing, but fuck that, I don't buy it. I'd post a pic but I deleted my myspace and don't have a camera available.
     
  2. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    no the problem is you're a mother fucking whiney bitch with limiting beliefs and no desire to improve yourself. You pity yourself and come here to get pity. And there's a difference between being social and beng sexual. Friendly nice guys don't get laid. You clearly do not know what causes sexual attraction. So Open your eyes and notice all the ugly ass dudes who get with hot girls. Figure out what they're doing that you're not. And then copy it.

    unless you're going for girls who are uglier than you, looks do not matter. Period.

    If you're going for girls who are uglier than you, then as long as you're clearly more attractive than they are, how much game/money/whatever you have isn't that important, as long as you're not a total chode.

    If you're going for girls who are hotter than you, it really doesn't matter much at all how physically attractive you are (assuming you're clean and don't look like you haven't showered in months). The only way to get a girl that's more attractive than you is game/money/whatever, BUT NOT LOOKS; you can't get a girl who is hotter than you through only your looks (if shes hotter than you anyway, why would she care how goodlooking you are)

    So, improving your looks isn't that important if you're going for HOT girls. It's overrated.

    Now stop being a whiney pathetic little bitch, sack up, start lifting weights, turn yourself into the best possible person you can become, and go pound some pussy
     
  3. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    I already lift, I'm gaining weight and getting less skinnyfat...


    I dress real nice, and I'm not a whiney bitch, but good shit for the perspective.


    and like I said, I'm not the "nice guy" who gets walked on and over looked... I can't be the nice guy even if I try.
     
  4. MagicGAT

    MagicGAT New Member

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    little things help,

    Get a girl to pick out your clothes, go tanning (slight :mamoru: ), if your eyebrows are bad...fix them

    Also you need to give off the message that you have a fascinating and exciting life outside of women and getting women.
     
  5. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    Then you simply don't know what actually causes attraction in girls. Go find out what guys are doing and copy them
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Yes. Develop an entire new personality, change who you are (who you like) so that you might get laid. :rolleyes:

    to the OP: are you approaching women? What kind of people do you hang out with? What kind of parties? How old are you etc?
     
  7. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

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    work on your game.
     
  8. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    are you female? or are you juts a man with a vagina?

    Being a loser who's shy and afraid of teasing girls and afraid of social interaction, and the myriad other bad habits that people who don't get girls develop, is not someone's real persoanlity. It's something they develop because they take on a low value identity at a younger age because it's EASIER, because people FUCK WITH YOU less. 99% of guys are NOT being their real selves when talking to girls, they are NOT putting their real personality on the line. They are just acting under the social conditioning that has been forced down their throats since they were kids, telling them you have to do X Y and Z to get a girl because girls are goddesses to be fawned over until you chase them so hard that they relent from exhaustion under your pressure.

    So, do NOT fucking push this dumbass bullshit about "being your real self" and "not changing your personality." Guys who don't get laid generally AREN'T being their real self, they're just reacting to everything else around them trying to say the perfect thing to get in this goddesses' pants, buying her drinks, or buying a new sweet car and bragging about it, because that's what society has fed down their throat as the way to get girls. That's not your real personality, that's something you do that's not a part of who you are deep down, something you do ARTIFICIALLY to get some sort of expected response. If someone is truly being themself at all times, if they truly do not give a fuck what other people think and are comfortable with themselves, they do NOT have depressed nights thinking about how they don't get laid. Most people are NOT being their real selves, EVER, except for those few minutes at night when they take their shoes off and get into bed and start introspecting. Most people constantly live in reaction to what people expect from them and try to fit that mold, because it's EASIER, it's EASIER to fit into a certain role that other people give you, because if you try to break out of it, people FUCK WITH YOU. So none of this bullshit about not changing, PLEASE, because what you see isn't what he really is.

    You should be changing every single day, it's called self improvement. And most importantly, and I think this might be tony robbins or something, but if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. So... CHANGE. You don't have to change who you are deep down, your interests, your values... but you have to get rid of giving a fuck what other people think of you, you have to not be afraid to take on a position of dominance and high value in social interaction. This kind of post strikes a nerve in me so deep because it is the very essence of socially conditioned bullshit, where "some guys have it, some guys don't... just be who you are and accept it and accept what you get." NO, man, be THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE. and YOU WILL FUCKING GET IT.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2007
  9. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    :werd: I do have bushy eyebrows and I've always got rid of the uni, but now I'm starting to shape (very slightly) the rest of them... still big but not bushy and messy.



    ANd i'm a pale bastard... but I'm not really down with tanning booth shit... I guess I'll start getting more sun.
     
  10. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest


    i see where you're coming from, but like I said, I'm often the life of the party and hell yeah i tease girls and approach them and all of that. That is why this is all so frustrating, because I feel like I have the personality/confidence down, it's just my looks that prevent me from any chicks thinking of me that way.
     
  11. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    no, it's not your looks. If you're not getting laid, you're making tactical mistakes. You're either not escalating your physical contact from casual social contact to sexual, or you're not letting the girl understand that you are a sexual being, or you're not isolating her, or you're not extracting her. the onus is on YOU. It is NOT your looks, you are using them as an excuse. Go watch other guys and see what they do that you're not doing. Or post a field report
     
  12. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    also great things to say... but like I said in the original post, I don't even THINK about my looks when I'm at parties... it doesn't even cross my mind, I just be myself (except when I'm experimenting like I said... which I haven't done in a while) which is outgoing and talking to everybody, sometimes if there's a girl I like I'll focus my time a little more on her etc.

    But I don't even think about it honestly... the only time it comes up is the day after the party when I hear that none of the girls were feeling me at all.


    It's probably just a game issue.
     
  13. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    word, the more i think about it and analyze my behavior, the more correct your thoughts become in my mind.


    I have no game :o
     
  14. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    don't worry about it dude, most people don't (mine isn't very good either, but it's getting better). It's just a skill, like anything else. First you gotta find out how to do it, and then you have to practice it. It's not a reflection on who you are deep down, it can be learned, it can be changed.
     
  15. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    oh yeah I see that... just sucks because I could have started developing it so long ago if I had the right state of mind.


    I guess I know what to focus on at the next party :bigthumb:
     
  16. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    a. Yes, I am a woman.
    b. He said he is not shy, he is not afraid of social interactions, hes actually very good at them. His "real self" is fantastic socially.
    c. You are not suggesting he change himself, for himself, for the better, you are suggesting that he copy off of other people. (Ie do X Y and Z to get a girl, exactly what you are saying not to do.)
    By all fucking means, if you are unhappy with who you are, evaluate what aspects make you unhappy, and work on them. Imitating others does not change who you are, it is admitting that you do not have the balls to change yourself, to be an independent person.
    d. You bitch about people who live their entire lives trying to 'fit a mold' Im not sure how thats any different from what you are advocating.

    I would never, ever, say 'some guys have it, some don't. Im not sure how you got that out of what I actually said.

    Copying off of someone just to fuck some chick is the form of insecurity and dependence I cna think of.
     
  17. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    What attracts girls is dominance, not-giving-a-fuck, tolerance to social pressure, social skills, playfulness, taking responsibility for escalation in every sense, and ACTUALLY DOING THE ESCALATION, and in-general being a man. First and foremost. That is what a man should copy. And if a man doesn't have these qualities, he will not get laid. All these things are naturally within a man, but they get faded as he grows up as social conditioning and WOMEN WHO HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO COMMUNICATE WHAT THEY ACTUALLY RESPOND TO ON AN EMOTIONAL LEVEL fuck with his head.
     
  18. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    Looks have jack shit about hooking up with a girl. Especially at parties, and ESPECIALLY if they're drunk.

    It's all in how you make them feel and how much fun they have with you and how somewhat cocky (this one's kinda hard) and out going you are. Girls like the person that talks/knows everyone and has the fun. Even if that person is ugly.

    The whole Alpha Male thing.

    At least in my experience.
     
  19. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    ^this is what I always hear, and honestly that's how I see myself often times at parties... still, no attachment from girls.
     
  20. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    nothing... I could probably seal the deal with random drunk chicks if I really tried...


    I guess the only thing that bothers me is they never come to me, never hang on me and shit, etc... And i never even tripped off my looks until now, so I don't even think the subconscious theory is valid... I guess I'm just thinking more retrospectively to back in the day when girls wanted me, and now I'm just an average guy who's gotta put in a lot of work just to seal the deal.
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    sounds to me like you want the girls to do all the work as far as hitting on you

    girls will do that to a certain extent when they are younger, but as you get older its less and less

    women are very subtle and show their interest in subtle ways

    quit looking for the "smoking gun" that proves she likes you

    get her number, plan the date, invite her on the date

    that's all you have to do

    as the man, its your job to lead the interaction where you want it to go

    as mentioned above, you have to make the moves and you have to be the one doing the escalating
     
  22. uf20wop

    uf20wop OT Supporter

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    pics?
     
  23. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest


    facing reality ftl.
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Know who you are and know what you want.

    When you see a woman you desire, go talk to her.

    This is all very simple, but we make it very complicated.

    Approach

    Number

    Plan date

    Invite her on date

    Execute date

    That's all you have to do. Don't look for shortcuts and do not attempt to circumvent this process.

    Learn to recognize when women are interested in you, and understand that you have to go talk to her. In most cases, she isn't going to do it for you.

    Its up to you to be the aggressor. Accept your natural role.

    Don't worry about "Will she like me?" Instead, think "Do I like her?"
     
  25. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    ^:bowdown:



    the thing is I've never really pursued numbers and shit too hard because I've had a girlfriend for the past few years... but I had no reservations about flirting and seeing what I could get, and then shutting it down later on... only problem is there was only a handful of incidents where this even happened, the rest of the time nothing.


    Now that I'm broken up with her, I just have a bleak outlook on the future as far as getting laid or meeting new girls to date... but now that I can actually try forreal and not just to test the waters, I think I'll have better success. I was only tripping off looks in the first place because my gay friend always calls me ugly and sometimes it sets in, but then again, he does it because I piss him off with AIDS jokes and the like... so I have it coming to me.
     

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