SRS I'm insecure

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Badhawk, Oct 3, 2004.

  1. Badhawk

    Badhawk Guest

    Not alot of self confidence, with girls, friends, or anything. OT, I need some advice how to gain self confidence and be more open with people, specifically girls., but not only that. I just want more confidence in myself and stop thinking the world is out to get me :ugh:
     
  2. hoLL@

    hoLL@ New Member

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    To gain more confidence in myself, I used to ask alot of girls out at the beach and mall. It has backfires and glitches, but it will improve your game. Try getting one nighters with girls you don't know.
     
  3. Repost

    Repost PENCIL DICK

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  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Confidence implies a certain surety in yourself and your abilities.
    If you think you have some athletic ability, then excelling in some form of sport is an excellent way of developing yourself and your self-esteem.

    Seems simple but it works.
     
  5. Shibboleth

    Shibboleth teh mad Plato skillz

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    This is how I went from an insecure lower classman to a secure and confident upper classman. I hope it will help you but maybe not, I don't know how relavent it'll be to your life.

    I used to be scared shitless of saying anything because I never thought it would be good enough or that I would be good enough. I didn't want to mention a single thing about myself because I was so worried that I would be rediculed and people wouldn't like me for who I was. I didn't put up a front but I was just quiet and insecure. I really didn't like to talk much and I sucked at making friends. I really couldn't quite understand why people liked others, and I didn't know what to say to get others to like me. I thought everyone would only be friends with super confident people who knew exactley what they were doing, and the thought that I just didn't know what to say and I didn't know what the "right" thing to do just gnawed at me and prevented me from saying anything.

    One of the biggest life changing experiences of my life was with the first group of friends that I had ever had that just really liked me for me. They were are great people and most of them increadibly intelligent and funny. It was great. I had known a few of the people for a few years but was for some reason great friends with them now, it was a really easy situation to be a part of. I think what started it all of so well, is that the first night I hung out with any of them as friends I shroomed with all of them. I really took so much I couldn't control anything I said. Zero inhibitions. So I guess it turns out that I'm a pretty decent person because I didn't say anything horrible (except say "pay attention to me" while laughing hystericly for some reason) and what I did say I think bared my true personality and they liked me for me. Later that night we were involved in some drama (avoid drama) and me and the rest of the shroomers left without caring a bit and just laughing our asses off about all the "baby mamma drama" that was going on, which, in reality, was probably just a few people having a serious discussion. If you think it's possible to have epiphanies while on drugs, then I had one. I realized that nothing really mattered as much as I thought it did and that people are generally cool people, they will like you if you talk to them (provided that they are not huge asses or prejudice of something about you).

    A great confidence boost is to just relax and be honest with people. Who you are is much cooler then anything you could make up. And don't be affraid of girls, they are just people, and most of them are as attracted to boys as you are to girls. Just approach people non threateningly and remember that you are who you are, and if someone doesn't like you for that, then somebody will. I hope this has been helpful but it seems like I've repeated myself a lot and I'm drowsy.
     
  6. If you have a considerable amount of money going in your pocket every month, I suggest you try to dress on a higher level. Appearnce has a lot to do with your confidence. Clothes, shoes, and jewelry can boost your confidence a lot. The way you dress gives people a message of who you are and what you like or dislike. Clothes have also the capability to make you authoritarian and sophisticated.

    Usually people do not socialize because they don't "look good". Fashion is the perfect solution to overcome that problem. Of course, a very good car would help you even further.
     
  7. Badhawk

    Badhawk Guest

    I'm not ugly, I can, have had a girlfriend. I'm not a loser, I have plenty of friends. I consider myself a pretty damn good surfer, and I know alot of people respect me because of my surfing abilities. I can't really explain it, I'm actually kind of popular around school, but I still think they are just using me or something. I DO know who my true friends are now, which was a problem I had in the past, so I guess thats a step in the right direction. I just feel really awkward and uncomfortable in big social situations and stuff.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    It's very easy, life is like a visit to the dentist, it's very scary to go in, but your going to walk into that door alive, and your going to walk out of that door alive, no matter what happens you will always survive, same counts for girls you will ALWAYS survive it. Heck there is life after death, so don't worry. :cool:
     
  9. Transporter

    Transporter A Bathing Ape

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    Good analogy.
     
  10. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    What makes you think people are using you?
     
  11. Badhawk

    Badhawk Guest

    :dunno: Something psychological I guess
     
  12. Badhawk

    Badhawk Guest

    One day people will act all :cool: with me and be my friend, the next they don't even notice me or say anything to me.
     
  13. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Forget a car, forget clothes, forget your physical appearance.

    You sir, need a bicycle. Ride that fucker all over town. You'll get in shape, and you'll have FUN. You'll meet people. It shall rule.

    My bike is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes. Tonight I shall ride it for 10 miles assuming the gears don't jam on me and all shall be well and good.
     
  14. ssroosta

    ssroosta Guest

    DOOOOD!!!
     
  15. Badhawk

    Badhawk Guest

    I think getting a date to homecoming would be a good start :hs:
    The one girl I really had a chance with, I fucking blew it. She has a boyfriend and I just have to look back and sigh. I have alot of friends that are girls, but none that I really know them well. Jusy kind of chit chat friends to talk to during class. None that I really hang out with. I want to ask a girl to homecoming, I just think it's weird to ask some random girl who doesn't even really know me that well to go with me. How should I approach asking them? :hs:
     
  16. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Fuck a homecoming. Get a bicycle.
     
  17. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    I'm still a bit confused about the bicycle thing.

    Maybe you could start hanging out outside of school with some people? If you don't have time (Re: Homecoming is too soon) just ask one of them to go with you.
     
  18. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I rode a bike for many years.
    It gives you many things.

    Personal freedom; the ability to roam freely, essentially for free, too.

    Fitness and stamina. Hell I could spend 12 hours on the bike easily. That fitness can be used in other areas too. Which brings me to...

    A way to meet people. Other people ride too. Some places have a very strong bike culture. Vancouver is one of those places.

    Get a bike. Free yourself.
     
  19. пathaп

    пathaп OMG WHAT!?!

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    how's that working out for you?
     
  20. opie

    opie hi. OT Supporter

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    I thought you got laid more then anyone on OT?
     
  21. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Confidence is what you make it. If you think you are confident, you will be. It's a function of others perception of how you act. Know you are confident, and you are confident. That easy.

    And get a bicycle.
     
  22. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    www.doclove.com

    www.askmen.com

    www.sosuave.net

    Go read up on how to improve yourself. Oh, by the way, welcome to real life. I was a shy, pathetic motherfucker for decades. Finally when I was 33 years old I decided to do something about it. I wish I had started 15 years earlier.

    Confidence is an act. Everyone has it. You don't need anything to talk about, you just have to be able to ask questions so girls think you are interested in them. Ask them questions and get to know them, and get ready to dump the losers. If you are afraid of talking to younger women, chat up older women. Ugly, married, whatever. They are often just as friendly and outgoing as yougner women, but easier to approach. When they stop talking to you, figure out what the hell you said that was wrong and don't do it next time. The more you can get a woman to tell you about herself the better. Don't be stalkerish, don't be stupid. No talk about cars, computers, sports, religion, politics, sex, ex-GFs or her ex-BFs. Talk about favorite things she likes, what to cook for dinner, favorite artists/bands, stuff like that. Get her talking about what SHE likes and keep it flowing.

    And don't be desperate. Walk away or end the conversation before she does.

    Go - read - learn. Some guys are naturals at this, others - like me - have to learn how to do it. No big deal, just stop wasting time! :big grin:
     

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