I'm in the most intense stage of my 4+ year relationship...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ari1979, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. Ari1979

    Ari1979 New Member

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    I have dated the same girl on and off for nearly 5 years now... Neither of us have had serious a serious relationship before this. We are truly a close couple, we have basically been living together for the past few months.

    Before I present my dilemma I must say that overall we are a happy couple. We both really enjoy our time together.. We're always laughing together and being cutesy and snuggly... we have so much fun! I love the girl to death, she is my whole world.

    That being said, i must admit my relationship has had it's share of drama, she is a very emotional girl. For the most part I can handle it but there have been numerous occasions where we've had huge blowups. However, this has improved a lot in the past year. We haven't had a serious blowup in months. :) We're communicating better i suppose.

    Here's my problem. There are certain events upcoming in my life that could seriously derail my relationship and i'm freaking out about what my options are.

    Firstly, she wants me to sign a lease with her for the next school year. I'm not comfortable doing this because i'm afraid that we'll break up (or something else bad) and i'll be in this brutal living situation. My year would be fucked. Furthermore, i'm not even sure if I want to be at that school next year in which case I would be a 2 hour drive away. She CANNOT handle long distance - we did it for 9 months, she got hurt. By the way, I have been telling her that i'm 100% living with her next year because i haven't made up my mind.

    Also, she hates my friends and will break my balls endlessly if i see them. I often see them without telling her. I'm really not ok with this.

    These are some BIG hurtles no doubt, but i love this girl to pieces. Apart from her extreme emotions/sensitivity/neediness she is truly my dream girl. All things considered, I can see myself marrying her.

    If I give in to her demands (signing a lease and making new friends) she will be happy and I might be happy. If I am rigid and tell her the truth about what I need she may or may not end the relationship. I'm worried that we would break up and I would end up really regretting the loss of this girl. :wtc:

    Has anyone ever been in this type of situation? Anything I'm not considering? any input :)
     
  2. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    Deal breaker.

    You're too young for this anyway.

    Move on bro.

    /thread.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    It doesn't sound like it's going to work out. I think you know it too..
     
  4. kmad86

    kmad86 Swine Epidemic Survival Crew '09 OT Supporter

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    How old are you?
     
  5. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    Why does she hate your friends?
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    This is what I got from it too. :sadwavey:
     
  7. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    in a healthy relationship you shouldn't have to make a choice between "giving in to her demands" or "doing what i want"... situation sounds bad and i bet it will get worse if you move in together.
     
  8. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Your friends where there first and will still be there after. Trust me even when your not the greatest to them they see what your going through and try to be supportive. Don't shit on them or they will leave you.
     
  9. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You shouldn't be contemplating marriage if you can't even have a discussion about YOUR needs in a relationship. If you are to scared to talk to her about not dropping your friends, and your fears about signing a lease you shouldn't be thinking marriage or that you two are going to continue being happy for much longer.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Told you in one of the many threads you made in the past (while you two were broken up) that it's just not going to work. But since you wont listen I shall just leave the thread knowing I told you so.
     
  11. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    not gonna work out.

    you give in to her demands you will not be happy and end up resenting her.
     
  12. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    sounds like a healthy relationship.
     
  13. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    If she would break up with you over you choosing/having your own friends then she is not the girl for you.
     
  14. PcH

    PcH Guest

    Giving up your friends? 4 years is a long time, but giving up friends is too much. :hs:
     
  15. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    been through this recently. took me a while to realize what the problems were. staying together because you love someone but are not happy with them in the relationship is no way to live. no matter what way you look at it its going to suck hard.
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    happy wife happy life... i would give in to her demands imo.
     
  17. ForevererZero89

    ForevererZero89 New Member

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    shes not wife yet. and i would say that is a ridiculous statement. i bet it was a woman who started that. anyway if she can't accept your friends, or, at tyhe very least not get mad at you when you hang out with them then it will be hard and you will not be happy and end up resenting her for it.
     
  18. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    There are many girls out there with which you can be cutesy and snuggly with.

    There are fewer who will respect you as a man a let you live your life. She sounds far too controlling for any man to be happy with. You're thinking about making new friends just to make her happy? Turn in your man card and attach a ball and chain to your leg if you're seriously thinking about this.
     
  19. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    Can't have the cake and eat it too. Your not going to get a dream girl with no drama, who also likes your friends and will never live in the same house as you.
     
  20. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I fucking hate this saying. What is the god damned point of having cake if you can't eat it? The saying is meant to portray the fact that all things change because if you have cake eventually you will eat it all and then it will be gone. But you can always bake another cake.

    And significant others are not limited resources that you can use up. So what you're trying to say is you can't have everything you want in a significant other, but really not only does that saying have practically nothing to do with the idea you're trying to get across, the idea itself is flawed and ultimately wrong. If one's expectations are realistic, one can have everything they want.

    Seriousy wolfskymoon, how is it you try to give advice when you have absolutely no experience to speak from and never listen to anything that people with experience tell you?
     
  21. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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  22. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Ok, first of all, I think you're idiot.

    I understand not wanting to be at that school but why have you been lying to her that you will move in with her when you don't even know! This could kill your relationship. Why not just tell her that you don't want to be at that school? Or even better that you DON'T KNOW YET what you want to do!

    I would suggest figuring out what you want to do about the school and then telling her before it gets too late and you end up at a school you hate.

    As for your friends, I don't get why she doesn't like them. Are they dicks to her or just in general? My then GF (now wife) didn't like my friends either cause they were dicks but you move on from it. Once I got married, the friends went to the wayside.

    If you love her and are willing to put her FIRST in your life. Then you should make this work however possible.

    BTW, I don't think what she is asking of you are "demands"
    She wants to be with you and I think thats great. It seems like you want to be with her too but you are hesitant?




     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2009
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    [​IMG]


    couldn't even get past that
     
  24. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Im glad I wasnt the only one :rofl:


    Honestly dude, NO BITCH is worth giving up your friends.
     
  25. fray

    fray New Member

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    If any variation of this comes out your mouth when describing a relationship:
    "Apart from X she/he is perfect for me."
    Then she or he IS NOT PERFECT FOR YOU.

    My last boyfriend was perfect for me too, except he didn't want to date me anymore. Wtf.
     

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