Well, I just got back to my apartment after having one hell of a rollercoaster 4th of July week. Im completely out of it right now and just feel like telling someone, because unfortunately I cant tell the people who I want to tell. Hopefully just writing a few things and getting them out there, even to stragers will calm me down a bit. The last week of my life has been crazy, I flew to Boston from Chattanooga for the holiday week. I was born outside of boston so I am going to see friends and family. this trip was anything but normal. My group of 3 close friends spent its first 3th of july apart in 20 years just because the one girl in the group (my best friend) doesnt like my other friends new girlfriend. Best friend didnt want to be around her and I was torn as to who to stay with that night, given the fact that my best friend and I have been slightly more than friends over the past few years and had many talks about our future, I stayed with her. The next day goes by and I barely think of her which I feel great about as she is always on my mind. I spent the day from a friend from schoo, his uncle has a boat in Boston harbor and we spend the day there for the fireworks that night. The 5th was probably the most stressful yet most rewarding day Ive had in a long time. My best friend and I have known each other for our entire lives. Both of our families own beach houses on the same street and we've been friends literally since day one. As the years of gone by, we've gone past just being friends and have even had talks of being married one day. This is alot for me as Im only 21 and she is 20. Strangly (sp?) enough I am perfectly fine with spending the rest of my life with this girl, in my eyes she truely is perfect. But anyways, that night I treated her to a night on the town as it was her 20th birthday 2 weeks ago and I had not been in town during that. The night felt like a date although we are only friends at this point. Everytime she smiled it made me happy, it was hard to keep the night on a friends level as I knew she wasnt looking for anything more than that, I used alot of self control that night. Thursday was a lull, I spent most of the day with Ashley (best friend) I kinda tagged along with her as she did a few errands for her parents, it was nice just to be spending time with her as Im only getting to see her maybe 2 weeks out of the year which is hard for me. That night we went to her beach house and just hung out there, had a few beers and watched the Redsox game. We had an interesting conversation about our future together, which boiled down to her and I agreeing that we needed to wait a bit longer before possibly persuing anything. Friday I few back to TN, and its been down hill from there. I got in my FC expecting it not to start easily has my starter is on its way out and it usually doesnt like sitting for more than 3 days, I had be gone for 6. To my amazement, she fired on the first try. But soon there after as I let the car idle and warm a bit I began to notice a rough idle and a smell of gas, I though this was caused by only 1 rotor firing as it was a bit slow to start. I had this happen in the past and I knew if I just started to drive it would eventually fire. As I pulled out a noticed an enormous puddle from under my car, I immediatly freak out and turn off the car. I estimate my car had somehow lost 1-2 gallons of gas in the 3 mins I had the car there idling. It was now 11pm and I was 175 miles from my apartment. I made a million paniced calls to AAA, my parents and friends, half of which were drunk. After realizing that a tow truck would cost me upwards of 500 bucks, I decided to get a hotel room for the night and start in the morning. To my luck a friend called offering to drive down in his dads diesel truck and tow the car back. Finally at 7pm I was back at my apartment, with a car that almost blew up on me and girl in the back of my head nagging me since I stepped out of her sight yesterday afternoon. I now find myself completetly out of it, I havent eaten since 1230 and I dont feel hungry, no appetite. I have no desire to do anything, Ive been flicking through the channels on my TV for an hour before I started typing this. I really dont know where this is going to get me, but atleast Im getting it out. Hopefully when I return to work on monday I can get alot of these things out of my head. Knowing that I will probably be spending quite a bit of money fixing my car doesnt amuse me at this point although I know it will be that much safer once I take care of everything. To whoever reads all of my rambling, thank you, its nice to know someone cares.