SRS I'm in a pretty bad rut right now

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bounty_hunter, Jun 25, 2005.

  1. bounty_hunter

    bounty_hunter New Member

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    For some reason I always feel numb, bored and disconnected from everyone else. I'm slowly losing intrests in everything and just becomming a shell of a human being. My one main outlet; writing, I don't even keep up with. It's just like "whats the point?". This has been going on for a while now.

    I got to think really deeply today, When was the last time I actually felt something, happiness or even sadness? I honestly could not remember, I've been dumped, left out of the loop of friends, haven't really talked to anyone about myself in almost a year but then I came to the realization that I've become comfortable with this lifestyle.

    For example; this past week a met a girl...she actually captured my intrest, which no girl hasn't really done in over a year. We get to talking and she drops the bombshell...she has a boyfriend. Now old me would have probably been depressed for at least a couple of days ,I really liked this girl, but would have moved on. But when she told me today I felt nothing, no sadness, even when I tried to get a little sad...nothing. Kind of scared me today. Maybe I didn't like her but the fact that there was something else to think about, to hope for, threw me off of the mundane thoughts I think, it was something diffrent.

    It's not that I don't have any friends, I have a close knit of friends but for some reason I always feel insecure about putting myself out there (I'm usually the go to guy), I am an introverted person also so it just makes things much harder. I just feel like if I put myself out there to the wrong person I will pay for it. I cried once infront of everyone ( a friend died last year) but it was also the annivarsary of my dad dying...that was just too much but I felt like so weird. I guess I haven't found that person/people I feel comfortable talking to. Hell I don't think I've hugged anyone with feeling behind it.

    Theres no real question in this post, maybe others have felt this way.
     
  2. wtfmates

    wtfmates New Member

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    I've got no adivice to offer but I can say I've felt that way for a while now, also.
     
  3. seven

    seven New Member

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    My personality and your's are a lot a like. I don't feel much anymore either, but i'm not depressed. When i got the I have BF line, i just smiled and told her sorry for you time, went home and took a shower, i forgot about the metter until you posted. I am also content with my life right now, it's not good, but it's definatly not bad.

    I get bored a lot, which will make me go crazy, so i get on OT, read a book, workout, and i'm fine.

    I think you are doing okay man, you shouldnt have any worries.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Perfectly normal , i mean you are a guy and guys usually aren't as emotionally loaded as girls are, however i've heard more about this one time a guy here on Asylum complained that he was considered emotionless and cold. Well the cure for this is to have a loving and helping interaction with people , if you help other people out (volenteering) you can see and feel how gratefull they are, you get experience with talking to people, and although volenteering gets a lot of critics, you actually do something good for someone and become a better person as a result of it.
     
  5. bounty_hunter

    bounty_hunter New Member

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    Thats actually a very good idea, I know am I guy and suppose to not be more emotional then girls, but not feeling at all just seems inhuman to me.

    I'm glad i'm maturing (maturity has hit me like a ton of bricks) to the point where I don't let things bother me.

    The volenterring again is actually a great idea, thanks again. Oh I finally felt pure joy today, I almost forgot this feeling, went to a GWAR show and I don't know why but that has to be the best experience of my life, this happiness thing feels good :)
     

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