I'm just gonna ramble 1st...then I'll do cliffs. Recently spent three insanely beautiful nights in a hotel room with my 24 yr old lover. The sex was amazing, so was everything else. This is w/out doubt the most powerful physical chemistry I've ever felt before in life. For the record, I'm 31. This man is intelligent, educated, gorgeous, & so far seems to be very caring. We even share the same b-day. Plenty of interests in common. He doesn't want kids, neither do I. We are similair in politics, & views on religion. After I slept w/him there was no way I could have sex with my husband again. I've been out there dating since I was a kid, 14. I'd never cheated before. Been married four years, going on five altogether. He refuses to seek treatment for depression. Broke down one night, & finally admitted to me what I knew anyways. He's mentally submissive (not entirely sexually submissive). Which means, if I don't ask/tell him what to do it doesn't get done. When I do ask/tell him what to do, & it gets done, he resents me for doing the telling. (emotional black hole) Lives in a rut, wrapped up in routine. He's been steadily sinking our finances since we hooked up. Bad decisions, late payments, overlimit on the cards. I say anything, I get a lecture on being controlling. I've catered to his sexual needs, he's sucessfully ignored mine. I did try talking about all this shit w/him, to no avail. Like talking to a brick wall. Day to day has become misery w/him. Told hubby I want nothing from him financially.. I'll make sure he leaves the relationship better than when he entered. He'll have all his stuff just not me. Fortunately, I never opened any joint accounts, nor took his last name. I truly hope this catalyst helps him realize he needs to get his shit together. I hope someday he'll be happy. I'm just the wrong woman for the job. Still....I feel like a failure at marriage, & like a bit of a shitheel. Feel really sad about the whole thing. I was going to leave him eventually, but needed to tie up loose ends before pushing the nuke button. The other guy...it just happened. I met him while out of town, & just couldn't let that particular opportunity go. I needed to get this out. It's a done deal. I just had to write it down for catharsis. Thanks. Cliffs: Getting seperated. Feel like just another failure at marriage. Feel sad.... Enter new, younger guy. Eventual divorce a certainty.