SRS I'm getting kind of tired of being alive :-/

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by borborygmus, Sep 16, 2008.

  1. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    yeah, so like the title says, I'm getting pretty tired of living. Not because my life is bad or anything; I have an awesome wife, and we're more or less comfortable financially, but life is just boring as fuck and there's not really anything that makes me happy.

    I've realized that I have a lot of "things" that we have accumulated over the years that I've been buying to fill some sort of happiness void in my life. In the past 7 years we've had over 20 cars, a few motorcycles, moved to a different city, lived in 7 different houses or apartments and we recently bought a house. However, none of these things have made me "happy" for more than a week or two, then the newness wore off and everything was boring and uninteresting again.

    what is the point of doing the exact same thing every day without getting anything out of living? It is like I am just going through the motions of life and faking happiness. I don't consider myself depressed, because I don't "feel" depressed, I just don't really give a flying fuck whether I get killed on my way to work or win the lottery, everything is just "meh". Nothing positive, nothing negative, just "meh".

    almost 2 years ago I realized that I was pretty much done being alive, and I thought it was because I was morbidly obese (5'10, 326lbs) so I started going to the gym and eating better and ended up getting down to 210. We started doing a lot more things outside (bought a kayak and go kayaking and also go hiking and stuff) While I feel a lot better physically, I still don't really see the point in living, what is the point? I'm 28 years old and the only think keeping me from /myself is the fact that I don't want to hurt my wife or my family :sad2:

    what the fuck is wrong with me? :hs:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Consider counseling :dunno: It certainly can't hurt.
     
  3. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    but, why?

    I've talked to counselors before because I was a fucked up little kid, but I've generally been the same since high school. I used to have a really bad temper, but I realized that nothing is important, and life REALLY sucks if you go through it all pissed off at everything. However, the whole "fuck it" attitude sort of backfired when cool shit also started to not matter :sad2:

    really, i just don't give a shit about anything one way or the other. All of it is entirely pointless and inconsequential.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Why not? How could trying something new hurt?

    Going to a therapist as a child is a lot different than going as an obviously depressed adult.
     
  5. ASoT

    ASoT New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    0
    Do you have children?
     
  6. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    :dunno:

    it is easier and cheaper to just talk it out on OT

    and I'm not depressed, I just don't care about anything. I just don't see much point in continuing to be alive. I've experienced pretty much everything I have any interest in, I'm pretty much done.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Well OT isn't a professional, far from it :rofl:

    Just out of curiousity, what all have you experienced? I get the feeling you are against trying new things outside your immediate comfort zone.
     
  8. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    we've got 3 cats and a bunch of fish :dunno:


    I took acid a while back and in the middle of my trip I broke down and started crying because at that point there was NOTHING I wanted more than to be a daddy :o

    then I got kind of scared because what if like everything else I've ever wanted and got then got bored of after a month. A kid is a huge responsibility, there is no going back on that one...
     
  9. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    :dunno: we've been to cancun and did that whole thing, I went to college, we went hiking in the redwoods in california, we went and visited someone special in BC and had an AMAZING time (literally best time of my life), I've been all over the country with my dad growing up as a kid, I got really involved with the texas a&m sports car club and then with dailydrifter down in houston. I had a badass turbo 240 that was awesome at drifting and then became a badass track car for the guy that bought it from me.

    Like I said, I've done pretty much everything I've ever wanted to do
     
  10. ASoT

    ASoT New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    0
    Maybe that's the kind of responsibility you need. It's something new that WON'T get boring. Just imagine all the time and energy you can invest in raising a human being. I don't know what kind of person you are but I've always looked forward to the dad part in my life. I can't wait to get to mold my own kid! If everything else is boring in YOUR life, why not bring joy and excitement into other people's lives? You might be surprised how it will affect you.
     
  11. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    honestly, that's almost the exact same thought that I had.

    my wife and I talked about it after that trip I had and she got off her birth control meds and now I'm rawdogging her. :naughty:

    we're definitely not trying to get her pregnant, but if it happens it happens and we'll deal with it. Ultimately it would be best if she didn't get pregnant until february or march, that way she would be done with grad school by the time the kid arrived.
     
  12. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2004
    Messages:
    10,412
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In your head
    sorry if this was already answered but have you talked to your wife about your feelings? Like really talked to her about it?
     
  13. Jake!

    Jake! Guest

    I wouldn't count on a kid to fix your life
     
  14. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
  15. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    about my feelings of emptiness and perpetual blandness?

    no, not really.
     
  16. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    :werd:

    I think it could go either way. Unimaginable win or incomprehensible fail.
     
  17. Jake!

    Jake! Guest

    you should;

    I'm kind of in the same quarter life crisis boat; and i've been having health issues that have been kicking my ass. I've finally got a surgical consultation this week.

    I take things a day at a time and I know things will eventually get better.
     
  18. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Messages:
    265,158
    Likes Received:
    147
    Location:
    Pearland, Texas
    Do you travel much? Have you considered getting rid of everything and jumping into a different lifestyle? Say, sell eveything off, buy a sailboat, and sail where ever you feel like going.
     
  19. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    that's a pretty cool story. I've been through the whole "ego death" thing with both an acid trip and a salvia trip, but never an actual NDE.

    salvia scared the everliving motherfuck out of me, and acid made me believe in the idea that consciousness is everlasting and that our body is just a temporary vessel for it to live in. Another reason I don't want to /myself is because I don't want to screw my chances on seeing what goes on after our bodies die. I'm pretty sure that once you/yourself, that's it because you made a conscious decision to no longer live.
     
  20. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    you couldn't pay me to go into the gulf on a sailboat, much less an ocean.

    besides, there is no conceivable way that I could afford to do something like that.
     
  21. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Messages:
    265,158
    Likes Received:
    147
    Location:
    Pearland, Texas
    Sure you could. It's actually pretty cheap.
     
  22. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    if we sold everything we owned, we would still be at least 50k in the hole thanks to student loans and credit cards.
     
  23. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Messages:
    265,158
    Likes Received:
    147
    Location:
    Pearland, Texas
    So disappear.
     
  24. borborygmus

    borborygmus Guest

    she's too attached to her family for that to happen. Maybe if the shit hits the fan, but right now disappearing isn't an option
     
  25. Jake!

    Jake! Guest

    then what? do all of life's problems magically disappear after a vacation?
     

Share This Page