SRS I'm finally seeing a psychologist

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by t-t-t-today, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    I am so god damn dissatisfied with my family, my situation, my behavior, and almost everything in my life. I almost puke sometimes because i'm just so disgusted at how much my life sucks. We are poor, we never have any food in my house, I am 6'1" and I weight 140lbs, I am very weak, my mother is a psycho, my father has cancer and is a very difficult person (mindset of a 10 year old sometimes), my little sister is a complete fuck up, very dysfunctional family, my mother hates my dad's side of the family so she never let me see any of them, she married him because she had 2 kids already and needed some poor sap who would support her, he married her because no other women would take him, they basically fought, argued and physically beat each other almost on a daily basis when I was growing up, we are a polish family, I barely speak polish anymore so I can barely even communicate with 90% of my family, I was alwasy embarrased of my family because they always do everything the stupid, retarded, and embarrasing way, i have an excessive facial blushing problem that causes me an anxiety problem which causes me to avoid social situations, I only have 1 friend and I HATE him most of the time, I have only had 1 girlfriend my whole life and she just left me for someone else because I live under a fucking rock, I can't socialize or get along with people my ago to the point where we become friends, I have zero motivation to do anything, all I want is money, a loving girlfriend, and then I want the entire world to leave me the fuck alone, my fucked up family fucked me up, and I inhereted every single undesirable trait from my wimp father, i'm just a weirdo, I stopped socializing when i was about 13-14 years old so basically I missed out on my teenage years and missed out on a lot of "rights of passage" that regular people go through as they grow up, missing out on all of this crap basically makes it very difficult to communicate with people my age, I can't hold down a job, I can't go to school, I just sit at home all day feeling worthless, there have been SOOOOOOOO many friday and saturday nights where I would cry and feel so fucking lonely because I had absolutely nobody to hang out with or go out with, it's finally taken it's toll on me, I just don't care anymore, I don't give a fuck about anything, I'll never get what I want out of life at least not with this shithole embarrassing family I was raised in.

    Therefore I have decided to see a psychiatrist. First appointment is today in 1.5 hours.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2009
  2. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    Good for you man, I hope it works out!
     
  3. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    Good luck!! :big grin:
     
  4. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    That's great news man -- well, the past and your suffering isn't great, but the fact that you're putting yourself in a position to take back some control you lost and to figure things out is good.

    Thanks for sharing everything with us too. It takes a lot of courage to post something like that and to just pour it out. When other people have fucked up our lives and hurt us, we've got a right to make them responsible, and we've got a right to also take responsibility for our suffering by cleaning up their mess -- so we can move beyond the pain and dysfunction that others burdened us with.
     
  5. morphine

    morphine New Member

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    It's great that you're seeing a psychologist, hopefully they can provide some insight into the underlying problems with your lack of self confidence and motivation.

    Why CAN'T you hold a job? Why CAN'T you go to school? It seems like all you CAN do is complain about how bad you have it....life is what you make it, you create your own life. The fact of the matter is, you CAN hold a job, and you CAN go to school(barring anything crazy that you're not explaining), you're just too lazy(I hope not) or too damn down on yourself to believe that you actually can.
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    It sounds to me the person is making an effort to do something about this and is expressing their pain sincerely. The job and schooling will come when this person begins healing and is strong enough to do it. That's my opinion.
     
  7. djbomberto

    djbomberto OT Supporter

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    if you ever feel like escaping, you can join the military. Travel the world, while getting paid...... and blow shit up
     
  8. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    ok he prescribed me some drugs, told me to stay away from illegal drugs and alcohol, and told me that I need to exercise everyday, stare at myself in a mirror for 5 minutes a day 3 times per day. Well it cost me $330 out of my own pocket and i'm going back next week for another session and it'll cost $110. What the fuck where am I supposed to come up with the money for this?
     
  9. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    yes and i'm considering the military now that the girlfriend is out of the picture. I want her back badly though...
     
  10. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    When I went I didn't go every week, I went like once or twice a month.

    Get a job? The exercise will help, you feel a ton better and more accomplished after a really good workout.
     
  11. Ritley

    Ritley New Member

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    Seriously, it's nearly impossible to feel depressed after a good work out.
     
  12. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    What did he give you? SOunds like he thinks you have depression? Behavioral activation (doing stuff, going out) is what's important. Maybe there's a bigger problem explaining why you're depressed, i don't think a psychiatrist can see this in a short evaluation (and I'm doing a PhD in psychology).
     
  13. JesusIsBored

    JesusIsBored New Member

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    good for you man.
     
  14. djbomberto

    djbomberto OT Supporter

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    Military should fix that problem with no issues. To me what it seems is that you NEED to leave your current situation and just GTFO. I would suggest military just for you can have a fresh start at life. New friends, New outlook on everything
     
  15. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    i would fight heavily if my doctor was trying to prescribe me anti-depressant medications and most likely refuse to take them and see another doctor
     
  16. djbomberto

    djbomberto OT Supporter

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    . Was this on the first visit? IF so get out and see another one.
     
  17. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Why? You went to ask his opinion, if he fits the criteria for depression, that's the doctor's task to diagnose it and prescribe. You're free to refuse the drug but how does that make the doctor's judgment any less better?
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    because most doctors are fucking retarded, are lazy, only look at lab values, refuse to do further research and just prescribe you garbage and tell u to move on and anti-depressants have a ton of side effects I want no part in not to mention the doctor did not even check his testosterone levels, estrogen, prolactin, thyroid, etc etc which can EASILY cause depression.

    fuck that lazy pos doctor
     
  19. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Honestly, while I wouldn't have used the same words to describe my feelings -- I agree.

    If the TS needs help finding a good psychiatrist in his/her area, use ratemd.com and only choose to review the doctors with the most ratings in the field you're looking for, for your city or state. Then, make sure they have no less than 4 stars. 5 is obviously preferable.
     
  20. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    You should feel proud.
    Proud you made it through with what you describe as a very rough upbringing and family.
    Proud that you did not give up.
    Proud that you want to change and know what ails you.
    Proud that you are making that change and are turning your life around.

    Be happy, you are changing your life and doing what you want for yourself, by yourself.

    Keep at it and you'll laugh when you think back to these times when you felt sorry for yourself and experienced bad moments.

    Keep at it and keep us updated! Good luck bro! I'm proud of you. :bigthumb:
     
  21. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    ok, well I looked him up on ratemd and all of his 6 reviews were unhappy. His name is Dr. Wolfram Blaise. I went in there and paid $330 for a 10 minute session. He asked me a few questions, gave me some material to read, and prescribed me lexapro and clonapin. He wants to see me again tomorrow.

    Well I agree that although he did help, he wasn't very good. How can I get my money back for that visit? I paid $330 out of my own pocket for him to prescribe me antidepressants.

    The anti-depressants don't seem to be working anymore. I felt euphoric the last few days but i'm back to feeling like shit today. Maybe it's because I called up my ex girlfriend yesterday and she told me to give her more time but not to count on anything.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2009
  22. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I would not return to him.

    You're SOL on the money, sorry man.

    He prescribed this medication recently, correct? Regardless, those medications don't work immediately -- other than side-effects. However, the doctor you saw was a Psychiatrist. I thought you were trying to get counseling with a "Psychologist?"

    If you're trying to get counseling, you'll need to take a different route. If you're trying to find a Psychiatrist to treat you medically (and possibly counseling, thought most don't do that) -- then use ratemd.com
     
  23. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    This just confirms what abomb and I both said. Read the reports on this fuckin' tool.


    [​IMG] 2/7/09 3 1 1 1 Most rude doctor I have ever met. He displayed nothing but contempt. I would never accept any type of medical care from this man again. In my opinion, he should not be allowed anywhere near people with mental health issues. Can't believe he's a real 'doctor'. Amazing this type of character is allowed to treat real patients. Insurance: Blue Cross / Blue Shield Please login on the left to respond to this rating.

    [​IMG] [​IMG] 11/23/08 1 1 1 1 Called to make a first-time appt. Receptionist told me they were too busy. She took my name and insurance info and said they would get back to me. I never heard from them again! This made me very uneasy as I was already nervous to do this. It is quite obvious that this doctor has a full plate and the office is already way too busy. I need someone who has the time to care.

    Please login on the left to respond to this rating. [​IMG] [​IMG] 5/13/08 1 1 1 1 I took both of my sons to Dr. Wolfram. He was never on time. The last time we went there, I had waited over an hour, found out he was at the hospital, and told the staff we could not wait any longer. I had no intention of paying for this last appointment and am not sure when the doctor actually got to the office. I received a note later from his office that he had "waived" our fee for not cancelling within 24 hours! As for the other comments about harshness, lack of bedside manner, etc., I could not agree more.
    Insurance: Blue Cross / Blue Shield


    Please login on the left to respond to this rating. [​IMG] [​IMG] 11/5/07 2 1 1 1 On my first appointment I was asked to come in 40 minutes early to fill out paperwork, after completing the paperwork two patients in the waiting room began discussing how long they had been waiting, one for over 2 hours. My appt was already 20 minutes past. When I asked the staff how long I would have to wait she was unsure but the other two women were in front of me. I asked for my paperwork back and left the office. In the lobby was a patient who had just left the office sobbing. I think this man should not be allowed practice.
    Insurance: CIGNA


    Please login on the left to respond to this rating. [​IMG] [​IMG] 8/5/07 2 1 1 1 This doctor lacks empathy, only sees symptoms, proscribes without a detailed knowledge of all factors affecting patient. He seems to like to have fast sessions, just to proscribe medication, and get onto the next patient. His patients are scheduled back to back, the only reason i can guess is for, due to his inattentiveness, is financial gain. Never returns phone calls. Shouldn't be allowed to practice medicine.
    Insurance: Blue Cross / Blue Shield

    Please login on the left to respond to this rating. [​IMG] [​IMG] 5/23/07 1 1 1 Horrible bedside manner. Has disavowed his Hippocratic oath. Very harsh, and he is working with people who are mentally ill.
     
  24. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    OP, I think you should fill out a review for that doctor so other patients can see what your experience was. Think of it like this, now you read their reviews and know you aren't alone. Had you read the reviews before this appointment, you wouldn't have gone to him!

    Help out someone else, it'll make you feel a little bit better about yourself too.
     
  25. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    This is all a big fucking waste of time. Everyone told me to go see a professional. SO, I went to go see a fucking professional. BUT, I didn't see a good professional. I swear to god, NOTHING EVER FUCKING WORKS FOR ME. Everything I try always ends up backfiring in my face. Every step I take is in the wrong directions.

    I have an excessive facial blushing problem. That problem is very embarrasing. I can't go through life with it. Many people have tried seeing a psychologists about it, but I have yet to hear success overcoming the blushing problem. The only possible cure is a dangerous surgical procedure that has many side effects and can leave you in worse condition afterwards.

    There is no hope for me. No matter how much I suffer, there is never any answer to my pain. I felt the absolute luckiest and best when I had my girlfreind, but that is gone now.

    There is no god.

    I appreciate everyone's advice. But the bottom line is that none of you suffer from the same condition as me and you don't understand the deep psychological trauma it causes a person. "Get over it", and "Face your fears" isn't good advice. The blushing problem is physiological. When you blush, your "flight or fight" response is activated, your heart rate increases, and it's very difficult to function when your in a social setting. I think I'll have to take my chances with the surgery. If the blushing was eliminated, everything else would fall in line.

    The procedure is callled: Endoscopic Thoracic Sympathectomy or "ETS" for short. Look it up online and you will see how dangerous it is.

    Edit: I just need to point out to everyone just how fucked I am. These are my options. I either live in a shell for the rest of my life because of my blushing problem, or I can go out in public and force myself through social situations only causing myself more psychological trauma. The other set of options is that I get this dangerous surgical procedure and risk getting some terrible side effects.

    On top of all this bullshit, I have legal problems. I was charged with 3 felonies and I very well may get convicted of them.

    I also have financial problems. I had about $8,000 in savings and owned 2 cars at one point. Now I am broke, and I will have to find a way to pay for the surgical procedure myself. It costs $6500. I already wasted $330 on this bullshit "professional" which just ended up being another mistake in an endless list of problems and mistake that I have in my life.

    I hate myself so much.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2009

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