FRK I'm confused! (sexually)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by magik, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. magik

    magik New Member

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    So, long story short: I have no idea what orientation I am anymore. I thought I was bi, then lesbian, then back to bi again, and now I just don't seem to be attracted to men anymore (again). I kinda sorta have a boyfriend (we've been on the rocks for a while now) and I just never want to have sex with him, I've tried to get myself into the mood but it just doesn't happen, I don't even care to watch straight porn anymore!

    I've been into girls since a very young age, way before I was attracted to men. I found my father's Playboy when I was 4-5 and I used to steal it and masturbate (yes I learned young). I had sex with a girl for the first time when I was 7 - I guess we learned everything from porn because I have no idea, to this day, how we knew what to do. I was only with girls from then until I was 16.

    I've dated a lot of girls and had a great time. It's like having a best friend and an SO, I can talk to them about anything and they seem to totally get me, being a woman and all. I've really never had a problem in a female/female relationship, it seems the problems only arise when it's with a male.

    At this point I'm completely confused and I don't want to give up on men completely, but at this point, I really see no reason or want to be with a man.
     
  2. Lovely Atlantis

    Lovely Atlantis Luscious Lovely Lady!

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    maybe the closet would be a better section for this thread? Just thinking the members in there would have some valuable advice to give you... in here you might just get a bunch of leg humpers.
     
  3. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Sound like you are bi but just haven't found an interesting guy. I mean, just because you like pizza doesn't mean you have to want it ALL the time, right?

    and Lovely might be right, there are some bi-guys in the closet who might have some good advice. :bigthumb:
     
  4. S1L1C0N

    S1L1C0N New Member

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    You sound like a Bi girl to me doll! With an asshole BF, find yourself a healthy couple or build one, have a gf with benefits and a GOOD bf...
     
  5. magik

    magik New Member

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    Ah yes, very good point. I completely forgot about the Closet, I really don't go anywhere but in FS anymore. Good thinking, I'll see if it can be transfered over there. TY!
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Have you still never considered talking to a therapist? I seem to remember from past threads long ago that you have possible underlying issues that need to be resolved.
     
  7. BlondieAMC

    BlondieAMC New Member

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    The best advice i can give.... Do what feels right. Do what feels good. Have FUN! Don't try to put yourself into a catagory. Just be who you are on the inside.
     
  8. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    maybe you can date a girly man? you know, some pansy doormat :dunno:
     
  9. magik

    magik New Member

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    I've seen a therapist since I was like 10 years old. They haven't really helped anything besides ask me the same questions I've asked myself 100x over.



    Yeah, I've always hated when people ask my sexuality because it kinda changes a lot. Sometimes I want a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes it doesn't even matter to me.
     
  10. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    You might want to look into this a bit more. Seems like they use psychoanalytic therapy. You might want to look into some other forms such as Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy or Client Centred or Jungian (more recommended for your questions). I think the key problem is the use of psychoanalytic, which for your concerns, I do not think works.
     
  11. magik

    magik New Member

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    Yeah, I did the whole CBT thing when I was in a psychiatric hospital a few months back. It helped me to be less negative and to get my anxiety under control, but besides that everything else seems to still be there.

    Never heard of Jungian though, I'll have to look into that.
     
  12. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    it also goes by the name analytical therapy
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: Find a new therapist FTW
     
  14. magik

    magik New Member

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    Eh, I've been to at least 10 therapists in the past 10 years. Seems they all have the same way of not doing a damn thing. Or maybe therapy isn't the answer to everything, because I've done it for years and even been on medication.

    Also not sure what my sexuality has to do with therapy, but whatever I asked for advice so I'll take it anyhow.
     
  15. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    have you talked specifically to a sex therapist?
     
  16. magik

    magik New Member

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    No, never saw a reason to. What can they tell me that I don't already know? lol Unless they have some crazy secret as to why every man I've dated is a complete buffoon I think I'm stuck :mamoru:
     
  17. S1L1C0N

    S1L1C0N New Member

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    Whoa now! Not all of us =) I'd open the door for you when we're out, and spank you the way you asked when we're not....we're rare, but we're out there!
     
  18. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    I think they would be more of an assistance. Your issues seem to be around sexuality. Sex therapists can provide a lot of assistance in understanding our sexuality. A large portion of the world (especially North America) still view sexuality as rather taboo and hidden (just look at the lack of research over the last 50 years). Thus, going to someone who focuses their attention on issues surrounding sexuality might be of a better assistance for you :wiggle:
     
  19. Lovely Atlantis

    Lovely Atlantis Luscious Lovely Lady!

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    I agree with this... but just a word of caution to you if you do decide to try to find a sex therapist: at least in canada, there is no regulating of the term 'sex therapist' so you really need to do your research to make sure the person is qualified. The therapist should be a member of a recognized profession (like psychology, social work, medicine, or marriage and family counselling) and have training and supervision in sex therapy. I understand in the USA there are some organizations such as the "American association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists" and the "Society for Sex Therapy and Research"- so if they're certified by those two that should be a good sign. One place to look for a sex therapist is through a local univeristy/college psychology department, or just as your family physician.
     
  20. razi

    razi New Member

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    I can definitely understand that you're getting burned out on them- especially if the ones you've been seeing were all knobs. You might want to take a look at the boys you've been seeing and compare what attracted you to them in the first place, then put that up against what is turning you away from them. See if you can put some of the pieces together.

    We're not all tools, I promise. There are good guys out there, you just have to find them.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2008
  21. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    I like to believe I am one of them :x:
     
  22. :io:
     
  23. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Naw... your a tool







    :rofl::rofl: j/k :kiss:
     
  24. MB300E87

    MB300E87 Active Member

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    i don't think sexuality has anything to do with this. i've been in your situation too and only my soon-to-be wife has ever been both my SO and someone i consider my best friend. perhaps you've just had bad luck with men, who knows? hard to tell over a forum.
     
  25. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    And the truth finally comes out! :sadwavey: :rofl::rofl:
     

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