SRS im confused...have no idea what to do

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by jackzune, Feb 27, 2008.

  1. jackzune

    jackzune New Member

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    ok...my girlfriend went out to a friends birthday and ended up cheating on me..alcohol was involved but she told me exactly when it happened...when i saw she broke it off with me and said that she had to do this for me because she didnt want me to be the guy this happened to...i found it to forgive her but now i dunno what to do...i still want to make amends and try go give it another chance but i just keep thinking that she is lieing to me about everything...the guy she cheated with still talks to her and i asked her if she did and she said no...i jus wanna know the truth. Should i confront her about this or not...can anyone give me some input on this
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Forget her.

    The whole breaking up with you for your own good was just a cover for her not wanting to feel bad. If she had cheated, then you dumped her for it, she would feel bad.

    If she cheated, then dumped you, she won't feel bad, because she is being selfless and noble (in her own mind).

    If she was really that selfless, she wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place.
     
  3. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You haven't forgiven her. You're hoping that if you 'conciously' forgive her, that deep down you truly will mean it. You don't mean it, otherwise you wouldn't be asking "What to do." The truth is, you should remain angry, and I would end the relationship.

    She is responsible, regardless of whether alcohol was involved, because she took the risk of putting herself in a situation in which that possibility could take place before she had consumed the alcohol. Just like drunk driving.

    The truth is, that it's over. And why would "you" make amends with her? It's she who should be making amends with you. Don't be a jerkoff and compromise your character by letting someone disrespect you like this.

    See the dictionary definition of amends: CLICK HERE

    Confrontation won't resolve the conflict, since you won't believe anything she says regardless of whether it's the truth or not.

    My rule states: If you think somethings wrong, trust your gut. Even if you end up wrong, which will be a rarity, there are plenty of fish. Don't take unnecessary risks like a fool, side on caution and save yourself the drama and suffering.

    Additionally, she broke up with you as a way to reconcile her guilt? Are you fuckin' kidding me? End it, for your sake and sanity.
     
  4. Ark

    Ark New Member

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    I agree with the above posters. The trust is gone between you two and there is absolutely no reason for you to even think about forgiving her. If you cannot trust her, which you cannot and no matter how many times you tell yourself that you can trust her you still will not, then there is no relationship to salvage.

    Like they have already told you she broke up with you for purely selfish reasons. She did it so she wouldn't feel as bad about cheating on you. Deep down she knows it was wrong and very hurtful. She doesn't like that so in order to make herself feel better about it she dumped you. You should be angry at her for doing that to you its so damn disrespectful and you shouldn't allow that to happen to you. Things won't change and she will continue to disrespect you if you reconcile. End the relationship, cut contact and move on. It will be the best thing for you mentally in the long run.
     
  5. hbrown023

    hbrown023 New Member

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    If you can not completely, 100%, trust her like it never happened, forgive her then you have to end it. My SO cheated on me a few years ago and we took some time apart and I concluded that I would give him another shot and I did and we've been together 4 years now and I love him more than anything. It just depends on what you decide you can live with. Don't torture you and your girlfriend any longer if you know that you can not do that.
     
  6. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    /thread
     
  7. danonboost

    danonboost I invite you

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