SRS im confused as to how i feel about her

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Capicu, Aug 20, 2007.

  1. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    i've been dating this girl for almost a year now

    and i am seriously confused as to how i feel about her.

    the confusion i blame on her. theres been a few times where she tells me she wants a break and she doesn't know if she loves me blablablablablablabla

    but barely hours later everything is back to normal and its all "i love u baby"

    now this is where MY confusion comes. im confused as to why the fuck i stay in this dam relationship.

    sometimes i feel like everything is going great and there can possibly be a future with this girl.

    and then other times i stop and think, if shes always coming out with that break bullshit, is it worth me staying in the relationship, it doesn't seem to me at those times that the relationship will go anywhere

    but i seem to forget it later.

    another thing is, im in college and i've fucked up pretty bad. i just got diagnosed with a.d.d. which answers alot of questions and im trying to get my life on track i.e. trying to "fix" the a.d.d. and the issues with my education, and getting a job (which is something i never really had, i've been working with my parents my entire life)

    sometimes shes understanding and supportive of me

    but other times, and this is where i get pissed off, shes the complete opposite.

    she will tellme shit like im going to keep fucking up at school, im just a huge fuck up, i fuck up at everything, etc etc etc.

    ^ that just adds on to my confusion.

    and yet ANOTHER issue i have is this:

    she went to study abroad this summer

    to make a long story short, she told me pretty much that she almost cheated on me with this guy

    she hung out with this group of great people (how she put it) and they had "the most amazing conversations"

    so one of the guys impressed her, but she didn't like him after. but she says she never cheated on me

    i've met most of that group and i asked her to tell me which one it was but she never did, in pictures or anything.

    i've kinda pieced things together from what shes told me (he wasn't part of the program, he was just there on vacation, he was only there for 2 weeks, etc etc etc)

    now some guy who was apparently part of that group came back a few days ago because he went somewhere else after that.

    well this guy fits the description, he was there on vacation, only there for 2 weeks blablablablabla.

    ever since he came back shes been talking to him ALOT, online, text messaging, everything.

    now i have to admit i feel a little jealous because, damn, even i'm impressed with what shes told me about him

    but its gone too far, these past few days its all been about him.

    and tonight i wanted to speak to her online and she wasn't saying anything

    come to find out shes having a conversation with this guy about art (her favorite topic)

    where i went wrong was i kept trying to have a conversation with her and apparently shes too fucking stupid to have more than one convo at the same time (bullshit)

    so now she came out with some shit that she feels tied down and i need to give her space i need to respect that she doesn't need to talk to me 24/7 blah blah blah blah blah.

    im over here like, ok maybe i came off too strong by trying to talk to my fucking girlfriend

    but i don't understand this shit about feeling tied down, i have never said anything against talking to friends, or hanging out with friends or any of that.

    i made that loud and clear from the begining of the relationship, that was something that would be respected on both sides.

    oh and her family loves me. all of them. parents, grand parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, even her younger brother

    when its good, its good

    but its moments like this that make me question.

    what the fuck am i doing in this relationship? i feel like im giving her all the power with these things and that doesn't make me comfortable.

    i don't know if i want to continue or not.

    sorry for making this so long i needed to rant, i can't sleep im pissed off (i have a huge anger problem too which im trying to correct.)

    ok thanks o.t. gnite
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well your not her Nr.1 in life, and you deserve to be her nr.1 in her life, and vice versa and you shouldn't take anything less for granted. Actions speak louder then words, and her body is constantly moving towards him rather then you. And she isn't supportive, anyone who tells you you are a fuck up, even if you are isn't contributing to your life. You need people who support you, anyone who doesn't , even if its family is a person who you should kick out of your life. You know i would support my partner in the study that person is participating in. You know you might not be good at learning but that's not the point, you do what you can do. Thats important. You know, school is just a formality your doing it just for the money, and for yourself in order to improve your own life, you don't have to justify yourself to your gf or to anyone else other then yourself. You have your life into your own hands. Wether you fuck it up or make the best of it is determined by you. Im not going to demand great results of you, you just try your best and thats all you can do. So give it all to give yourself the best future, and if i where you id kick her out of your life and focus onto your studies.
     
  3. c0dyblah

    c0dyblah New Member

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    well at least you're not blind to what is going on. :ugh2:put yourself number one in your life for now. seems like shes more confused herself then you are(if i am reading this right). and the way you're explaining it, doesnt even seem worth the time, and that you're sorta putting her on a pedastal, and she gives nothing in return. dump her before she dumps you(again).:dunno:
     
  4. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    ^ we haven't taken any breaks

    but we have broken up the times we've fought (we fight about once a month if not more, so yea we've broken up every month, and then we get back together a few hours later) but its pretty much split times when it comes to who breaks up with who

    i guess i have already pretty much made up my mind, i need to get out

    but then again i can't help but think of the good times, when the relationship is great.

    fuck man i need to get some fucking courage and dump this chick
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    That's not the sign of a mature, healthy relationship. Hell, it's childish to do that.

    Get out, this one isn't going to go anywhere.

    Oh, I didn't even really read the first post, I have no idea what you are confused about, but even from this stuff, I can tell your relationship should end.
     
  6. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    i dont understand why the fuck i cant bring myself to break up with her

    2 days ago she pretty much told me she wants to cheat on me so she wants a break so she doesn't feel bad.

    she said "im confused about "us" i love you and i wanna be with you but im young and i feel tied down i feel like i should be on my own and do my own thing without having to worry"

    so i told her, im not gunna sit around and wait for u to decide what u want to do with me

    blablablabla convo carried on and at the end she said "forget it i love u and i wanna be with u i dont wanna leave u"

    this is funny to me because this is the longest conversation i've had with her for the past few days.

    i was telling her that before because we've been barely speaking at all, she said yesterday that our conversations are boring and we always talk about the same shit.

    shes been talking to this guy non stop 24/7

    apparently about interesting shit to her like books and art, which SHE NEVER FUCKING TALKS TO ME ABOUT WHEN I TRY TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT.

    something that really pissed me off the other day is that i was trying to make plans to go to the museum, and then she ended up changing plans on me and suggesting we go to another museum because shes going to that one with this guy and her best friend (supposedly she wants to hook him up with her best friend now)

    a few days ago i was at her house saying bye to her grandparents who came from overseas, and supposedly she was writing an essay.

    i was there for about 3 hours and the whole time she was barely speaking to me since she was supposed to write an essay.

    i hear her typing away the whole time. when i sit next to her, shes still typing away and she hasn't wrote shit.

    guess who shes talking to, the guy from spain.

    AND an ex of her's who we've fought about in the past because everytime we used to fight she would threaten me with going back to him.

    ^ that issue got resolved but wtf why is she still talking to him.

    then she gets mad when i get up from sitting next to her and tells "why are u mad hes just a friend blablablablablablabla"

    i spoke to a friend of mine who told me that the relationship isn't over and not to make impulsive decisions, that she just needs some space

    well i don't know, this whole situation seems like bullshit to me

    WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I BRING MYSELF TO BREAKING UP WITH THIS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    yeah.. peace out

    too much drama
     
  8. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    omg i swear this girl has bi-polar

    shes pms'ing now apparently.

    one moment she says she feels cold to me and doesn't care to speak to me or see me or anything

    and then the next shes calling me baby and telling me she loves me and she wants to see me.

    wtf!!! everytime shit like this has happened in the past its been during the time shes pms'ing she turns into a completely different person.

    but whats pissing me off is its so drastic, she gets completely cold to me and unsupportive, during the rest of the month its the complete opposite.

    this is what pisses me off i've never met another girl who fluctuates so dam much

    what the FUCKKK

    it doesn't help that i have an anger problem and i get pissed when i feel like i cant communicate
     
  9. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    if its really that bad, and its really concentrated to that time of the month (who knows if it really is or not) ..

    tell her you dont want to see her for 3 days haha.. or get her on the pill or something .. something that'll help regulate her hormones a bit better

    and maybe look into WORKING on that anger management problem.. because all thats going to do is make things 1000x worse
     
  10. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    grow a pair of balls and dump her. do you not have ANY self-respect whatsoever? How can you let someone else treat you in such a manner?
     
  11. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    just take this for example. this is just one thing i picked out of your post and id say that, for most people, that is already a huge dealbreaker/reason to dump.

    way too immature. you sound kind of young and :highschool:... dont settle for less because you're afraid of not getting into another relationship.
     
  12. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    this is why im conflicted its so many different things, im working on the anger part, and yea that part about her ex' was in the beginings of our relationship and i did break up with her over it, but somehow i managed to get back with her.

    now the problem is exactly that it seems like some immature highschool bullshit, we are both in our 3rd year of college

    but when we aren't in a situation like this one, everything is great and it does seem to me like a "mature" relationship. i mean everything what we do, how we are, the things we talk about, etc etc etc.

    but then this....

    all of my friends, male and female, are telling me to try and work it out and i guess what why i haven't ended it yet

    but on the other hand i feel like some fucking pansy for putting up with her shit and trying to fix things
     
  13. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    i think you are a pansy for putting up with it too.

    i'm not trying to be mean but all of this doesn't seem to be getting through to you; just tough love in a way. maybe you should sit down, maybe re-read the thread and try to think of the situation from an objective point of view.

    if you guys are in your 20s and still acting like this... :ugh: come on man you're in college, there are tons of women, and many who actually act their age. the fact you guys used to break up every month says it all but i don't know how to make it any clearer. hopefully you'll make the decision that makes you happiest in the long run.
     
  14. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    yeah.. some relationships get past that, because it can be caused by external drama.. or whatever ..

    but this doesn't sound like one of them
     
  15. DaDornta

    DaDornta New Member

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    If you respect yourself you will see that you deserve more.

    I literally flunked out of college because of a woman who put me through a very similar situation.

    I ask you then, are you scared to be alone? Is this the only reason you are still with this person?

    If so, save yourself the years (in my case) of emotional scars and GET OUT NOW WITH DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT.

    You deserve the best for yourself. Demand it, and if you can't have it--go elsewhere or be alone until you find it.
     
  16. Terra Matris

    Terra Matris Guest

    I will say this again:

    Love is not confusing, love does not hurt;

    Love is a mutual respect, with open discussion and active listening.

    Love can also be just sit together, holding hands and saying nothing.
     
  17. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    its finnaly done.

    we made plans to go to a museum today and they got fucked up because of communication problems.

    she tried to put it all on me and then pulled her childish shit where she yelled and yelled and didn't let me talk and then hung up. she didn't pick up the fone when i tried calling her back so i had to resort to text messages to say what i had to say

    her reply to everything i said was "go see your therapist and leave me alone"
    "we're done"

    so i asked her if we were done because of this stupid thing with the museum

    and she said no shes tired of everything

    so she called me and i finnaly got everything off my chest, i told her im tired of her attacking me for every fucking little thing, im tired of her being so disrespectful and childish, and its better that we end it because its not a healthy relationship

    i was being hard headed and trying to believe that things could work out

    but now knowing that she feels the same why i do (which looking back its pretty fucking obvious) i can speak my mind freely and it's finnaly over.
     
  18. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    i feel sort of happy, mad, and dissapointed all at the same time lol
     
  19. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    What I find funny is that there are so many situations where the girl wants out of a relationship (and your ex obviously did), but they don't end it themselves. They just continue to do/say crap to try to get the guy to initiate the breakup.

    I don't care if you're a guy/girl/hermaphrodite, gay, lesbian, straight, bi or whatever. If you're not happy with a relationship, END THE DAMN THING!
     
  20. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    man this shit feels weird, i think i should COMPLETELY cut it off

    cuz even now as "friends" we were trying to make plans to hang out

    and this bitch is still bitchy and trying to fight with me, then she acts like im the one starting shit

    fuck that

    "friends" my ass

    shes probably trying to get back w/ me but shes being a bitch about it
     
  21. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Cut all ties with her.. and DO NOT get back whatsoever.. Based on everything I read I'm surprised you even stuck it out this long with her.. seriously. This is and never was a Serious or mature relationship for any matter at that.

    Don't keep her as a friend either. BE DONE...
     

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