Im Confused And Scared......

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Lilghettothugx, Aug 10, 2005.

  1. Lilghettothugx

    Lilghettothugx New Member

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    Well, I have been wanting to post this somewhere for a while now but never got up the courage to do so. So I just figured I would make another name on here so no one would recognize me.:hsugh:

    Well anyways, for the past few years I have been noticing some things. Im starting to suspect that I MIGHT be bisexual. It just all seems wierd to me though. I mean, I know all that stuff how its a sin and such and I AM a christian...........

    First off, Ill start off by saying that I am in high school. But this all started when I was in middle school. I was at my best friends house (I will call him friend A) One day one of his friends I had never met came by (I will call him friend B) I was introduced to him, and we became friends. So all three of us would always hang out all the time, stay over at each others house and such. But when I turned 13, everything got........wierd.

    I was sitting in the backseat of my friends moms car with friend B and friend A was in the front seat. Well friend B reached over and started touching this place on my shorts that had been cut and sewed up (Abercrombie). I looked at him, he looked at me, and I just sorta smiled at him and turned away. Then a few weeks later, we were at friend A's house playing some video games. Well I was standing up on friend A's bed trying to see his tv (tv was mounted from the ceiling and had a glare on it). While I was doing so, friend B got behind me and started rubbing his finger up and down my leg. I just turned and asked "What are you doing?" He just kinda looked up at me blankly and didnt say anything.

    Well, a year or so goes by and we are out in Friend A's backyard. We are messin around and friend B runs over and spray paints "*My name* -n- *His Name*" on the side of the tree. So he then tries to wash it off and cant and gets all worried about it and goes at it with a machete. Well, to this day, 2 years later, its still there (I think). So after all this is happening and Im hitting puberty, I start masturbating to the thought of him. Fantasizing about stuff we could do together. Then he comes back and visits at friend A's house and of course Im invited over too. So hes playing some video games without a t-shirt on, and all I can think about is jumping up on him and ripping his shorts and underwear off. I mean I had a raging hard on.

    So after that, he goes back home. So now EVERY time when I masturbate, I think of him. So now he moves back to the same city as me this year and we are going to the same school. I see him the first day and Im like, OMG! There he is! And Im thinkin in my mind "Hes soooo sexy." And also, whenever he would touch me or something, I would get goosebumps. I mean I just wanted to be around him and be with him.

    So now Ive been changing a bit without even noticing. Take for example, I got a cleaner haircut, started shaving every day (Even though my facial hair doesnt grow THAT fast, and I bought new clothes. Now Im thinking that I just did all this because I wanted to. But no....I started thinking today about it and realized that subcounciously, I may be doing this to try and impress him. My parents realized this and are saying Im different. I dont know what they mean though.

    So basically, I have told you this LONG ass story and Im hoping you guys can help me out. I'd like to think Im not attracted to another guy but I cant help it. Becuase I AM! Maybe its because Im just confused and I dont know what I want but I mean it does seem clear to me that I want him.

    Im so scared about all this because Ive read how its a sin to want another guy and stuff and Im afraid I wont be forgiven for it. And Im also afraid of anyone finding out. I dont want any friends or any of my family to know about this. I mean I am so worried that I have actually sat up crying some nights because I am so scared and confused and I dont know what to do.

    -Later-
     
  2. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    Man, get some help. I hate fags. I could never imagine myself with another guy, it's just sick. And we can find out who you are, so don't get cocky.
     
  3. paintbalesf

    paintbalesf New Member

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    You are an asshole and probably a homophobe struggling with sexual identity issues. Or you're only 10 yrs old and hate gays because people tell you to.

    I'm straight, and they are perfectly cool people to be around. It's not like they're going to feel up on you.

    But seriously, this guy needs advice.
     
  4. Lilghettothugx

    Lilghettothugx New Member

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    Then you are homophobic then.

    But seriously, IDK what it is. Alot of people say that gays are not born but rather choose to lead that lifestyle. I know I didnt choose to. I am attracted to this guy.

    Lets take you for example OT guy. Think of the hottest girl you can. Now imagine that everyone says it was a sin to think about her and that you could go to hell for it. People would make fun of you, and hate you, but you couldnt stop being attracted to her.

    Thats the way it is with me and thsi guy. IDK what it is.

    And I am not a loser in any way. I am one of the most popular guys at my school. Almost everyone knows me. Thats why I had to conceal my identity so if anyoen from my school is on here, they wotn know who I am.
     
  5. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    First of all, what does homophobic mean??
    Second of all, people aren't born gay, they just aren't.
    Finally, how did you start to be attracted to this guy??
     
  6. fpt

    fpt New Member

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    God created "Adam & Eve" not "Adam & Steve".

    So you were straight all your life. But when you met your "friend", you suddenly turned gay?
     
  7. Lilghettothugx

    Lilghettothugx New Member

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    Idk. I think it was things in my life that slowly led up to it. Like I said, I dotn WANT to be attracted to thsi guy. But I cant help myself because I Am!! There is no way to change that.
     
  8. Lilghettothugx

    Lilghettothugx New Member

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    And no Im not like one of these gays you hear about and see. I dress like a normal person, I look like a normal person, and I talk like a normal person. I dotn like to wear womens underwear, or talk like a women. Hell, when i see homos around my school, I cringe and just wish they would die! But I mean like I said I may be bisexual.

    That means I like guys and girls. Not just guys.
     
  9. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    There's no way to fix something like this....
     
  10. fpt

    fpt New Member

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    Well, is this something you want to change or do you think you would be fine with it? Do you have a GF?

    I'm not joking, but trying finding a GF who's a nympho...should change things quite nicely, lol.
     
  11. fpt

    fpt New Member

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    Damn right and wants to fuck 24/7...all day, every day in every way. :bigthumb:
     
  12. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    Shiot, that sounds like my girl.
     
  13. fpt

    fpt New Member

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    God bless all nympho's...especially the hot ones and those who are GF-material. :bowdown:
     
  14. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    That's my girlfriend.....
     
  15. paintbalesf

    paintbalesf New Member

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    Given what you've just said, I find it hard to believe you have a girlfriend. What are you, 11?

    No, people aren't born gay. But it seems to start happening at the same time other guys start noticing girls. That's called puberty. You know, when a person starts to become sexually active and attracted to males/females. Oh wait, you aren't there in life yet.
     
  16. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    Whatever, I'm 16. I was attracted to females since the second I was born.
     
  17. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    you're too young to understand life kiddo, there is no black n white in life.. i'm not gay/bi nor will i ever be but I understand that life is not black and white.

    you have to understand that other people like to do whatever makes them happy, if you want to go on living life the way you do so be it but dont flame others for their joys
     
  18. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    I'm not flaming, don't tell me what to do.
     
  19. Lilghettothugx

    Lilghettothugx New Member

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    But heres the wierd thing though......Im NOT attracted to other guys. ONLY this guy. THATS IT!
     
  20. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    If you're really close with someone, and you've known them for a long time, something like that could happen.
     
  21. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    If I told you what to do it wouldnt be thru the internet.
     
  22. OTGuy

    OTGuy Guest

    Leave me alone.
     
  23. Lilghettothugx

    Lilghettothugx New Member

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    Actually, let me rephrase that. Im attracted to him mostly, but there are a few other guys. Im attracted to the shorter, preppeir, guys. So basically, I am attracted to about 4 guys. all of them are the short preppy dressing sexy guys. They are all 15 or under too.
     
  24. TheMyth

    TheMyth New Member

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    This was probably not teh best place to come for advice about this. There are a couple sites and forums that deal with teens and sex issues and you'd be better to try one of them.

    Firstly theres nothing wrong with being bi/gay. Some people are and some people arent its not something to be ashamed of. Im sure you will hear alot that its a sin but thats rubbish, it used to be a sin to say that the world was round. The church would put you to death for it. It used to be a sin to earn interest on your money, a sin that was on par with murder, it used to be a sin to eat meat on fridays and alot fo other stuff. If youre a good person thats all that matters.

    At your age with you going through puberty alot of people think about members of the same sex, sometimes it means that you are bi/gay sometimes its just a passing phase. Really only time will tell and only you can be sure. If youre also attracted to girls it means that youre more likely to be bi than gay.

    If its something you explore thats your choice just make sure youre carefull about things if you want to keep it private.

    Really the guilt youre feeling is just bullshit some people put on you, its no different than what they used to say about pre marital sex and almost everyone is ok with that.
     
  25. TheMyth

    TheMyth New Member

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    Go play in traffic kid.
     

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