SRS I'm being stalked and I NEED HELP.. it's gone too far!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Anna28471, Apr 1, 2007.

  1. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    I need some advice, some smart advice which is why I have posted here. Please understand that I am embarassed to post this problem but I am desperate. I am at my wits end with this situation and don't know where else to turn.

    Over 5 years ago, I met this guy off AOL. I know BIG mistake. I didn't care for him and within 5min I left. I came home, he im'd me but I signed off abruptly. I later apologized for this rudeness in an email but then went on to change my AIM screen name. I transfered some "online friends" who I chatted with every so often. I didn't think anything of it. Months later, I began receiving anonymous emails from this person who claimed that the guy I had met was talking about me and knows all about me. Apparently, he sent 2 of his friends to contact me to "see what I was really about".. this person failed to mention who so I had to test them every so often but eventually found out who they were and this anonymous person confirmed it. I signed off for good. I later get an email yet again from this anonymous person asking me to sign onto AIM. The guy I met hacked into my account and copied all my "buddies" and deleted a few people. I called the police and filled a complaint.

    Over 2 years have passed, I haven't been on AIM. But I am receving those messages again but this time they're telling me that the guy I met has now turned my cousin against me (he got his screen name when he hacked into my account). They chat all the time about me. My cousin feeds him all sort of imformation. I emailed my cousin about a death in the family and also, asked (on behalf of his father what he was doing for Easter) but no response. Now that I think about it, on Christmas he was acting suspicous.

    What should I do? I feel like emailing him and telling him to expect a call from the police dept? I'm scared. I don't understand why this is going on at all. Please help me!!!
     
  2. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    1. Get a new email account and don't give the address to anyone that doesn't need it.

    2. Limit communications with your cousin to need to know information only, do not reveal any personal info.

    3. Be aware of your surroundings, if this guy is approaching your family members he might be willing to do something else. If you go out, let some know where you are going, when you expect to be back, etc. Take a cell phone with you. Consider getting some form of personal defense, like OC spray, or perhaps a firearm if CCW is permitted in your state.

    Other than that, there isn't much you can do. Sending emails isn't illegal unless there is some kind of threat (asking you to sign onto AIM isn't a threat), neither is talking to your cousin.
     
  3. cd7

    cd7 how troublesome

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    run antivirus software. mcafee or nortons anti virus.
     
  4. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    this is honestly why I dont give out aim/msn/yahoo accounts to virtually anyone online. Im already paranoid enough about stuff I dont need anymore reasons to be.

    Please be careful, get some kind of personal protection. Be aware at all times of where you are, who your with etc. Tell someone else besides who your with you call or txt when you get home or something if you go somewhere you normally dont go etc etc.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Talk to your cousin and get his/her side of the story
     
  6. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    I was just sent an AIM chat transcript from an "insider" in which my cousin admits to doing this. He said "that was the intent" and also "sneaky, huh?" What do I do now?
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Stop talking to that cousin, for one thing.

    And hell, at this point, i would just set your IMs/emails to only accept from a list of people...put your trustworthy friends/family on that list.
     
  8. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    What do I do when he comes over for Easter? Heck, a few days ago I sent him an email from my new place of work (BIG mistake I know) asking him to contact his father. He didn't even respond to the email of when our Aunt died.
     
  9. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    My cousin knows that the police will become involved he said "I'm not worried about it. No extradition" (he lives in another state)

    He obviously doesn't care.
     
  10. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    What the fuck are you doing meeting people off the Internet? :ugh:

    Sorry to sound so harsh, but really, you people never cease to amaze me. It's quite a stupid move, and now I hope you understand.

    Okay, firstly, it would be very difficult for him to "hack" your account through AOL. So, he must have gotten your account info through you, a friend, or you have an easy password to guess. If it's neither of the above, then chances are there is a keylogger somewhere installed on your computer and he is reading everything you've typed in... that would also mean he has read your thread, e-mails to your cousin, people you've recently IM'd, and all passwords you've typed into e-mail. You could have received this backdoor through e-mail, which is the most common attempt, through a file sent over AIM, or you were directed to a site which gave you this backdoor.

    My suggestion would be backing up your most important files and formatting your computer to get that awful crap off of there, if that's the case. Second, get on the phone with your cousin, not e-mail. What are you thinking? You cannot set a straight tone with people over e-mail, and you cannot resolve anything because your tone isn't decipherable over an e-mail. Give him a call, explain things to him, and settle it. If he's open minded, he will understand your situation and cut contact with the person he's giving your information to.

    If your cousin is absolutely unreasonable with what you've discussed with him, cut contact with him for the time being. That does not mean forever, perhaps when the situation has died down, you may open contact with him again... as it is important to keep hostility down in the family.

    Document every e-mail he has sent you, document the headers of the e-mail, and obtain as much information as you can about this individual who is stalking you. Then give that information to the police department and file a restraining order against him. I believe that will also prevent harassment sent over the internet, at least it should, to some extent anyway.

    I hope you get this taken care of.
     
  11. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Your cousin doesn't know much then, every state within the United States has extradition agreements with each other. Warrants and charges from other states ARE enforcable in other states.
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I think that a big problem is that your character exposes yourself to dangers where you think to see a safe enviroment. The world is full of dangers and not everyone has good intentions with you, its good to push the people with bad intentions out of your life, even if its family.

    I don't think you should ever go walking on streets alone, always in groups, i would always surround yourself with trustworthy people/friends because if this guy is some crazy stalker, you might risk being raped. And i can assure you it takes years of theraphy,maby something you'd never get over. So protect yourself by reducing the chances that he could come into contact with you in your life. You also need to protect yourself from you into seeking contact with the wrong kind of people.
     
  13. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I would contact my Aunt and Uncle and discuss what my cousin is doing and see if they can help. Then I'd recontact the police and alert them to what has been happening. Then I'd call an attorney to send a cease and desist letter. If they continue, I'd work with my attorney and/or the DA to bring an end to the contact.
     
  14. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    What do you mean "when he comes over for easter"?

    1. call NOW and uninvite cousin for easter

    2. if cousin shows up do not let him in

    3. tell his father/your uncle what's happening and why cousin is not allowed to your house

    4. while you're on the phone with cousin tell him in no uncertain terms this is bullshit and it needs to stop.
     
  15. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    Well, there's obviously something a lot more to the story that she is leaving out because she's embarrassed about it. I doubt she will admit and describe those details to people on a message board.
     
  16. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    Ask away. I have nothing to hide. I admit I was naieve (sp?). I admit I left rudely. I admit I changed my screen name, blocked him.. I admit when I found out he was stalking me, I left nasty away messages... never mentioned his name but they probably offended him.

    Does what I did justify his actions? Does it make it right for him to harass and stalk me?

    What would you do if some crazy chick did this to you.
     
  17. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    He was rather tall and very skinny. He did nothing but look at me and giggle to himself. Barely said a word. And do you know what his idea of fun was? Walking around a shopping center looking for glasses. Need I say more?
     
  18. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    You have good advice on how to start dealing with this stalker guy...

    But WTF is up with your cousin? I would definitely start having very little to do with that cousin and make it VERY vocal with other trusted members of the family what's going on here. You need the help of other family members in this situation...don't deal with it just on your own.

    If that doesn't work. Block this cousin entirely. That's a complete betrayal of trust within your family.
     
  19. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I met my fiance off the internet 2+ years ago... :hsugh: Pretty damn glad I did too. These days a lot of people meet other people off the internet. And sometimes you end up with fucked up situations like the OP's.

    To the OP: I would cease talking to that cousin until someone else in the family is aware of this. Obviously your cousin couldnt give 2 shits less about you if he's endangering you. Definitely get police involved if this guy doesn't just move on with his life and leave you alone.
     
  20. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    You're addressing other things but not an important one......... are you going to tell your cousin's parents what he's doing?
     
  21. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    I'd say she needs to let her own parents know as well, they could aid in contacting the cousins parents/getting the point across.
     
  22. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    I told his father who is schizophrenic about the situation and he is going to talk to him. His mother is MIA. My mother is also going to confront him along with my brother. I have a fairly good support team..

    My cousin is a liar. I confronted him about his before-- he looked me straight in the eye and lied to me. This time when I confront him, I'll have proof. I don't know what will happen.. part of me is scared. He's got a big ego and will probably either shrug it off or laugh. He's heartless. He only bothers with my family when he needs money. I emailed him a few weeks ago when my aunt died and he never responded. His father even called him, never picked up or called back...
     
  23. gummypoop

    gummypoop New Member

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    why would your own cousion betray you?
     
  24. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    See she over 5 years ago man. Give her a break. You'd be surprised who has met people off the internet sometime in there life. Just because somebody says they have not met somebody online. Does not mean its true. It can be embarrashing for people.

    To the OP, you've been on OT for almost 2 years posting some pretty personal stuff. I was looking at your threads you've made in the past. If this person is pretty computer literate and is able to see what you're doing on your compuer via virus whatever. Then he probably knows you post on Off-topic and he is probably on here as well. Before you start posting more private things or situations in your life you might want to get a new user name, I'm sure Fazle would be happy to do that for you in your given situation. It actually would be best for you to talk about just getting a new user name all together that way in case this person has buddy listed you he won't be able to find you.
     
  25. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    I have a theory. It's way out in left field but have you ever thought that maybe your cousin and this guy are working together? Again, it's a crazy theory but maybe they are both gay and dating each other? Then this guy you met is trying to get back at you for "hurting his feelings" and since your cousin is in love with him maybe he is just going along, brainwashed by him even.

    I know it's really weird but usually it's not too common for guys to become friends with total strangers online. I know you can talk to people about things in common. But I have never thought of talking to some random guy who lives near me about stuff other than baseball. I guess what I'm trying to say is that their must have been something really important between the two of them to stay in contact with each other for so long.
     

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