I'm becoming obsessive.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by EscapingJail, Jul 11, 2007.

  1. EscapingJail

    EscapingJail Playing To Win

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    I have a problem where I can't stop thinking about my GF. I think about her too much. I don't feel insecure about the relationship or anything, but I don't want to rush anything. I know I have stronger feelings than she does for me. We have been dating for 3 and a half months.

    What is the best method to mellow my emotions out, and be able to go on with a normal day where I don't have to think about her non-stop? Thanks for your time, I know my question probably sounds stupid but any help is appreciated.

    CLIFFS: How do I stop thinking about my GF?
     
  2. Keep yourself busy.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2007
  3. EscapingJail

    EscapingJail Playing To Win

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    I understand my question is quite stupid, even to myself I feel embarrassed for even posting this. But I was wondering if anybody here had the same kind of experience and was able to overcome them.

    Sorry again lol I'm not really tolerant with people who I feel should be able to souvle simple problems too. But I truly don't know what to do.
     
  4. I have been, but I couldn't stop it, so I don't know what to tell you.

    Edit: Mine still existed after 2 years.
     
  5. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    3 month relationship...whoo hoo. You are just in your honeymoon stage. It will go away soon. Get a life away from her. You can have friends and stuff still, go hang out with them.
     
  6. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    instead of focusing on NOT thinking about her (since that's just a way of thinking about her), focus on thinking about other things. keep yourself busy; find a new hobby, get caught up in a good book... anything you like to do. focus on yourself and eventually it will feel natural.
     
  7. giz

    giz Active Member

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  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You are chemically addicted to her.

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showpost.php?p=80436524&postcount=8

    EscapingJail, your thread is a perfect example of someone describing what this is like. I'm glad you posted this.

    A lot of people will say "don't think about her" or "do something to take your mind off of her" or whatever. It's not really going to work. It would be like telling a cocaine addict that he should "do something to take his mind off the drug." It's not gonna work. You're craving her on a chemical level in your brain.

    The best things you can do are:

    1) Try to become occupied with other stuff. I know I already said this won't work, and it probably won't, but it's better than sitting around doing nothing all day while you're thinking about her.

    2) Understand what is going on in your brain right now (read the post I linked to)

    3) Try to enjoy it.

    4) Try to behave logically. You want to see her all the time, but you have to realize that that is is not good for the relationship. Do not smother her because it will push her away. The only thing worse than what you're experiencing right now would be to be experiencing the same thing but having her tell you "I don't want to be with you anymore." That will increase your withdrawal exponentially.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  9. EscapingJail

    EscapingJail Playing To Win

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    Thank you so much everybody in this thread. Many thanks, Falconer.
     
  10. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    You can't stop yourself from thinking about something. It's impossible. By trying that you're already thinking about it. You can only change the way you react to the thoughts. Recognize when you're thinking about her obsessively, i.e. "I'm having obsessive thoughts about my girlfriend." Realize that you cannot change the fact that you're having these thoughts. Let them be as they are. Find another activity to engage yourself in, and try your best not to do a personal status check, i.e. "Am I thinking about her now?" Just let everything flow...don't try to stop the water.

    And to disagree with Falconer, obsessions don't take logic into consideration at all, because you can convince yourself of anything. That's the whole basis of OCD; you can't fight it with logic because obsessions are irrational and illogical to begin with.
     
  11. EscapingJail

    EscapingJail Playing To Win

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    Good point. I really like the ideas going around in this thread. Thinking in this kind of way and just posting here really helps. Thanks again.
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    you got too close to fast
     
  13. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    you cant really stop it ur hearts in control sooo just dont worry about it generally the problem fixes itself
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I believe you misunderstood what I wrote (or maybe I wrote it wrong; it was late and I was tired).

    I meant that he has to act logically despite what he is feeling. He can't control the addiction because it's chemically based, but he CAN logically try to alter his behavior by doing things like not smothering her.

    And I only said that to protect him; you don't want to get dumped when you're chemically addicted to someone.
     
  15. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I know what this feeling of thinking constantly about someone is like. It's the hardest thing in the world to get rid of. Honestly.
     
  16. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    You'll get sick of her soon enough.
     
  17. XGaSpAcHo

    XGaSpAcHo New Member

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    drugs/alcohol
     
  18. EscapingJail

    EscapingJail Playing To Win

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    I don't drink (not old enough i'm 18). I also don't do drugs so im not going to be doing any of that lol.

    Thanks Aquakittie thats a good way of looking at things.

    I also want to thank everybody in this thread for posting. Thank you so much.
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Does not work.

    Wait.

    Some drugs may work minimally, but you don't want to trade one addiction for another.
     
  20. YARGH!

    YARGH! New Member

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    If you listen to Aquakitty you will kill the relationship. It is too early on to be smothering her. Thinking about her is fine, but try to only act on maybe 50% of the impulses you may have to text her, call her, email her, etc. And definitely take some of the earlier advice and make yourself busy to take your mind off her. Work out, go for a run, schedule a day with your friends to go do something, etc. Just make sure you don't make her the center of your universe...at least not yet. Too soon
     
  21. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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  22. Trip

    Trip New Member

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    listen to YARGH:bigthumb:
     
  23. nygiantplaya

    nygiantplaya I

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    i went out for a girl for 1 n 1/2 yrs.. and i had the same problem, i couldnt stop thinking about her, wanting to be with her.anyways i really got obssesive shall you say and things went down hill and we broke up..

    Its just so hard to not want to be with som1 or think about them, when your really into them..Its one of my big problems and I've been working on it for a while now. basically get more self-control?
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    100% agree with you :bigthumb:
     

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