SRS i'm an incredibly dispassionate 18 year old college student looking for advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by jonathan, Sep 17, 2008.

  1. jonathan

    jonathan New Member

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    over the past few months, i've been severely conflicted regarding the path that i want to take in my life and its relation to the path that i'm actually on. i don't value anything that i'm supposed to. i feel completely disconnected from the things that i'm supposed to be close to, like i have almost zero feeling for anyone or anything. people my age are supposed to be ecstatic when they start college, but i am far from being enthusaistic about it. it's not like i'm focusing on being negative, either. i'm always opening myself to new experiences, and i'm fully prepared for the trials and tribulations of higher education. i know that by going through the process, i'll be making myself a mentally and emotionally stronger person, except my heart just simply is not in it.. at all. i feel like i'm only here to socialize, and i'm putting myself in ridiculous amounts of debt in doing so (not to mention that i get roughly 43% of the social experience because i'm living off campus and commuting by train and so are most of the students here, it's like high school). my university and most others offer a very boring selection of programs, and none of them peak even a small percentage of interest in me. i'm supposedly a "very intelligent young man", but the idea of getting a degree, finding a high paying job and jacking myself off in a pool of materialism like my parents and the majority of society wants me to is so unappealing to me. i feel like i'm being forced to travel a road that will take me so far from where i want to be, and i'm doing so disguised as someone that i'm not.

    my passion, literally the only thing that makes me feel, is music. i'm a humanitarian at heart, and i know that my purpose definitely lies in creating music. i feel that i can say more, do more, reach more people, and live a fulfilling life much more easily through that avenue, rather than say a degree in biology followed by med school and years of being a doctor. i'm a guitarist who spends hours and hours every day composing and practicing, growing as much as i can. i'm interested in every aspect of music as an expressive art form. i had been thinking thinking about majoring in music at my school, but the thought of that utterly disgusts me. practically speaking, i'd be fucking myself if i were to commit to majoring in music anyway for the simple reason that i'm self taught; i know absolutely zero classical standards (which i'd need to choose 3 to play for my audition), possess limited theoretical knowledge, and i can't sight read from sheet music unless i'm playing piano, which i'm not very proficient with. they are more interested in training a bunch sight reading orchestra drones and jazz theory nerds, adhering to strict classical form rather than encouraging any sort of creativity. i spoke to two music performance majors there who were guitarists and pianists and they were completely unhappy. they are way too classically focused and way too formal, and apparently don't seem to want to really help musicians grow as musicians. it's definitely not for me. i really can't see myself mixing art and education, i don't think it would be fulfilling being the kind of person that i am. not to mention the fact that after i graduate, my degree will be worth next to nothing.

    growing up with a single mother, one of the biggest values she taught me was to always follow my intuition. i've always been very connected to my feelings and emotions. the hilarious thing that i've learned about her is that now that i'm able to make my own decisions and think independently, my intuition is only good enough to follow if it fits in with her system of values and ideals. my stepdad is the exact same way, so that statement applies to him as well. now, i'm a very logical and rational person. i know they mean the best, i'm not a typical faggot 18 year old who's just like "lol fuck my parents bro theyre so gay they dont understand me lol". no, they're looking out for my future. i appreciate that. all they want is to make sure that i make decisions that will ultimately have a positive effect on me as a person. they want me to build a strong foundation for a good life. however, we have very contrasting ideas of what a "good" life is. that contrast in ideas stems from a difference in values, again. so the real question is, what can i do to build that foundation that i will need if i decide to leave school? will i live in my car and perform at bars like the stereotypical starving musician? will i continue to work at my $8.25/hr job at UPS while living at home and being a burden on my parents while i hone my musical talent? will i sign my life away to the marines for that tasty GI bill? what are my options here? i'm seriously lost and i have no guidance.
     
  2. FuzzyBunny

    FuzzyBunny I Doubt It

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    I'm only going to focus on one subject.

    good, focus on music then.

    Interesting...but if you really think writing songs is better than potentially saving lives :dunno: alright.

    Guitarist who practices, sweet. Keep practicing.

    :greddy: learning your scales and chords is not a bad thing. Getting a professional to look at your technique, and make sure your physically playing your instrument in the right way is also pretty important. I've seen alot of drummers (what I was) who had no idea how to properly hold their sticks and subsequently a few of them got carpal tunnel :dunno:

    Then don't go into classical music if you don't like it (you should though :squint:, its good shit). Learning theory translates to higher musical ability allover the board.

    Probably wasn't for them :dunno: or they didn't have a side project at all. If your playing classical as a performance major chances are your going to have side music projects.

    Music major plus a minor in education :dunno: have a good state job making 30-50k(top of the head) in the usa teaching music to anyone between 4-55+.



    Honestly 18 is still pretty young to know what your doing in life (who really knows anyway:hsugh::hs:), I'm 22 and I feel like I'm at a completely different place in my life from 18. Give it time, have patience, develop your musical abilities mentally and physically. If you really love it you'll do well at it :dunno:
     
  3. jonathan

    jonathan New Member

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    i know my scales, chords, and proper technique. i'm just not mentally competent with jazz level theory. i'm not disputing the fact that majoring in music will help me become a better musician, and that theory can only benefit me. but i still don't feel like i'd fit into a program like that, that's all..
     
  4. FuzzyBunny

    FuzzyBunny I Doubt It

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    Then keep developing what you have. I'd honestly learn to sight read though :dunno: not really that hard if you practice it and its worth it. Music is a hard lifestyle to have IMHO. I'd back it up with some formal education or training for assured cash.
     
  5. jonathan

    jonathan New Member

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    nah man, i appreciate your advice. thanks.
     
  6. phiquach

    phiquach OT Supporter

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    for being 18, you have a really high ability to express your feelings and thoughts through written communication. ever think of becoming a writer?
     
  7. Man Bear Pig

    Man Bear Pig Banned

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    Having done music school for two years and switching to something else, don't do music. If you have a high horse attitude about being self-taught and "how dare they question my art" find something else to do. Being a musician is a lot more than being able to play your music or instrument. How many poets do you know who can't read or write? Right now you are a guitar player. The formal instruction of music education is of great value. How can you break the rules if you don't even understand them? Take a year of formal lessons and make your decision to man up and do the work then.
     
  8. kf4zht

    kf4zht New Member

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    As someone who was in that position as a freshman I know what it is like.

    Figure out what you want to do and do it. It is your life, you choose what to do with it. Otherwise you will be sitting here 4 years later after trying to force yourself into the life everyone thinks you should have, not the one you want. It's a shitty way to go through life.
     
  9. FuzzyBunny

    FuzzyBunny I Doubt It

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    wow, :werd:
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Here is what you do, you will say: FUCK YOU and goodbye to your University. You will attend a conservatorium and become an orchestra Director.

    The thing is you have found your path in life, now you only have to enforce this choice to make it become a reality.

    This is the same thing you must say to your parents. Just say to them that you are 'dead unhappy' , that you've made up your mind, and that you want to attend a music school.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  12. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    It's always a good idea to have a backup plan. Plus, as I've learned from OT/other people (I'm an 18 year old freshman too), you don't need to know what to do right away. Explore and see what happens. Be excited because you never know what you might find if you just try. My dad started off wanting to be a landscape architect(realized he couldn't draw for shit), ended up a biochem major, got a veterinarian degree, then ended up with a PhD in toxicology. Now he works in the pharmaceutical industry. He told me to basically just see what happens. I'm going to explore the various intro classes of many majors and see if anything seems like something I'll pursue.

    You might love playing music, but unfortunately, not everyone can do it because it takes a LOT of talent and dedication. Try it out and see if you're talented, but if you're not that talented, I'd just keep it as a minor or a hobby. Unless you want to work shitty side-jobs while barely scraping by. OR become a music teacher. It really depends on what sort of lifestyle you want to afford.

    Try out the music path for a bit, see if you're good enough to go somewhere with it, and if not, just keep it as a hobby/minor. Then get something you are semi-interested in/can tolerate, and will make some decent money. Then you can just keep playing music in like a local band or something and just enjoy it at the level you can.
     
  13. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    your thoughts on the music program there relay a sense of closed-mindedness and fear :o

    I feel the same way in a sense, I didn't want to join the music program here because I'd seen what college classes had done to other subjects I liked. But what you're saying sounds like you're limiting yourself as a musician. Some of the stuff that you said you didn't like about the music program there is some of the stuff that is very important to becoming a good player and "growing as a musician"

    But if it's not for you it's not for you, and that's fine. But I would say it's in your best interest to get away from the guitar as fast as you can and pick up at least one other instrument. The benifits of this are manifold for someone in your position. First of all, and I don't mean to be rude, but guitar players (even great guitar playrs) are extremely common. And I mean extremely. Everybody and their brother all play guitar...so expanding your abilities to a new instrument will not only give you something new to be passionate about, it will make you a much much better musicians. For me, things really started to click in music when I started playing 3-4 instruments and making connections between them :bowdown:

    So if you're serious about music, be serious about it, but get your degree. Doesn't matter what you get your degree in, just get it. But I say again, if you're serious about music, be serious about it. By that I mean, don't close your mind to everything that the music program at your school is all about. Theory is CRITICAL to understanding why songs/music works. My knowledge of theory, though not extensive, is very very practical and it guides me through jams and improvisations with other musicians.

    I was in your position 4 years ago and here I am now a semester from graduation...granted I'm not enthusiastic about my degree and I don't know what I'm doing when i gruaduate....but that's not as important as just getting the degree. But even more than staying in school, if you want to grow as a musician, pick up a new instrument. Keyboards are awesome, bass is very similiar to guitar, and nobody plays wind instruments :noes:
     
  14. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    or be 3rd guitar and make $18k/year and have to stock shelves at wal-mart so he gets a discount on food.



    he can involve music in his life without needing to quit college and try to get a fairly rare job that plenty of people WITH PROPER TRAINING are vying for.
     
  15. jonathan

    jonathan New Member

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    when i said my knowledge of theory was limited, i meant in the formal degree sense

    i've got more than enough theoretical knowledge to jam, improvise, and write music

    but yeah i realized that i'm definitely sticking to college. i need a degree, without a doubt. not to mention the socialization and preparation for the real world. my parents were right :o
     
  16. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    No, you're working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.
     
  17. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    yeah i realized that too man :o

    BUt having said that, if music makes you happy like it makes me happy, play as much as you can with as many people as you can! nothing has brought me happiness like music! NOTHING
     
  18. jonathan

    jonathan New Member

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    i don't see music ever being replaced as my passion, and i'll keep that fire burning

    nothing will change really
     

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