...even though I should be the happiest I've ever been, and I know it. Warning: massive wall of text ahead I'm currently a first-year student at my first choice graduate program, and I'm having a great time so far. My classes are as interesting as I expected, and I'm doing quite well grade-wise (so far). After a middling undergrad experience, where I only participated in one noteworthy activity, I've been involved in multiple student organizations and participated in multiple intramural sports. As far as I know, I'm well liked by my peers, and have even been asked by the upperclassmen to set up some events to increase social participation for the incoming class. I guess this is where I should mention that I'm a massive introvert. I'm 24 years old, and I've never been in a relationship. I've been diagnosed with dysthymia (chronic mild depression) and social anxiety, and I was fully depressed throughout most of my undergrad career, which really killed my social development. With help from a psychologist, I overcame my depression and the worst parts of the social anxiety; I've since had occasions when I felt down, but the feelings typically subside after a day or two. Getting into grad school was a huge lifeline for me, and I've been determined to make the most of it, so I've pretty much forced myself to "fake it" and act extremely social; I chat with my classmates before and after class, never miss a social event, and participate in a bunch of activities. I still need my personal time, like any good introvert, but I've made an impression as a talkative and very outgoing person. Yet, since moving here a month ago, I had been completely happy until these past few days. It's girl issues, but at the same time, it's really not - it's more frustration with the fact that I have no sack. The story: Last week, I went to a school social event. I took notice of one of my classmates - she's quiet in class and dresses pretty frumpy, but she dressed up on this evening and looked great. We didn't talk much that night, but I chatted her up more during the week. We ran into each other at a party on Friday, and then a group of us went to the local bars afterward. One of the bars started playing some good music, and I was thinking about asking her to dance, but my roommate beat me to it. They ended up dancing for a while, and I hung back as a fat drunk girl hit on me and I tried my hardest to look disinterested. The two have been chatting for the past couple of days, and they have a date this week. As an aside, I should mention that I've been in this position before - I'm interested in a girl, a friend swoops in and talks to her, and he gets her number while I hold my dick. I felt really resentful towards my other friend (for less than a week, at least), as I do now, even though neither guy deserves it - they did absolutely nothing wrong, and they didn't even know that I liked either girl. I'm not even mad that I missed out on this particular girl; I'm mad about the principle of the matter, that I didn't even try to approach her in the first place, and it's even more painful when someone else does take the initiative. I've never approached girls while sober - I haven't been entirely successful while drunk, but I've at least fooled around with a few. The only dates I've ever been on have been within the past year, and I can't even take credit for approaching either girl: one of them was set up by a mutual friend, while the other came up to me at a bar. Anyway, this brings me to my current predicament. I'm feeling depressed, and I know that it's irrational, because my life has never been better. There are two things that worry me: - My roommate is an awesome guy, and I know that I shouldn't resent him for this. I haven't been acting any differently around him (for the time being), but I'm worried that I'll continue to hold this against him. - Besides my complete lack of success with women, everything in my life is going great right now. I don't want this to end up affecting other aspects of my life and fucking over my college experience again. How should I cope with this? And since I've successfully conned my way into being extremely social, how can I take another leap of faith and stop being such a wimp around women?