I'm a 22 year old guy and I don't enjoy sex.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by zemlya, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. zemlya

    zemlya New Member

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    I know I have a strong sex drive - the porn, embarrassing Facebook messages, and the sheer thrill of the build-up to sex proves that. However, when it comes down to the actual process of sex, I get bored rather quickly. It's not as if I don't put any effort in. I like to think I make the girl feel special, and I make out I'm having a fun time. But when I'm laying there will the girl is passionately kissing me, my mind often wanders. I feel like I'm doing everything in sex, because that's what I'm meant to do ... not because I actually get a thrill out of it.

    And then on goes the condom and the fucking begins. The latex wrapped around my penis makes me feel like I'm having sex with a plastic bag. I go to kiss and touch her, but unfortunately my mind wanders again.

    Many times after sex, I have woken up alone much later and thought to myself, "bloody hell, why didn't I enjoy that?". I sometimes get all flustered and horny - eager to grab another partner, but when I do the vicious circle continues.

    Does anyone else have/had this problem? And are there any solutions?

    Thanks a lot, guys.
     
  2. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    Shrink.

    See one.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So we've at least narrowed down that it 100% a mental problem....now we have to figure out why....

    How much do you watch porn/jackoff?
     
  4. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    maybe you are gay?
     
  5. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    You're killing it today pillow
     
  6. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    Cant bate.. have to do something.
     
  7. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    ever had sex w. someone you loved? maybe to you the act of having sex is more of an emotional thing.
     
  8. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    for a better response, I would ask you this..

    Are you going after the girl..or does she go after you?

    Are you talking about one night stands? Or long term relationships?

    Do you have sex for more than 5 minutes?
     
  9. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    Tend to your swollen vajj?

    :mamoru:
     
  10. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    BTW I am totally serious about my above post... he seems like he is only doing it because that's what he feels like he should be doing.. not what he really wants to do.

    If not gay.. maybe you can spice things up a bit.. bring in some toys.. as her to tease you.. maybe you can be tied up lol
     
  11. zemlya

    zemlya New Member

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    Yeah, I probably should. Any idea how to go about that in the UK without it costing an arm and a leg?

    Quite regularly, I have to be honest. Once or sometimes twice a day. If, however, I know that sex is on the horizon I avoid wanking at all. Never seems to work, though.

    Nah. Not gay. I've done some things with guys and have found it even more boring an uninspiring.

    And as an extra comment on your second post, greenpillow, I'm very tempted to spice things up, but it never seems appropriate to suggest it on one night stands, which my sexual adventures usually are.

    Oops, didn't notice the other posts ...

    I have sex for my than five minutes, hard to place the extact time, must be more than half an hour. The advantage to not enjoying sex is that you can last a lot longer before cumming. Speaking of that, I never seem to have a problem with erectile disjunction.

    And no, I have never had sex with someone I have loved.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2009
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Shit, this was almost too easy.

    Cut down the jacking by A LOT. Doesn't matter if you know you are going to get laid or not, just cut it down to like....3-4 times a week and see if that changes anything.
     
  13. sandor3kgt

    sandor3kgt New Member

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    .

    If you were looking for a serious answer, this is it.
     
  14. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    Also, the fact when you're not emotionally involved, the sex simply isn't as great.

    One of porn's biggest issues, is that it makes guys emotionally detached IMHO. In the 80s, people would try to drum up public fear that porn would turn all men into raging rapists and sex a holics. Instead, the opposite has happened. Men who watch too much porn don't care that much about sex with the normal women in their lives anymore.

    I agree with this author's viewpoint

    http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article6027904.ece
     
  15. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    I could see that.
     
  16. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    damn porn, it fucked me up too!
     
  17. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    Stop with the constant porn and masturbating. Should help.
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I guess this is an obvious question but what are your fantasies like?
     
  19. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    No, I have yet to need a shrink so I can't help you there..

    Try dating someone and get emotionally involved. Trying that out might help alot.
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Emily read your post and had an immediate "ohhh" of recognition. "Almost as if my mind is separated from my body," that's how she's previously described what you're talking about.

    As soon as she liked someone a lot things got ... a lot ... better. Because otherwise it was like play-acting or going through the motions, and you knew what you had to do, and so you did it, but it wasn't... real.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Interesting.

    Sex therapist might be more appropriate - someone who specializes in this.

    Alternately, you can view yourself as healthy :dunno: Sometimes what we are too quick to call a "disorder" is actually just a different type of personality.
     
  22. zemlya

    zemlya New Member

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    Thanks for all your help, guys.

    I've just finished university, so I'll see that as opportunity to find some girls to date.

    In terms of the porn, I'll try to cut down. I just hope that the damage is reversible. I started viewing porn when I was very young (10 or 11) so I sometimes wonder that it has really ruined my sex life.
     
  23. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    I would think having more than one personality would be a bad thing

    I am who I am and that's all I am
     
  24. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    You've done some things with guys.....and your not into it with women. Are you 100% sure you aren't gay?

    Not trolling, I'm being serious.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    er...

    Yes, having multiple personalities would be a bad thing.

    But sometimes, what we are too quick to call a "disorder" is actually just a different type of personality.

    George's promiscuity is not "sex addiction;" it is merely the behavior of a naturally libidinous person.

    Jane's distaste for public intimacy is not "frigidity;" it is merely the behavior of a naturally introverted person.
     

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