SRS I'm 28 yrs old and I don't have a social life.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by PureEnergy, Sep 6, 2009.

  1. PureEnergy

    PureEnergy New Member

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    The few friends I have are either on a date or home with their so. I don't even know how to meet any girls. I understand bars/clubs are the worst place to meet someone and I have no clue where to meet girls. Right now I'm home on a Saturday night making this thread, instead I should be going out, but I don't want to go out alone.



    Edit: I also forgot to mention that I've never been out of the country for vacation. Yet I still haven't visit a lot of states.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2009
  2. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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    Why not ...Go out. Go some where eat, have a drink and do not be afraid to join a conversation. I would not go to a club but a bar/pub! Even a a steak house you can eat at the bar! Lots of people do!

    I am 29 but home with 2 kids :) If i was not home with the kids i would so go out alone!
     
  3. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    yeah, but you are also a chick.
     
  4. freckleface

    freckleface expose the raw nerve and get on with our lives...

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    I did not know that chicks could go out alone but a man could not! :rolleyes:

    If i am at a bar and i see a man alone not afraid to be alone i would so talk to him!!!! I do not like the type that always has to have a crowd!
     
  5. Julius

    Julius Guest

    :hsugh: it's not as easy for guys to do that
     
  6. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    I don't have much a social life either :wtc: I try to get out as often as possible with different sports, but I still haven't met any girls at all at my new location
     
  7. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Never ask a woman how a man should handle his social life, and vice-versa. The conditions on each side of the fence are so different from the other that it simply is impossible to get any useful advice from the opposite sex.

    You say you wouldn't be afraid to talk to a cute guy at a bar, good for you, but what you're not taking into account is that no guy is going to blow you off without saying two words to you, simply because you are female. You can show up at a bar and leave with a guy inside of 15 minutes if you want. That is not how it works for guys.
     
  8. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    Sounds like you are shy and unwilling to try. You keep saying things like "Thats not how things work for guys." Have you ever taken the chance and actually tried? I'm willing to bet the answer is no. Go out if you are bored, the worst thing that will happen is you getting plastered by yourself.


    Trust me, sit there at the bar, someone will talk to you.
     
  9. Julius

    Julius Guest

    have done it and succeeded.

    nonetheless, my shoot-downs were not on par with your average females. i'm not trying to stir up an argument, but this is simply the truth.
     
  10. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    it is possible for everyone to have a social life, and not everyone socializes the same way. the only way to get what you want is to actively seek all opportunities and go out of your way to try to meet new people. It can be really hard for some of us to initially meet new people. Suck it up, and before you know it, you are going to wonder why this was so hard because you are going to be having so many choices of what to do on some nights that you will have a new problem awaiting you: who to turn down that night and who to go out with :eek3:
     
  11. PureEnergy

    PureEnergy New Member

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    I don't even know where to begin to meet people. Currently I'm unemployed and I'm not in school because I've finished. Even when I was employed all the people are in their 50s and 60s and I also heard is like a bad place to meet a girl. I'm looking back and I think the best opportunity was when I was in college, but of course I never took the opportunity.




    I've been waiting for that random moment for 5 yrs now since I broke up w/ my ex. Before that I was waiting around 20 yrs.
     
  12. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    15 months ago I was in a similiar situation. I had friends, but didn't have much in common with them so I never had a great time.

    I always read advice about getting hobbies and stuff. I did some martial arts in the Marines, and loved it, so I started training in Mixed Martial Arts a lot. 15 months later, I've went 7-0 as an amateur and am having my first professional fight in a month. 90% of my friends are guys I train with in the gym.

    The point I'm trying to make is that I took up a hobby, and now it's my life. And I have a ton of friends from it. Also, I always have something to talk about with most people because a lot more people are watching UFC these days.
     
  13. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    hmm, well i tried meetup, and had success there. maybe you will too?
     
  14. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    No offense but its MUCH easier for a chic to do that...a guy thats out alone and tries to join a conversation looks like a creep. It can happen I guess if you are a good looking guy a woman might approach you :dunno:
     
  15. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I think the fundamental problem is that the market is so hot for people our age that anywhere men and women can reasonably be expected to see each other, they all have their guards up to avoid getting played, and the honest "hey, you seem nice, what's your name?" encounters simply don't happen. It's almost like it has to be an accident, that it has to be an unusual situation, or else the simple expectation of the possibility of meeting an asshole ruins the chances of meeting a good person.
     
  16. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    Hi, I'm blackbirdbeatle, comment on something based on the situation we are in....

    I've gotten so many girlfriends/dates that way and I'm in Canada. Girls in the states are a lot easier I've found to pick up. They'll even approach you. It's rare in Canada for girls to do this, at least on the west coast. It's the same with everything, confidence. Just like a job interview, if you show you are really interested in the company but come off as if you'll get by just fine if they don't hire you, it'll make them like you that much more. Same with girls and friends and negotiating and pretty much everything.
     
  17. PureEnergy

    PureEnergy New Member

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    Yea I've heard about meetup, but I'm always scare to go alone because some people might think I'm a creep or something. Also usually people probably already know each other at meetup and I'll be the only stranger which is why I have not initiated yet. Did you go alone at first?


    Thats what I'm afraid of. If I go to any social events alone, people might think I'm a creep or weird or some sort of outcast.
     
  18. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    It's just practice. The steps really haven't changed since gradeschool. An outsider will observe the group, find out what they can contribute, and then move in to help. In this case, you can overhear something at a party, comment on it and not come off as a creepy stalker. If you do this then girls will usually cut you a lot of slack because it takes a lot of balls to talk to a girl with her friends.

    If it's an individual then it's a bit harder because they will be more guarded but it's the same as approaching a girl anywhere. Introduce yourself and comment on the environment around you. Keep it light and positive. Apart from something really serious it doesn't really matter what you say at first.

    If you're really worried there are tons of legitimate sounding excuses like your buddy stayed home with his girlfriend and you didn't want to stay at home that night.
     
  19. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    yes i did. and i did not say a word the first few times. idk, maybe the same thing will happen for you. but you will never know until you try it.
     
  20. disley

    disley Ooooh no it isn't. Ooooh yes it is. OT Supporter

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    The easiest way is to go with your friends if they go to a party or some other place where there's people, then get to know them, by being sociable. They can't stay in all the time.
    Have confidence in yourself, it's important, if you don't think you're interesting enough to talk to, neither will anyone else. So have a few drinks, not many, you don't want to be stupid, just enough to gain enough courage to socialize.
    In fact start sky diving, that'll get you out and doing something in a social setting, and give you interesting stories to tell.
    Try harder to get a job, go to programs run to increase your chances, you can even meet people there, but avoid single moms unless they're really special.
     

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