Ignoring the Issues

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kuzcotopia, May 26, 2006.

  1. Kuzcotopia

    Kuzcotopia After all, what's wrong with second best?

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    Can anyone tell me why my boyfriend ignores me and turns off his cell phone/logs off of AIM whenever we argue or get into heated discussions about stuff? It makes me feel so awful but I don't know if it's just something guys do.
     
  2. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Cause that's how he deals with being annoyed? Seems a little childish, but everyone copes with stuff differently.
     
  3. cgnmd0819

    cgnmd0819 New Member

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    I can relate here not to the extreme of shutting his cell phone off.. but.. It's just his way of coping with stress.. Maybe he wants to get away from it all because he just needs time to think about it..

    I know with my boyfriend he needs to leave or get away.. just because he gets too stressed--and he gets away so he doesn't smoke-- I find that letting him leave and get away helps him relieve this stress without provoking an addicting habit that he has been quitting.. (stress is what caused his smoking in the first place) Also, I find that letting him relieve his stress as much as it bothers you, it makes it easier to talk about once he has thought about it, and cooled down...

    I know what you mean though that it makes you feel awful.. I felt the same way.. I've actually been trying to teach myself that that's his way of coping with stuff and have been trying hard to just drop it and then bring it up in discussion at another time--and when you want to bring it up again.. just be like I don't want to argue, but I wanted you to know it bothered me when.. just try to be calm through it.. don't blow up in his face again because it will resort in the same thing it was again with him ignoring you.. trust me.. been there done that.. also you could write down the stuff so you two can talk about it at another time, that way you won't forget what was bothering you at the time...

    do you have bipolar by chance?
     
  4. Riot

    Riot OT Supporter

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    maybe you "argue or get into heated discussions about stuff" too often and he's tired of dealing with it.
     
  5. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    People deal with things in various ways, the easiest thing for him to do is ignore/run away from the situation, maybe its a good thing; it lets him cool off, instead of fighting/escalating
     
  6. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Agreed. People handle things like this differently. My guy use to try to get off the phone real quick, walk away...and I would carry on, and get more furious that he wasnt willing to have the arguement. Then, many moons later, I realized that 1) my trying to argue with him when we were both heated only caused more damage, 2) we BOTH were able to talk nicer and more rational about 'it' when we had time to cool off, 3) just bc he didnt want to talk to me about 'it' right then and there didnt mean that he didnt care of 'it' or me, it just meant that there was a better time and place.

    Note: Some arguements should not be put off for another time, some warrent immediate attention, but beyond those certain very important life altering moments, most things are best diving into when after you've waited enough time to digest your food.
     
  7. Gladiator

    Gladiator Guest

    :wavey: welcome to the club he doesnt ignore me but the issues :) so i stopped talking about them, i dont suggest you do this
     

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