SRS If you think suicide at times, is it a real intention?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ammonation, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. Ammonation

    Ammonation New Member

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    Hi guys. I have severely under stress for close to 4 months now. I am 22, out of college and have a great opportunity at my hands. My parents are willing to co-sign me on a loan so I can buy a business. I can't find any for sale and have been searching for almost a year. And I am so stressed. I am living at home and have no friends here anymore. I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years in November and struggling with huge confidence issues. The days keep going by, and they are going by faster and faster its like the weeks are spinning around my head filled with emptyness.

    At times I was like god I just want to shoot myself in the head. But when I think it, I think it jokingly but then I start to question myself if I am serious. Am I headed down that road is it just getting that progressively worse? And I think to myself of when you go to the doctor for a check-up and they ask you if you have thoughts of committing suicide if this is the reason. I don't know if i need professional help, I don't even have health benefits. My parents are great and support me financially letting me live here but have basically put me on my own making life decisions and I have asked for help and I get shunned. I am losing my mind living at home and having no business. What are your thoughts?
     
  2. pixiedei

    pixiedei New Member

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    The best thing I can tell you is get help. Even if you're unsure that your intentions are serious, the fact that you're having suicidal thoughts, serious or otherwise, is enough to warrant getting professional help. If you're in a place in your life where you're that unhappy there's nothing wrong with talking to someone about it. Having a professional, unbiased place to speak about your problems can make a huge difference.

    If a professional counselor is not an option reach out the people in your life more. Tell your parents how you're truly feeling and give them the chance to respond. They love you, they don't want to see you unhappy. Also, don't ever forget the suicide hotline, it can save your life.
     
  3. enchantingeyes

    enchantingeyes Footsies

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    Have you considered looking for a job with your degree? That way you are busy and can meet new people. It seems like you're feeling desolate and lonely. Find a job, make some money so that you don't feel like you're living off your parents which will empower you. You'll definitely make friends at the workplace which could lead to a relationship. And you'll have time to look for a business but you'll be busy until the opportunity arises. Not to mention that you will eventually receive health benefits too, so that you can seek professional help if you still need it.

    If you're not looking for something full-time or demanding, consider something that is easier, even bartending or working at the mall. Just for the extra cash, and boost of confidence that friends and a busy calendar will bring.

    Another option is to look into further schooling, which will also fulfill a lot of the things I mentioned above and can be great for your career. Good luck.
     
  4. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I think it's pretty normal to feel so overwhelmed, however how you're approaching the situation is quite all wrong. You've just mentioned all the things you're missing, but you didn't mention any of the things you do have? While I know it's a huge undertaking transitioning from College to working life, you must understand that your are doing the best that you can and you couldn't have foreseen a lot of these problems that you've faced. Adversity is difficult, life is difficult, but hang around long enough like me, and you'll find that good things come to those who are persistent, tenacious, an who keep investing time and effort when everyone else has long given up.

    You must be flexible though. Opportunities tend to come my way because I let them. If you "Let go and say East Dose it" - which literally means "Easy....dose it" then you'll realize you're pushing yourself too hard, expecting too much. When it comes it comes, but for now don't blame yourself, because this happens to nearly everyone and you'll do fine as long as you don't quit.

    Yes, you will get progressively worse if you don't talk about it. It's ok to vent your frustration with this process you're going through. You've lost some important things, and you're being challenged at a time in your life when you already feel weighted down. So talk about it. You know? You aren't alone, others will understand.

    Personally, unless you've sat and calculated and plotted out your suicide, or thought about dying for more than a few moments, then yes I'd recommend you get help. The problem with your situation is far less serious from my perspective. While it's still really important, I don't think you're in any danger.

    You're burned out from having such high expectations and from pushing and being overwhelmed. Abraham Lincoln once said. "The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time."

    I suggest you listen to him. That's all you're responsible for, is living for today and doing the best you can with what you have.

    They know you can do it yourself, that's why. You have access to books, the internet, other people, banks, -- you can learn how to do what you need to do, and you can achieve it, but you have to live by some basic principles if you're going to do them successfully.

    Let me read you some quotes I've written from my personal mission statement. I encourage you to write one for yourself as well. You have to have one for yourself before you can have one for a business, and trust me, it's worthwhile. Here is one of my quotes:
    • Never give up. There is no such thing as failure, there are only results. Always finish what you start, and do exactly what you tell yourself or anyone else you will do. If you set a goal, work to achieve it, exhaust all avenues; take it as far as it can possibly go. If you make a promise, keep it.
    Now that quote above, you've been doing that. Now you are tired though, so you must "rest" mentally, in order to continue forward. I think you're not losing your mind, but rather you've felt like the weight of the world is on your shoulders alone to make or break your success, and it isn't that simple. Put it down for a moment, consider somethings. What are you trying to accomplish? What are your priorities? I'll tell you mind:

    1: Me [My health, mentally, physically, spiritually]
    2: My family
    3: My friends (including girlfriend)
    4: Work/Business

    You must take time for you. Once you've taken time, ask people "How to find a business for sale" -- I searched the internet just now and typed in those exact words. I came up with an awful lot of resources. Everything from books, to articles, to sales listings for boy buyers and sellers to advice from professional realtors.

    I found this just from a quick look:

    (1)Source: ezinearticles.com: How To Find A Successful Business For Sale

    Now if a novice like myself can make this happen, then so can you. Just ask for help from other people than your parents. Ask us! Ask OT, ask all sorts!

    Another quote from my mission statement:

    A goal is not always meant to be reached but may only serve as something to aim at. Keep your eye on the prize. It will become clearer as you near the target, but remember you can have anything you want, but you can't have everything.

    Do your best but realize that everything that you're doing is leading your somewhere, even when you feel like the sky is falling. All goals and expectations lead you somewhere, but if you aim, and you keep moving forward (Often by taking a break now and then) then you'll hit "A" target, but it may not be exactly what you expected right away.

    Here are other mission statement quotes I've written (I've changed some basic phrases we've commonly heard:

    • Anything is possible if you have ability, motivation, and attitude
    • Be present everywhere by being present nowhere (now-here)
    • Consistency & Moderation bring harmony. - Only Sober Moderation is lasting. Maintain balance in your life with sober moderation and you will never have to worry about what you’re neglecting.
    • Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
    And Finally:
    • Strive towards simplicity, creativity, efficiency, quality, and integrity.
    • Wise Men Have No need to prove their points, and men who have a need to prove their points aren't Wise - Be Wise. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, other then yourself.
    • Be like flowing water - Naturally flow towards fulfilling your destiny. Never strive, never resist, never stand still. Be formless; find a way through any obstacle in your path. Water can't be broken. Water can flow gently or swiftly, swirl around, or crash violently, solidify as ice, turn to vapor in moments. Water maintains overall equilibrium and contains yin/yang and applies only as much force as is necessary. Water is life in motion.
    • Decide what your greatest burdens and dissatisfactions are and work to fix them before anything else, so they do not subconsciously drag you down. Surface your deepest causes of unhappiness and deal with them, by action or forgiveness. "Know the truth and the truth will set you free." Until you release these negative states, there will be conflicts within you – conflicts that will express themselves in disease(mental and or physical), unhappiness, confusion, and the illusion of failure. If lost, ask for directions: kneel and pray.
    • Research & Learn - then keep what is important, discard what is not.
    • When Yang Strikes Use yin concepts: When life circumstances overwhelm you - bend with it - be flexible, gentle, and poised. Be relaxed and flow with it like a flowing river stream - eventually it will pass, and by complimenting the "yang" with an equal amount of "yin" you bring harmony and strength to yourself. (This too shall pass, and the storm will run it's course, and the sun will eventually shine again) "The Art of Fighting, without fighting". The best way to win a fight is to prevent it. Complimenting Yang is understanding how to surrender intelligently.
    • When yin strikes provide an equal amount of Yang concepts: stand Firm, Solid, and Inflexible to expand, and challenge oneself. Both bring harmony when applied within context.
    And there you go. That is my advice to you. If you still struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts even after applying these concepts to your life, after you've read the books, after you've taken time to rest and do "nothing, relax, play some video games, play a guitar, sleep, exercise 20 mins each day by doing a moderate walking program" -- do it for a week, if after doing all of this, you still feel hopeless and powerless, then you can start popping meds and go to the crazy house, alright?

    Seriously, I've been in your shoes, you're not crazy, you're not going to die, and the world isn't going to end. You still have your health, and your character and your family.

    If I lose my health, I've lost something -- and I have lost something, if I lose my wealth, I've lost nothing (And I lost that too), but if I lose myself, my character, then all is lost. I still have that, and you do too. So give yourself some peace, sit back, relax. When you do, things will become much clearer, and you'll be ready to take this to a whole new level.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2008
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    As I told you in your Wall Street thread, buying a business at your age when you have NO experience and NO clue what you want to do is going to be one of the largest mistakes of your adult life. Taking on that kind of loan with no directions, goals, or experience aside from college is a recipe for failure. Follow through with it and see if you are not bankrupt by the time you are 25.

    GO. GET. A. JOB. Seriously, put the business idea on the shelf for a couple of years so that you can get a feel for the way the world works and a business works and get some experience under your belt. Running a business isn't half as easy as it sounds. If you want to work for yourself THAT bad, then don't go into debt to do it. Start a cleaning business or a low cost internet business on your own and build it from the ground up.
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Viper is right, perhaps do an internship somewhere. Try different places to see what would best suite you. If not that, work at some different places. You must have a plan, a business plan, goals, and most of all experience. To get experience, work with people. You have a degree, a lot of guys would gladly take you on -- most people love teaching some young kid the ropes.
     
  7. Ammonation

    Ammonation New Member

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    Metalic Blue, that was an awesome post thank you. Don't even know where to begin to reply. I will just speak my mind.

    I have thought about now getting a job even if its temporary. Problem is I just don't know what I can do with my degree. I don't like TV/Radio people in my opinion it is very cliquey. I am thinking about contacting a head hunter and having him find me something.

    And I am feeling the weight of the world. I'm lonely, no job, no friends that are close, and just under pressure. Its gonna suck because now all my friends will view me as failing in my pursuit of a business. To top it all I haven't met a girl in a very long time. My last relationship was 3 years in which the last half year I was miserable with her and it dragged out months before she walked away from me. Now I am a good looking guy just the longer it is the less confidence I have talking to them. We'll see where it goes I'm letting this one last business play out the rest of this week before I put out the resumes.

    My overall goal in life is to have enough money to sleep alright at night. I don't want a Ferrari or a monster house. Only thing I could say is I want to travel the world with my eventual wife.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You've got a LOT of things to work on and the road is not going to be easy at all. At times you are going to be frustrated, lonely, crying your eyes out, wondering how come you can't be happy like everybody else? Why? will be your biggest question and the answer will never come...at least not the answer you are looking for.

    Your biggest problem is that you are letting others define your life for you. And let me tell you that, from experience, that is a recipe for complete and total misery all around. I understand now why you are suicidal because I have been in your shoes.

    1. Get a job. Any job. Instead of sitting back thinking what you want to do, go get in your vehicle or your parents vehicle or whatever you drive (or borrow a car or walk whatever) and go to your local town and drive up and down each street and pick up an application to any and every buisness that will give you an application. Case your entire town and do not stop until you have a stack of applications in hand and have been every known place you can think of that hires people. Take your applications home and fill them out one by one and then when you are done, take another trip into town to deliver them. And then follow up on them and call them until you get a job. You're overthinking what you want to do, when you should just be doing SOMETHING. Get a job and start working.

    2. Canvas your local newspaper, go to www.meetups.com, www.craigslist.com, and any other source (google is your friend) that you can think of to find clubs, activities, and hobbies that you might like to get into. Again, don't think too much about it or you'll talk yourself out of it. Try everything ONCE. Make that your goal. Not to find the perfect thing, but to try EVERYTHING once.

    Doing those two things alone will not only solve your problems with friends, meeting girls, and loneliness, but they will also force you to grow out of your shell and become more social. And the beautiful thing about the "everything" approach is that you are 900 times more likely to stumble into your niche and figure out what your passion is.

    Right now you lack a passion and because of that it's sucking the life right out of you and causing you to be suicidal and to feel hopeless.

    Other things:

    Start an exercise regimen. Walk for an hour a day, go to the gym, play sports, etc. Get active.

    Start eating healthy (if you're not already). You're going to need fuel to give you the energy to work the job you are going to get and to do the club/activity you are going to join and to do all that walking.

    Take vitamin supplements to be more healthy.

    A lot of people mistake "mental" health with just fixing the mind. I disagree with that entirely.

    I believe that people are made up of 3 core "needs" that need to be met, and when one of them isn't being met, it drains the other two.

    You are depressed, so your mind is "sick" (no you are not mentally diseased or whatever--unless you think so in which case I suggest a good therapist), and as a result it's taking energy away from you physically I'm sure and giving you that "indecision" that allows you to procrastinate.

    People need to focus on three areas to be completely and totally healthy:

    1. The body/physical--eating right and exercising and being active.

    2. The mind -- watching what you "take in" through music, tv, and your own limiting beliefs. Analyze them all one by one and remove negative sources from your life.

    3. The spiritual-- No I am not talking about church or christianity. I'm talking about figuring out what "centers" you. For a lot of people that is God/church. But other things like meditation and reflection accomplish this just as easily. If you're not a christian/church kind of person I point you towards Yoga and meditation.

    The key is to get up and GET ACTIVE. Get out from behind your computer and go do something. Stop talking yourself out of everything and don't jump into something as huge as buying a business when you have little/no social skills or outlets because it's a recipe for complete disaster and will only make you MORE suicidal.

    You've got to shake things up man. You gotta take your life by the horns and make it what you want it instead of having everybody else do it for you. Don't let others choose your life, because if you do you become an empty shell of a man and will never be truly happy. I am speaking from experience.
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You're welcome. Please do.

    Excellent idea. I read a book recently that talks about getting jobs. They talked about "Head hunters" for those who really are on the prowl looking for something serious. It's a good idea.

    It's time to let go of the pressure for a little bit. Surrender to the fact that you don't have all the answers "today", and that you have a right to recharge and take a break. This way you'll come back much stronger. Constant distress by forcing your way through life will not work when it's wearing you down to unhealthy levels, so let go, be a little flexible.

    You aren't failing, you're succeeding. Don't you see that? You're finding a lot of ways how "not" to get the desired result you want, that's success when the motivation is there to do your best. Don't you realize that failure doesn't exist? Only results. Sometimes you get a result you like, and sometimes you don't. A person isn't failing in a pursuit of anything if they're still in pursuit! You can't say, oh well I failed to drive to Boston while you're on the Mass Turnpike heading towards Boston.

    Thomas Edison explored over 1,000 different materials to create what would finally become the incandescent light bulb. Quite awhile back someone asked him "How were you able to continue your work after having failed so many times, that must have been frustrating." Edison replied "Failed? I never failed, I simply found 1,000 ways that didn't work, which allowed me to finally arrive at the correct way."

    Obviously I paraphrased some of that, but the point is the same. Don't be hard on yourself. People who fail are hard on themselves. Even the ones who look successful on the outside by our standards are truly failures inside if they're hard on themselves, because nothing satisfies them. They're always trying to jump through someone elses hoops, or go higher and higher, never appreciating their efforts and passions. Do what you do out of passion, not because it defines you and makes you a failure if you do otherwise.

    I told a good friend this recently who said the same thing to me.

    I said "Dan, in the context of your goals, where would you say women belong?"
    Dan: Well, I don't know, I just...haven't dated
    Me: Well, are you working towards a goal right now?
    Dan: Yeah, Forex, I'm trying to master this.
    Me: Would you be able to master this to the best of your ability if you had to divide your time?
    Dan: No.
    Me: You have a dog to take care of, right? A house to keep up with, and friends that care about you like me, and you need plenty of time to take care of your health and to sleep, yes?
    Dan: Yes.
    Me: So where on this list does a woman fall?
    Dan: At the end. Shit... you're right. It would actually be hard to do what I want to do if I was in a relationship.
    Me: Exactly. Be grateful for the opportunity to achieve the goal, the women will be waiting.

    Then follow this advice, and you'll accomplish your goal. Take a break, come back with a clear head. Prioritize what matters most, and really put time into it. Write it down, make a mission statement, and define who you really are and who you want to be, and where you want to go. Get specific after you've created a general outline, and then once you've gotten specific, write down "how" you'll do it, and if you don't know how, research it! Viper gave you great advice too. Once you've lowered all this "distress" and lightened up on yourself, you'll be ready to fight.

    Today is all you'll ever have, yesterday is dead and over, and tomorrow is a mystery. The earth is spinning on it's axis alone, unknown in a galaxy in this exact moment of now. You'll never have more than "now" to work with. So let go of everything but what you need "now". Planning is priceless, but plans are useless, remember that too. Things change.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2008
  10. Ammonation

    Ammonation New Member

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    I am new here as you can see, and one of the reasons I joined OT was because my good friend from college raved about it for years, and I figured it was a good place to at least socialize.

    A problem I have is in my town there is nothing but houses. No main street, no social life. To be honest all the popular bars are down the shore, and I'm not an advocate for drinking and driving.

    Metalic, seriously your great. I am new so I hope you don't mind me asking but are you a professional? Seem to to know and have a lot of great wisdom to share. Rename you Yoda?
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Welcome aboard. OT rocks.

    No, I'm not a professional in the university trained sense, I'm just someone who has been there.

    You'll be alright man, suicide isn't on the menu, you're just overwhelmed.
     
  12. Ammonation

    Ammonation New Member

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    I wouldn't say its on the menu really.. I was just curious if it runs through my mind occasionally when I get frustrated if it were serious. Doctors ask you those questions for reasons, my goal in life is to be happy. Thats all.
     
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Exactly.

    It's normal to sometimes have thoughts of dying when you're exceedingly overwhelmed. It's a distress signal. Some people get exceptionally depressed, some sleep, some feel like dying, some cry. Like any other distress signal, the mind is saying "Hey asshole, seriously, .....we have a problem, stop and look at it."

    The problem in your case is pretty obvious, so you'll yield to it, and give yourself some breathing room.
     
  14. dibalicious

    dibalicious sexy crew

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    Never posted in the asylum before, but if I think the only advice I'm fit to give is: why kill yourself? It's a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem, a problem that can and will be fixed if you give yourself the chance.
     
  15. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    My parents offered to help me start a business as well. I think they are nuts. I can barely take care of myself. I don't get suicidal (that'll take care of itself in a few years) but sometimes the expectations are so enormous that I just want to run away. Getting a job helped A LOT. It was a pretty crappy position, but so fun. And believe me, if you were truly serious about suicide, you wouldn't even be talking about it because you wouldn't want anyone to stop you.
     
  16. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    things could be worse
     
  17. Ammonation

    Ammonation New Member

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    Yea... So the weekend came and I got busy, hung out with friends and now Monday hit and I'm fucked... That business is definitely falling through and I put my resume on hotjobs.com and monster.com to only find that the only jobs I would be able to get are bullshit telemarketing jobs with a communications degree.. I am really losing at life right now.
     
  18. 2500

    2500 Guest

    Things could be ALOT worse, lol. I can't even get my parents to help me pay a water bill if I am 10 bucks short and yours are helping you start a business? I think once this cloud of being overwhelmed is cleared, you're going to realize how good you have it and what great opportunities you're given. Trust me man, hang in there. No one should throw away the stuff you could have in store for you.
     
  19. Ammonation

    Ammonation New Member

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    No I totally agree with you. Just so much going on at the same time. And I am not close to suicide, as I said earlier I am curious if its way early signs to be worried about... Just need a few things to go in my direction...

    Or at least one thing.. If I got a business that gave me the right money it would be key. Its apparent I am not happy with the jobs I can get with my degree. With a business I can move out, socialize with new people, girls. Sigh...... I am sorry just under a lot of pressure todays been bad.

    As far as the business I really want to take the chance on it while I have it. Shit happens in life so this opportunity could disappear.
     
  20. 2500

    2500 Guest

    What kinda business are you thinking about? Thats my goal, and I've been thinking about it all the time for many years.
     
  21. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    That's the thing, you think you "have it" but you really don't.

    Taking on a huge loan when you have no work experience or business experience whatsoever to start a business is just poor planning and economics all around.

    This is not an opportunity for you (your parents letting you take the loan). You are going to be better of if this falls through, because you haven't thought it through at all.

    The beautiful thing about opportunities, however, is they aren't always just random happenings that come once in a lifetime. Most of the time in life you'll make your OWN opportunities. You'll create your successes out of your hard work and persistence. Just because this "opportunity" is slipping by you now doesn't mean that you'll never get the chance to start a business. It just means that you now have the time make goals and plans, to gain experience, and to grow up a little bit before dumping an insane amount of money into a business that you don't even know WHAT you want to start.
     
  22. Yossarian

    Yossarian OT Supporter

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    Napoleon said "ability is nothing without opportunity" I think it works just as well the other way around, opportunity is nothing without ability.
     
  23. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I think think it would be in your best interest to listen to Viper. I read all about building business' and planning is priceless. Having an entire business plan in place, on paper, and executing each step is critical. The business plan should be like that which you would present to potential investors.

    Who, what, when, where, why, how -- detailed, organized, and systematically explained clearly and concisely.
     
  24. Ammonation

    Ammonation New Member

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    I tend to disagree with you guys to an extent. If I were starting a business from scratch then yea, I probably would fail. Buying an established business that has a track record then I don't think I would fail. And thats why I have went that route. I am not trying to be stubborn, just some people are made to take order in the corporate world, some aren't. It's kind of a dream of mine to own my own business and I have that chance, so its hard to let it slip away. I have this chance, to be extremely successful, and to be that story that others hear about. And I really want to take it. This is just the stress thats come along with it and its tore away parts of my life.
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Franchises and established businesses fail every singly day, dude.

    Just because you buy a solid name, doesn't mean SHIT if you don't manage it properly.

    Like I said, you are about to make the biggest mistake of your life if you don't get some experience first and get a solid plan. But it doesn't matter what I say, you have your mind made up and you are determined to learn this one the hard way.
     

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