If you suspect your s/o cheating, then she probably is.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by NOR*CAL, May 26, 2009.

  1. NOR*CAL

    NOR*CAL OT Supporter

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    Took me 7 months to find out(7 months ago was the beginning).


    It always occurred to me, why she was being so secretive from the get go. This is a case of "if everyone agrees, they can't be wrong".

    But it's not really "cheating" if you guys aren't official, I suppose.


    Another case of the nice guy.




    /rant


    ibdetailsareoverwhelming



    time to :420:
     
  2. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    This is not true.

    Sucks about your situation, but don't lure everyone else to your pity party.
     
  3. FrozenSTi

    FrozenSTi This site WILL get me in trouble......

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    If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a duck, it's a fucking duck

    Always go with your gut, is what I say. I'd rather be pleasantly surprised that they are not cheating on me than being a fucking blind man and choosing to ignore the signs.

    (the ex-wife cheated on me for years and I kept myself in the dark)
     
  4. NOR*CAL

    NOR*CAL OT Supporter

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    Last thing I would like from anyone is to pity me.


    I thought that this day, would probably feel like the worst day of my life. But, on the contrary, it has been a great day. The "good" news was actually great news. Why? Cause, I'm no longer in the dark. Which to me, makes me feel pretty damn good(at least for the moment :hsd:).

    QFT.


    My gut has always believed that she was, yet she'd always come up with something that would make me squash my intuition; making me feel real dumb. Suppressing the gazillion hazardous signs that have led me to where I am today, makes realized that I've already expressed how I've felt to her as days went on.

    I feel brand new, and, I may not need to get blazed up... Maybe I'll do it out of happiness :x:
     
  5. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    It's 7AM, I got the Flu, and I just read this :rofl:.


    Just made my morning man! Haha.

    I have nothing to add to this thread :o.
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm gonna have to go with MCohen on this one. There have been plenty of faithful partners that have been suspected of cheating by the paranoid and insecure.
     
  7. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    So you weren't officially dating? So she didn't actually cheat?
     
  8. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Sounds like you were friendzoned and wanted more, :rofl:
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    .
     
  10. Atrius

    Atrius New Member

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    Couldn't agree more.
     
  11. NOR*CAL

    NOR*CAL OT Supporter

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    Ok ok, maybe not 100% of the time, but maybe 51% of the time then :o


    I don't t really want to get into it with OT, but when we first started "dating" I've made myself clear about not seeing other people.

    I'm not going to say I didn't want more, but we've done shit that was outside the "friend zone".

    Thank you.
     
  12. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Well, if you dont want to get into it, then dont post about the topic. All information is necassary to come up with a valid statement. It sounds like you wanted more from the get go, she didnt, she wanted something more relaxed.
     
  13. Decease

    Decease New Member

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    Lets put a twist on this slightly, what if the SO (guy/girl) has cheated in the past. Would you validate it then when you are suspecting them of cheatnig since it has happen in the past.

    Which leads to the typical line of "once a cheater always a cheater" does that hold true or can people really change that aspect?

    Just something to ponder about really.
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    My statement remains the same. What matters is if the person is currently cheating not whether they've done it before. Obviously if they've cheated before they've shown they're capable of such behavior, but that doesn't mean they'll always be "a cheater". If anything, I would say the knowledge of that person's past cheating would make the partner paranoid and insecure.

    I cheated in a past relationship and even though I wouldn't have blamed my ex for still thinking I was cheating on her after that, I wasn't. And I haven't cheated on a single gf since, so obviously it would be foolish to say I will always be a cheater. That being said, there are obviously people who consistently cheat.

    My point is merely that there is no black and white here. If you want to make a general statement, it would have to be something more like this:

    If you are suspicious of your SO cheating on you, there is something wrong with your relationship.
     
  15. Decease

    Decease New Member

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    whole heartedly agree with this right here.

    The thing about being paranoid and insecure due to knowing that your partner has cheated in the past is obvious because they wouldn't want to be hurt or cheated on. So in a sense it's a self defense mechanism that triggers within ourselves to be cautious. Is that truely insecurity or a wall one puts up to protect themselves?
     
  16. NOR*CAL

    NOR*CAL OT Supporter

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    I had a suspicion from the beginning, but I figured it was too soon to judge. When I'd question her about something personal, her response was "I do not need to explain myself". AT times, I would catch her off guard telling me about shit, and then I'd tell her, "whoa, never seen you split out so much before". Then she goes "Why not? I don't have anything to hide".

    She flew up to NYC for Xmas, and wanted me to go for 2-3 days, but it was such a short notice, that I couldn't make it. While she was there, she asked if I missed her, cause she missed me.

    This girl is very fond of tattoos, she literally gets tatted up just about every other weekend in Los Angeles. But I've noticed, every time she leaves for LA, I'd never hear a peep from her till she gets back. I finally decided to invite myself, and she said "no, this I have to do myself". Then this past weekend, I've invited myself, since she was driving, and she said "there are some places I can't have people with me". She'd never pick up her phone when she's home, but she would while she's at work.

    Another time, we were supposed to spend New Year's in Tahoe together, but at the very last minute she flaked out and, again had to fly to Los Angeles, because her grandma's uncle was very ill. But when I asked about it weeks later, she said there's nothing wrong with him.

    Finally, I just grew tired of this bull shit and called her out on it.

    I told her via text cause she wasn't answering her phone.

    You saw me comin' didn't you? Haha. Don't worry, I'm over it. You can keep it all("All" being everything she has of mine, which sure aint cheap).

    She replieds with:

    Huh?

    Wtf is your problem?

    me:

    My problelm was, I believed you to be someone you weren't. You live a double life, that I no longer care to be apart of. I'd do anything for you, just for you to piss it away.

    her:

    /end of convo

    That's all I wanted to get out of her.





    Sorry, these are just a bunch of scattered thoughts.
     
  17. Decease

    Decease New Member

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    you wanted a committed relationship, she didn't. end of story and time to move on.
     
  18. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Honestly, she sounds like the female version of me. Not wanting to be in a relationship due to the obligations and what not.

    :dunno:

    Sounds like you wanted more. She didnt. You dealt with her for months on end and her travelling alone, and blah blah blah. It came down to you finally realizing what you wanted and what you two really were, were TOTALLY different.

    Sorry bro :hug: move on.
     
  19. NOR*CAL

    NOR*CAL OT Supporter

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    You guys are on the $ with me wanting more. I'm just glad I can finally come out of this damn rock that I've been hiding under for the last seven months.
     
  20. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    The hardest part is always admitting your faults/shames.
     
  21. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :werd: i totally agree, but why couldn't she just have been honest? why did she have to make up all the excuses?

    the TS made it clear that he did not want to date anyone else. however, his ex did NOT say anything of the sort. that my friend, is key number one. if a girl nods/agrees with you, but she does not actually voice the same sentiment, you do not want the same thing.
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Addendum:

    If you ex suspects you of cheating, then she is probably cheating.
     
  23. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Not true.

    Broad generalizations don't apply to relationships.
     
  24. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    Mc:werd:
     
  25. $shot

    $shot OT Supporter

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    so, she never agreed to be exclusive..right?
     

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