If you can get yourself off, what is the point of sex?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Euclid, Feb 20, 2005.

  1. Euclid

    Euclid New Member

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    My girlfriend seems to be struggling with this question. Or rather I am struggling with her answer to this question.

    She seems to think of sex as purely gratuitous, as a favor to me that she derives no pleasure from, despite my honest efforts to satisfy her. I guess I could just give up on sex and go back to masturbating only, but I prefer it to be a multi-player game. Giving her pleasure makes me feel good, and it's something that I want to do. She, on the other hand, seems to see sex as a chore. Even if she gets off, it's no better than if she was alone.

    Is there any way we can agree on this?
     
  2. Lurker111

    Lurker111 New Member

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    Have her become more participative. Encourage her to let you know what she likes. Involve more fore-play.
     
  3. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    hrm... well, for girls, sex is risky. i mean, having sex has the potential of changing your life forever (ie... pregnancy). :rofl: i mean, there are pros to having sex with guys, but when i please myself, i know i'm not going to get pregnant. ;)

    i, too, enjoy pleasing the guy i'm with, and i hope that he desires to please me as well.

    it seems as though your gf may be bored with your sex routine. try to spice it up a bit. sometimes new and exciting things need to be introduced...
     
  4. Euclid

    Euclid New Member

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    We don't have a routine. We just started having sex last week!

    I have nothing against masturbation, but do you prefer it to sex? If so then why have sex at all? If not, why not?
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    How old is she? If you two have just started having sex, has she just started having sex? Meaning she hasn't had much sex prior?
     
  6. Euclid

    Euclid New Member

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    I'm 24, she's 23. She's had plenty of sex in her past, but I guess she has never had a guy who could make her orgasm, so she thinks of sex as a favor "for the guy". She said that last time with me was the first time she had gotten off during sex, and we were using a vibrator during intercourse. Despite this early success, I don't know how I am going to change her mind about sex from merely tolerating it to actually wanting it.

    Obviously my feelings are hurt. I don't want to jump to conclusions and call her selfish, but I am having trouble understanding her position. I think that after so many disappointments in bed, she doesn't believe that any man can satisfy her. Now I enjoy a challenge, but it makes it really hard to change her mind if she is going to have such a negative attitude about it. I think it would be easier to get her to enjoy sex if she could become more cooperative and less pessimistic.
     
  7. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    I feel sorry for both of you.
     
  8. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Sex feels good and is GREAT for stress releif. I don't always cum but I sure as hell have fun and it benefits both of us in ways we can't put into words

    I used to love sex, but recently I have found myself not aroused and 'in it for the guy'. Life is hectic and I have things on my mind. Take her out, wine and dine her and make it all about her. Doesn't have to end in sex, some girls just like a bit of dry humping and pashing, sounds corny i know
     
  9. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    i don't believe he is asking for sympathy.

    OP, keep communication open, and if she likes toys along with intercourse then sobeit. pay attention to her clit, too. try not to take offense to her attitude as it is not directed at you even though it seems it, but at herself. hopefully over time her attitude will change. if you love this girl she's worth working on.
     
  10. Euclid

    Euclid New Member

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    You are correct. :wavey:
     
  11. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    For me, I wouldn't care if I got off, ever. There are some days when my SO and I have sex and I can't get off, don't know why. But just being so close to him and knowing that both he and I are still getting pleasure from it is amazing. I don't see sex as purely physical. As long as there's an emotional aspect to it, getting off is the least of my priorities.
     

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