LGBT If I publicly come out as bi, will that end any chances with women?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by D-FENS, Dec 1, 2008.

  1. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I'm bi, been wanting to get that out there, but I'm still primarily interested in girls. I get the feeling that if I come out as bi, I'll just be labeled as gay, and the girls in our social circle will no longer view me as a viable hookup/date. Should I keep my mouth shut as long as I'm still persuing women?
     
  2. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    You should do what it is that you want to do... With that being said I know of girls who would see that in every which direction good/bad/confused so it all depends on the girl and how open they are.
     
  3. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    Some will take the honesty as credit to your honesty and will make them like you more for that. Others might go for you more because of the chance of mfm fun.
     
  4. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    I so need to sleep, I had to retype that a few times.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2008
  5. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    if you tell them you lean towards gay tehy will prolly want you more lol
     
  6. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :werd: "omg becky i had sex with quentin that gay guy and he said he likes sex with girls now! i converted him!" :rofl:
     
  7. RX Bandit

    RX Bandit Sell You Beautiful »

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    Be prepared for the "Bi is just gay on layaway" comments.
     
  8. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    honestly...if all youre worried about is getting laid by chicks then perhaps you should just keep that shit to yourself. this thread is already a step closer to you never getting the poon tang pie anymore :(
     
  9. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    sadly, women feel threatened by bi men. it makes them feel like there's a part of you that they can't satisfy which doesn't make you a candidate for a LTR.
     
  10. 2500

    2500 Guest

    I'm "bi" and I've had that the other way though. I liked a guy who wouldn't date a bi guy. And, yeah, I got alot of the "bi is just cuz you don't wanna call yourself gay."
     
  11. :werd: I think that's what will happen. Most people just assume bi means gay, even if it's actually 80% girls you like and 20% boys you like. People see ANY attraction to the same sex as gay.
     
  12. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

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    Personally most girls might see that as a turn on, but then again Idk depends on the people.

    I couldn't see anything better for a girl than having a bf who likes to talk about other guys
     
  13. RX Bandit

    RX Bandit Sell You Beautiful »

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    You build one hundred bridges to become a bridge-builder. You look at one guy awkwardly in the gym and you are instantly one big homo :o

    Just for the record, I have found women in my age range (mid to late 20s) to make the most homophobic statements of any subset of the population (besides people wearing Confederate battle flag t-shirts). I think by this age every girl has "dated" at least one guy who was not into them. And they are still angry about it. They have not yet transformed into the cool, progressive 30something women who watch the Lifetime channel and will go to museums and art galleries with you.
     
  14. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I probably should have mentioned that earlier. I'm 19.

    Another big fear I have is that girls will think that because I like guys, I'll also like shoe shopping and... I don't know, hair styling? Whatever it is that girls do?
    The only thing that's different is we'd be able to discuss which guys we'd like to fuck. But with that, I'm not really attracted to many guys in our social circle/age group (I like a few years older, and since girls can't keep their mouths shut it would be awkward when a friend of mine hears I'd like to fuck them), and if we're talking celebrities, I'm much more into manly men like Mike Rowe, or Penn Jillette. Not 100lb twigs like Johnny Depp or Hayden Christiansen.
    People need to realize that while I may like teh cock, I still have a badass gun collection, I can still lift a full keg over my head, and I'm still 6'6"/285lbs and can kill anyone with my bare hands who feels the need to give me shit about being bi. To be honest, a major reason I want to come out is to beat the piss out of anyone who talks shit about my bi-ness.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2008
  15. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    pics :drool:
     
  16. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    lol, the gay stereotype is ridiculous and needs to be shattered. true that there are a lot of "fabulous" gays. they only get noticed because they stand out. There are a lot of gays that are NOT like that, but they never get noticed.

    you are not alone :hug:

    also, pics? :x: :mamoru:
     
  17. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

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    Don't hate on my twinks :nono: :mamoru:
     
  18. 2500

    2500 Guest

    It's just as stereotypical for you to show off your "manlyness" as a counter action against you being bi/gay. You can say you're straighter acting, but the "I have so many guns, I can kill you, I will beat your ass" IMO makes you look way more like a toolbox than being bi does. Anyone who brags about lifting a keg over their head is kinda lame IMO. It's like, you're going to come out, and everyone is going to know. If you act normal, you will be a normal bisexual person. Gay people don't HAVE to act flaming, it's just that the ones that do are noticed and that's where society gets their stereotypes. The ones that act "straight" don't get noticed as gay, so people don't make that connection unless you know someone personally. Alot of people go through the "I'll beat your ass if you say fag" stage, or the "I'll kick anyones ass who says anything remotely against being gay" but you just need to learn to chill about it. Gay and fag, unfortunately, are part of todays slang. Anything can be gay, from a speeding ticket, to a huge wing on a civic. I don't think you need to go beating anyones ass, because it only makes you look weak and insecure. Be proud of who you are, and accept the fact that not everyone is going to accept you. Maybe you need to go through your "tough guy" stage before realizing it's not helping at all, but I figure I'd save you the embarassment and help you understand you just need to relax, come out if you want to, and don't take things personally. No one will make a bigger deal about this than you will. When I came out, I was shaking, and freaking out because it slipped out from someone who didn't know. I told a girl, only person that knew, and the guy she was trying to sleep with, slipped and said something. He knew, cuz she told him as gossip, trying to win points to get in his pants. Aaaaanyways..... It slipped out in a croud of about 25 people. I freaked, I was punching shit, on the phone with the person who told the other person yelling at her, and ya know what everyone said to me? "Chill man, it's no big deal, it doesn't change anything."
     
  19. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    You're overanalyzing this.
    I'm not gonna beat up anyone who makes a lame joke about my gayness or calls something "gay," I'm just talking about anyone who goes off saying gays need to burn in hell and whatnot. If someone is being a serious douchebag about my sexual orientation, I see no reason to refrain from kicking their ass, and making them live with the shame of getting beat up by a queer.

    I'm not an agressive tough guy, I don't go around picking fights, but if someone is really pushing my buttons, it's only reasonable to push back. I've been proud of my manliness long before I even considered I may be bi. I didn't realize my liking for guys until just the past 2 years or so. I don't see why I should have to be classified as a "toughguy bisexual" vs a "normal bisexual," I'm just a guy who's passive, yet tough when he needs to be, and also a bisexual. I don't like this BS about my sexual orientation being my master status. I'm an outdoorsman, a mover, an animal lover, a pothead, a video game nerd, a libertarian, and many more things before I'm a bisexual.

    And why shouldn't I brag about lifting a keg over my head? Kegs are fucking heavy, I think it's a worthy accomplishment to talk about. No different than someone saying they can run 100m in so many seconds, or they can jump so many feet high.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2008
  20. TheMustafa

    TheMustafa hook 'em

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    the point is that by attempting to act "ultra-masculine," you're just reinforcing the stereotype that gays are feminine and weak. for example:

    who's the one that thinks gays are all girly and weak? sounds like you.
     
  21. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    You're putting words in my mouth.
    Society believes all gays are girly and weak. I get the feeling that girls also will think of me as "one of them" when they hear that I like guys as well. What I meant was that just because I'm bi, it doesn't mean I'm any different than the manly-man my friends have known all along.
    I'm not acting ultra-masculine as a result of my sexual orientation, it's just how I've always been. Hell, when your parents were reading "The Little Engine that Could" to you, my dad and I were looking at "Modern Assault Rifles of the World," and he had me watching Terminator and Under Siege before I even knew what sex was.
     
  22. You need to quit broing out so hard....bro.
     
  23. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    What? I get accused of something that isn't true, so I defend/explain myself, whats wrong with that? Is it that hard to believe I'm naturally a masculine guy?
    And for the record I can't stand "bros"
     
  24. We are all "masculine". No need to go off explaining yourself. It's normal to act like every other guy.
     
  25. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    Labels are labels. Humans like to label things. Don't fall in to it, there's no reason to get involved in how other people see you. Act like yourself. If someone says that you have to be a queen to be gay, they're just ignorant. I'm surprised that people haven't figured out what diversity is yet.

    Lifting a keg over your head though? Really? It's not about the feat of strength. Its the fact that you have a keg as your reference point. Pick something else that's more praise worthy and less bro-worthy.
     

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