If I had a gym, it would only have 4 rules

Discussion in 'Fitness & Nutrition' started by Falconer, Jul 10, 2007.

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  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    If you violated one you would be put on 60 days warning. If you violated it again within that time you would have your membership terminated.

    1. Take off the fucking weights when you are done. It's fucking awesome that you can bench 495lbs, but unrack your shit when you're done. If you're strong enough to bench a heavy weight, you're strong enough to put the weights back when you're done. This rule applies to all weights on all exercises, and dumbbells, which must be put back on the dumbell rack when you're done. Two exceptions to this rule:
    a) you can leave 135 on half of the bench presses. So if there are 4 bench press stations, and two of them just have empty bars, when you are done you can leave 135 on yours. If two of them already have 135 on them and are not in use, you have to put your weights back.
    b) same as above except for squat racks

    2. No fucking cell phones. The exception to this rule is if you are a firefighter or EMT or police or something, and you have to show proof of employment once a month in order to be the exception. We don't need to hear "yeah brah, i'm at the gym. Nah dude, I'm doing bench press right now. Yeah, I totally fucked that bitch last night. Dude she was hot. Hang on I have to do another set." No. Your membership is revoked, fucker.

    3. You may do one exercise in the squat racks, and I'll give you a hint; it's not fucking curls. There is one exception to this rule: If all of the squat racks are empty, you may do shrugs in one of them. This is because maybe you're a monster who can shrug more than you can deadlift up to shrugging position, and we wouldn't want anyone doing shrugs on a Smith Machine. This is to make sure that anyone who wants to do squats is able to and doesn't have to wait for your retarded ass to finish doing whatever the fuck you're doing in the squat rack that isn't squats. What? You only have 10 sets of curls left and then you'll be done and I can do squats? I don't think so. Say there are three squat racks. Say one of them is in use. You may not do shrugs in a squat rack.

    Note about 3: there won't be a need to do deadlifts in the squat rack, because my gym will have deadlift platforms and bumper plates.

    4. If you drop a dumbbell, that's a warning. Do it again and you're gone. If you can overhead press the 120lb dumbbells, you can fucking lower them slowly so you don't drop them on someone's foot. You're stronger on the eccentric part of the movement anyway, so there's no fucking way you can press them but not be able to lower them.























    My gym would go out of business because it requires doing math, being considerate, and being responsible.
     
  2. TZ

    TZ Banned

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    allthatshitbyyou.jpeg

    if I had a gym, it would only have one rule

    SHUT UP AND SQUAT
     
  3. GilgaMesH

    GilgaMesH Active Member

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    ok then
     
  4. Neo95gt

    Neo95gt Guest

    man you're so fucking hardcore
     
  5. TZ

    TZ Banned

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    oh and 2nd rule

    SQUAT TILL YA PUKE
     
  6. BrownWalrus

    BrownWalrus New Member

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    can't drop weights? what is this, planet fitness? yea i understand that you don't wanna be hurting anyone, but seriously, i think there should be more exceptions to that rule.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Propose more exceptions. I'm open to suggestions.
     
  8. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

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    Rule #4 is ridiculous.
     
  9. GuOD

    GuOD mcflurry diet

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    my gym would have a 6'4 height restriction.

    fucking giants
     
  10. TZ

    TZ Banned

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    :ugh2: discrimination
     
  11. cavefish

    cavefish You ain't a crook son, you just a shook one

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    I like PurEvl's idea. In the front of the gym theres a bench with 315 on it. If you can't bench it you can't lift there :p
     
  12. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

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    I would do the opposite. If youre not at least 6 foot then youre not a man anyway so stay the fuck out.
     
  13. GuOD

    GuOD mcflurry diet

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    how many spotters do you get to help? :x:
     
  14. TZ

    TZ Banned

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    in :bowdown:

    but actually it should be deadlift 500+, as that is probably the better test of overall body strength :hs:
    and then i'd be out :(
     
  15. GuOD

    GuOD mcflurry diet

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    :gtfo:

    real men are 5'11
     
  16. Paintballny

    Paintballny New Member

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    I HATE it when people drop dumbells. My old gym would kick you out if you pulled that shit. If you can get them up.. you can put them down. Dropping them isn't just a safety hazard it also bends the dumbells and cause the bolts that hold the plates on to loosen up.
     
  17. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

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    I like this. unfortunately Im 15lbs short.
     
  18. TZ

    TZ Banned

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    :bowrofl:!!!!
     
  19. BrownWalrus

    BrownWalrus New Member

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    I really don't have too, if i'm going to want to drop the weight because it's screwing up my shoulder or i feel an injury coming, and be afraid of getting a warning/suspension, forget it. That's ridiculous. Give some good reasons of why you shouldn't drop weights, besides injuring others (and most if not all people will be smart and do exercises such as those in a safer area) and hurting the equipment. That's not even good enough, equipment lasts a pretty long time. I'm not saying they should drop the weights 24/7, but if they do, don't even give them a warning, only start if you see them doing it a lot.
     
  20. ccrooks

    ccrooks New Member

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    controlled drops > tearing your shoulders apart as to not upset the person 3 benches away
     
  21. GuOD

    GuOD mcflurry diet

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    You should see the "big guys" in my gym. They grunt like crazy and drop the 60s from way up high. I dunno who they're trying to impress :ugh:
     
  22. ccrooks

    ccrooks New Member

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    and what if i use my cellphone as my mp3 player?
     
  23. TZ

    TZ Banned

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    :werd:

    sometimes i use my cellphone's timer , for an exercise such as planks I like to hold it for 30 seconds :bowdown:
     
  24. GuOD

    GuOD mcflurry diet

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    wtf? you use your cell phone as an mp3 player but you can't take pictures/videos? LIAR!! :squint:
     
  25. nwmrkt

    nwmrkt New Member

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    ..............................
     
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