I'd have never believed this would happen to me..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by VladTemplar, Mar 27, 2008.

  1. VladTemplar

    VladTemplar New Member

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    First up, I'm 21 (22 in June) and I've been single all the way through college. I graduate in May and the only thing I did was a couple nights with one girl, but we decided it wouldn't (it really wouldn't have) and went our separate ways. Beyond that I haven't even been out on a date. Spending 3 semester abroad also contributed to that.

    Right now, somehow, I've got two women I'm interested in and seem to be interested in me. I'm not suave, debonair, nor even all that good looking so how the fuck this happened is beyond me.

    So girl #1 goes by the name of Torie. She goes to my college, but she's a Freshman. Still got all those great bright eyed ideas of what she wants to do in college and whatnot (kinda makes me miss all that enthusiasm I had back then), but she's not simple. She dated a guy for the last 2 years of high school, but August of last year and the first weekend he was away at college he cheated on her and the broke it off. She's been single since, but apparently they hooked up again over Spring Break (a couple weeks ago). we've been on a date and it went well, but when I asked her out again she said she'd rather do it just as friends because of the complications with her ex. I've no idea what to do here.

    Girl #2 doesn't go to my school, but rather a local community college. Met her via MySpace actually, but she's extremely relaxed and I feel really comfortable around her.

    Girl #1 is by all means incredibly intelligent and certainly smarter than me in a number of areas. That sort of intellectual ability is huge to me and it's not something I've found a whole lot of. Her sheer conversational ability and the fact that she's got the same wit and sly humor that I enjoy make her incredible to me. I've just got no idea how to deal with the ex.

    The only problem with girl #2 is that between work and school she's pretty much busy all the time. We've talked a lot and it just seems no matter what we can't both have free time at the same time or at least not right now.

    Also, for what it's worth, classes end in 5 weeks and I move out of town in 8. Chances are that I'll be going to a school not too far away so a relationship, if created, could continue if we were both committed to it.

    I post this here because I've got little to no experience. I had a 'girlfriend' for 3 weeks in high school, but it really wasn't. I don't have a lot of dating experience, I don't know the social norms and whatnot of my school for dating (it's a conservative school, but I'm not all that conservative), and I just feel completely out of my element. I'm the guy that went to the library on Friday because I had stuff that needed to be done for Monday instead of going to the party.

    Help? :sadwavey:
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Focus on girl 2, why waste your precious time with the girl who just wants to be friends? This is assuming you are looking for a relationship.

    Also, girl number 2 is busy herself, so she would be more understanding of and could relate to your busy schedule.

    not to mention, girl number one is going to still be in school for awhile...
     
  3. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Well, girl number 1 isn't interested in you romantically... If you can be her friend and not let your emotions get in the way, then by all means be her friend.

    Girl number 2... if she's honestly busy, she's busy. I've had times in my life where I couldn't even see my friends and hardly saw my brothers or parents... but I mean, if she really wanted to make an effort to get beyond the platonic stages, I can only assume she would find the time to do so.

    I don't know these girls personally, so that's all I could get out of your posts.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Stop wasting your time on Girl 1. She's not over her ex and she's also specified she's not interested in you romantically. You are wasting effort and time on her if you keep trying to get her.

    I'd say to focus on Girl 2 but that would be retarded considering you are moving in 8 weeks. Stop focusing on having a relationship so much. Just go out, meet as many girls as possible and casually date. If you are moving starting a relationship is pointless.

    Edit: Next time, go to the party instead of the library. You're never going to meet women if you don't try.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2008
  5. VladTemplar

    VladTemplar New Member

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    I move in 8 weeks, not 8 months. I can't do casual relationships, I tried with that girl I hooked up with a couple times. I can't separate the emotions all that well.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    and you can't jump right into a serious romantic relationship, as it usually doesn't work that way

    serious relationship will start as a casual relationship

    baby steps. you've got to let things progress naturally
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I meant weeks.

    And yes you can have casual relationships, you just have to keep trying and learn to stop putting so much emotion into it. Otherwise you'rejust going to cling and marry the first girlfriend you ever get.
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    basically you are putting so many restrictions and rules in place that you are making it impossible to have a relationship or even date

    why? why are you doing this?

    none of these logistics and stuff matter
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If he can't get his emotions in check he'll forever be every girls emotional tampon.
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    find and read these 2 ebooks:

    Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo

    Without Embarassment: The Social Coward's Totally Fearless Seduction System by Mike Pilinksi
     
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    meh, i disagree. i started a relationship right before moving, and it's been working out fine. if you like the person, you like the person, and logistics aren't going to get in the way. :dunno:


    and there's nothing unique about me, or my situation. what's the worst that could happen? go for 2, and stop worrying about what's going to happen in 2 months.
     
  12. VladTemplar

    VladTemplar New Member

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    Yeah I'll just go with girl #2. She's more relaxed anyways and I don't feel like I have to watch what I say or anything. I'm completely myself with her.
     

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