I wouldn't come back to the Vag unless it really mattered...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sybian, Sep 18, 2007.

  1. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    So my ex (If you all followed my previous exploits you should know her) told me that she was raped by 3 men for 3 hours this past weekend today. Mind you this is a month and a half after we had reconciled and she moved back to her hometown.

    Needless to say I'm fucked up. I had moved on. New girlfriend and such, but I feel nothing but emptiness and rage.

    How do you deal with something like this? I told her that I'm here for her in any way that I can be but it feels like it just isn't enough.

    Ugh...
     
  2. b16

    b16 New Member

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    did she report?

    are you still stuck on her?
     
  3. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    I love her of course. That will never go away. But I was learning to live without her.

    Yeah. She called 911.
     
  4. Tiberium

    Tiberium Active Member

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    what's with all of these rape stories lately? seriously, these chicks need to stop acting sexy.
     
  5. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    Of course. And I told her that she would wind up in this situation if she didn't grab a hold of herself. I never wished this on her but now it has happened. And I'm completely fucked up over it.
     
  6. SiegG

    SiegG The real-life Dale Gribble

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    Offer to go to a support group or counseling with her. She very well may not take you up on it, but it will make you feel better and more useful, and show that you're there for her as a friend, giving her strength and hope.
     
  7. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i'd keep a comfortable distance. she's likely to attach unhealthily to familiar ground such as yourself, and that's the last thing either of you need.


    words of encouragement, and perhaps a little nudging if necessary, but no physical contact, nothing romantic, wistful. keep it platonic, sterile and control your emotions.
     
  8. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    That's pretty much what I did. I told her that I was there for her and that I would help in any way that she needed me to. Nothing physical can happen seeing that we are in 2 different states.

    It fucks me up because up until this point she was the only woman I had ever been with that hadn't been raped or sexually assaulted in some way. It sucks that this had to happen to her. It seems that this happens or will happen to every woman I date.
     
  9. HouseLing

    HouseLing When masturbations lost its fun you'r fucking lazy

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    dont start thinking like that. its not your fault.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hsugh: So she carries herself in a way normally that makes you think rape would happen to her eventually?
     
  11. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    Fuck off and leave you bitter bitch. You're not welcome in my threads.

    I know it isn't my fault. I just wish I could have been there to protect her.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :dunno: I was just asking, that's certainly what your sentence seemed to imply.

    And I'm bitter? hah
     
  13. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently

    Someone just cant handle the reality of things and its not you. :dunno:
     
  14. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    like it or not, certain behaviors will leave you susceptible to being taking advantage of. so yes, with a lot of people you can see it coming.


    i don't think it's clear what your objective was in making your original statement.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Really? I felt after the sentence of his I bolded that
    was pretty common sense. I was genuinely asking if he was saying she regularly puts herself in the position to get raped.
     
  16. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    not that it matters but 1 in 4 women will experience a sexual assualt in their lifetime. Either way you have to give up the one thing you never had. Control. Until you can do that you arent over her.

    Once I figured that in my last relationship everything went uphill.
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    What IWYWB was trying to ask is "what did she do to make you think this?"
     
  18. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    I offered her my assistance. Friendship, a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, whatever. I'm not sure she's going to take it though so I'm moving on... Again...

    My heart hurts because of the fact that this had to happen to someone I care about so much, but what else can I do?
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Exactly. He wrote his original sentence as if she puts herself in obvious situations where rape could happen. Like getting drunk and teasing with men, or whatever. Getting raped by 3 men though? Jesus. Has she told the authorities yet? And I have to ask, do you 100% believe her? I hate that I've heard stories of women who make up these stories in hopes of getting sympathy; in this case she's getting Sybian's affection again after he says he's moved on.
     
  20. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    hey sybian i dont mean this in a bad way but chances are (you'll have to look into it) that theres a certain psychological profile for victims of these kinds of things, and somehow you're attracted to them.
     
  21. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Your threads are not welcome in the Vag with this attitude towards its posters. Please zip it.
     
  22. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I'm sorry to hear this man.

    I am sorry for her, but also very sorry for you. I cannot imagine having to hear about this happening to someone I love. My ex g/f of 6 years whom I am still friends with lives in a part of Chicago that is somewhat known for girls getting sexual attacked, and the fact that she drinks (is a light-weight) and is way too nice/flirty to everyone worries me.... but i'm also overprotective.

    I guess all you can do is be there for her when she calls. Listen to her and offer support not advice.
     
  23. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    Its very difficult. I'm having a very hard time with it. The girls I dated that had this happen experienced it prior to any romantic involvement with me, so there is nothing I could have done. With her however I feel like I need to do something.

    I thought about this myself. This doesn't really apply to my ex though because this never happened to her. I can understand these women being attracted to me however because I am very kind and caring. Something that they may not be used to.

    I'm pretty sure she hasn't done anything about it yet since it only happened a few days ago. I know her though. She's tough and will try to pretend it doesn't bother her. I agree with you. She should go. Although, with girls I've dated in the past, therapy never really did much to help them.
     
  24. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Sybian do you somehow feel responsible for this act?
     
  25. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    professional help, be there for her as a friend, don't say "i told you so".

    when you hear a friend is raped, there is really only so much you can do.
    probably best you not get attached to her again (if you were thinking about it)
     

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