Anonymous email I got from the contact page on my website...I felt really bad and didn't know if I came off this way to you guys or not...sorry if I did...that's not who I am. I absolutely know that I would get my ass kicked by a trained guy in a "real" fight. BJJ is a beautiful sport where technique can overcome strength to a certain point. I will never have a guy's strength or natural athleticism with punches, kicks, etc. Where have I ever said that I wouldn't get my ass kicked? Yes, most males are larger. I compete in my weight division, which is middle for females but hobbit-sized for guys. I never went down a weight class or experience division so I don't know why everyone thinks that. That's the point of weight divisions, to make things fair in a SPORT. Which leads me to my next point. If one is in a street fight, self-defense, life-or-death situation fight, which I suppose is what you're calling a "real" fight, people gauge eyes, headstomp, bust kneecaps, and do whatever you can to survive. BJJ is a SPORT, a MARTIAL ART. I never said it was a real fight. But it's a lot of fun. Why don't I post videos or pictures of losses? I want to be a world champion one day. My website isn't for narcissism, I thought the whole idea was funny. But I'd like the opportunity to compete at the world's best tournaments and I need help, I'm not made of money. Therefore I put my wins out there and try to create the image of someone that sponsors would like to represent their brand. No one wants to sponsor a loser. No one wants to bring in a loser for superfights. That's all I want, just chances to compete and get better and I have to get my name out there somehow. Women are physically inferior. I am physically inferior to a male athlete of my weight and size. There is nothing natural or safe I can do to even the odds. It's how I was born and how I will die. Women are segregated from men in sports because we can't keep up. If this offends anyone, I'm sorry, but we are the physically weaker sex. Therefore, when a women (or in my case, girl) transcends this gender barrier and succeeds it's a big attention getter. I use my guy wins to try to set myself apart from the pack. In a world so driven by sexual attraction--a category where I fall short--I have to do something to get noticed. I lose. With women, I've got four. I was choked unconscious, gassed and had my guard passed, swept, and armbarred ferociously by talented ladies! They all deserved it, none were controversial calls, and it happens. I'm not Rickson. The more I chase tougher competition, the more I will lose. But that doesn't concern me. I want to be a good black belt one day, not a good purple belt. I want my coaches to be proud of me. With guys, I'm 9-8. I advertise that I'm 9-8, not that I've got nine wins. The losses are right there. I got the shit choked out of me, armbarred, triangled, etc etc. I can't remember for sure but I'm almost positive every single one of my male losses was by submission. You know why? Because I met someone of my technical ability who is more physically adapted to sports. The 9 wins were when technique prevailed. As time goes on, I will win fewer and fewer matches against males, if any. At this point, the technique is neck and neck and strength plays a much larger role. Will I stop competing against guys? Nope, probably not. I just want mat time--I only entered those male divisions when I went a long way and got one match with girls. Every day I train, I get beaten up. I tap, tap, and tap. White belt through black belt. I've gotten to visit and train with amazing people on the good graces of friends and wonderful people in jiu jitsu. Without them, I'd be nowhere. I do my best to thank everyone that's helped me but apparently I've not done a good enough job. I truly, truly appreciate anyone who's been in my life and especially in my jiu jitsu career, which I hope continues to grow. Everyone I meet helps me and beats me up effortlessly. It's because of them I have a few competition wins, not because of anything I could have ever done on my own. I'm a baby in this sport and in life, I only want to learn and grow. I'm sorry if I've appeared in any different light to anyone else.