FRK I want to be a Dom

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BrokenHalo, Dec 14, 2004.

  1. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    So I'm into all that kind of stuff, but I mostly like being a sub. (To clear things up a bit, this isn't something that me and the SO do all the time, but its something I like to dabble in occasionally depending on the mood.)
    However I would love to try being a Dom once in a while, but unbelievably, I can't seem to get up the courage.
    So anyone thats a seasoned Master/Mistress out there, could you give me some pointers on how to make the switch over a little less embarassing for me/ easier for him to handle? :noes:
     
  2. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Okay, you're not really talking about being a Dom or a sub. People don't 'dabble' in BDSM. Usually when Doms and subs are discussed, it's a way of life and an on-going relationship. Well-respected Doms often apprentice to learn their craft...and believe me, it is a craft. I watched a friend of mine work on my cousin. He was poetry in motion as he whipped her.

    What you're really talking about is topping....
     
  3. GND

    GND BBP! OT Supporter

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    so you want to "SWITCH" ??

    BDSM can be a dabble as for play, but then there are people who have it as a part time thing, the ones who live it 24/7 and then there are the professionals who make money off of you.

    Sionell- is pretty much right on about the Top part. There's a difference between being Dom/Sub vs being a Top/Bottom. Granted most Doms are Tops.
     
  4. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    For me, being submissive is a personality trait and a HUGE part of everything I do. I cannot imagine taking the upper hand. But then Im absolutely not everyone. :)

    Why is it you'd like to switch? Curiosity? Partner interest? Deep rooted budding dominance that you just have to try out? I think that knowing the answer to those questions first will help us give you some ideas as to where to start..if at all.
     
  5. easeupoffmynuts

    easeupoffmynuts MVP OF SUCK

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    i went to a black rose society meeting once kinda got me into it
     
  6. videogrl

    videogrl Guest

    I have a friend who is a "switch" she is currently in a relationship but her dom will let her be dom over other women letting her bi-curious side come out. I'll be honest I don't understand it. Because I feel that your character traits that pin point if your a dom or a sub. Like Sionell said once you are in the life style its exactly that a life style.

    But I can see though wanting to dabble in it. For my self I can't get into being completely submissive to my SO. Call me a hippie but I am huge into equality and some of the things I am not comfortable with that is involved in the life style. But I do like knife play, light bondage, and wax play which could be called forms of the lifestyle. So, from my experience I guess you can "dabble", but I would never say I was into bdsm or I was a dom or a sub. I think with the way sexuality is now there are many that want to expirement with it all plus we have so many ways to get info that wasn't available 10-20 yrs ago.
     
  7. videogrl

    videogrl Guest

    oh yeah this site can be kinda wierd and there are interesting people in there check it out they might help you.

    its www.adultchatnetwork.com then type in bdsm_realm for the room name..... its a chatroom

    (ps though I think a lot of middle aged people hang out in it) You can get some info probably to help or if all else fails a great pyschological experiment. :biggrin:
     
  8. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    I'm curious, plus I see the pleasure he gets out of being in control of me. Quite possibly deep rooted dominance but I'm just not sure how to out it.

    I believe that you don't have to be a "full time" dom or sub. Granted I know that there are people who are, but thats not what I'm interested in right now. Perhaps later... if it turns out I like to be dominate.

    But if there are people who "dabble" in bisexuality, homosexuality, role-playing, bondage, etc., then why can't there be people that dabble in BDSM? Just wondering why the harsh responses.
     
  9. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    This is the way I see it. People like to experiment in damn near everything now because the views on sexuality have changed drastically.
     
  10. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    I have seen relationships where the bottom and/or submissive would occasionally, with permission swap roles with their top and/or dom. It's not that uncommon.

    For me, I like to consider myself a switch. I was exclusively submissive for many years and like you I never felt I had the courage to dominate someone else. Then I spent some time with a very experienced player who showed me that it takes more courage to be the bottom and that really you are the one in control of the scene more than the top is. After I came to understand that I had the power all along it was easy to take control.

    There's a very interesting book called "Topping from below" that you might like to read.
     
  11. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    Im sorry if my response came across harshly. It was not my intention. :) I was just trying to get a more clear idea of what you were thinking. Dabble away! :)
     
  12. dmora

    dmora Guest

    I was going to say... Most doms dont say, "I want to be a dom". Their self assuredness would give a response more like, "I am a dom." or something to that effect.
     
  13. Intro

    Intro New Member

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    im pretty sure she doesnt want to be a contiouse "dom" just a temporiary "dom", and see what it likes,
    to answer your question i honestly think that he'll have no problem handling it, unless he wants to be the full time "dom", but how you make it sound theres no set rules, so id suggest just telling him (since you want to be the "dom") what you want to happen. and if you're embarrased about asking him then i beleive you'll have a hard time being the " dom".
    hope that helps.
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm seeing a lot of responses re: semantics of "BDSM." What are people's opinions on the matter of this person not having the courage to be a dom? Is it possible that it is impossible for this person ever to be a dom because they are intrinsically submissive?
     
  15. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    Ok, lets get something straight here, I'm not actually a sub, in the sense that most of you are thinking. Some of you have the correct idea of what I'm doing here. Normally, when my SO and I "roleplay" he takes control. Its not something we do on a regular basis, and its not something that is carried outside of our bedroom (or living room/kitchen :naughty: ) So we aren't a "true" D/s couple. I just brought the idea up to him to try it out for a little while, meaning that everytime we have sex, thats the way we do it. I find it exciting to be dominated, but I am also curious about how it feels to dominate someone else. I see how much he enjoys having control over me, and I want to experience the same thing.

    Last night was the first night that we actually tried the more serious stuff, we're both still kinda getting used to the idea. Before it was just sort of a playful thing where he might slap my ass or choke me a little, but it was never really full on. But he's getting the idea and I've pointed him in the direction of some good reading that might ready him for a more dominant position.

    AND... I've also brought up the idea of me being dominant to him. He likes the idea and thinks that it would be fun to switch every once in awhile.

    Getting back to the point of this thread, I was just hoping for some ideas on how to get myself started on that track, but since starting this thread, I've read some other people's experiences and some stories, and I have the perfect idea of how I'm going to do this. I really wasn't looking for you guys to analyze whether or not I could do this.

    So for those of you who did help me out, thank you.

    I'm done with my rant now :hs:
     
  16. videogrl

    videogrl Guest

    Good Luck sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It sounds like ya'll are just a fun loving couple that likes to exiperment. I have done it w/ my SO. But, I have not been able to dominate him as much as he would like with out making us both crack up. But I was doing a show were a girl had to tie up the guy and I learned some great tricks on tying him up b/c before he would get out of them. Take all four arms, legs and lay him out across the bed then tie him up. I used belts and scarfs. Then take ice or even if you want to try it a candle, but one that is not died or scented. Those hurt more. Just let you imagination go wild.

    Do tell I am curious what you have in mind already. Well much luck to you. :wiggle:
     
  17. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    You have it correct Vid, thanks for being a sweetie :) Yeah, I laughed a little last night, which got me slapped, but it was all good. Tying him up might be a bit of a hassle because he's a little leary of me sticking things up his butt :eek3: :rofl:

    I don't know if I can share that much yet, until it happens, because he also belongs to this forum and I don't want him to know what I'm up to.

    But I can tell you that I've been reading stories from FairyTat and I've also read some stuff on literotica.com and I've gotten some good ideas on what to do. So if you need some inspiration, may I suggest those 2 sources.

    Thanks again for the wish of luck and I'll let you know how it turns out. Or if you're really interested in hearing what I might be up to, you can pm me ;)
     

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