SRS I want him back--

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Eosdigital, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. Eosdigital

    Eosdigital New Member

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    So I use to date this awesome guy, but we broke up about a year ago. I felt like I was falling for someone else and didn't want to cheat on him emotionnally and instead of taking the time to calm down and talk it out like I should have, I was afraid and ran away. I dated the other person, ended up missing him all the time, but I thought it was due to the fact that it ended up too quickly. After like 5 months I end up my relationship because it didn't lead anywhere.
    Then my Ex wants me back, and I want him too, but it doesn't work out because I'm too afraid to jump in the relationship and because I feel like I'm still mad at him (he dated one of my friends after we broke up and that was painful). So things really don't work out and we end up stopping seeing each other. I acted like an ass because I was so afraid and unprepared and made him very sad, then again I felt as if it wouldn't have worked between the two of us. At that point I was still convinced we'd end up together someday because our relationship was too special.

    Few months later I talk to him, I had time to think and I want to see him again. Turns out he has a girlfriend. We talk a lot, I miss him like crazy, but he's in love and says it wouldn't be a good idea to see me again.

    We continue talking, few weeks later he sends me a message telling me he misses me too. We see each other, everything is so perfect, but he's still with the other girl. We met a couple of times. Last time he slept at my place. He told me he doesn't know what to do. He told his girlfriend about us, and he doesn't know who he'd like to end up with. He says everything was going so well with his girlfriend...

    I just don't know what to do. I love him so much and everything is so special with him, I can't believe we weren't made for each other. But I feel so far away, I feel like he could forget about me anyday. I want to give him space but I care so much it's hard. What if he forgets about me? What if he forgets how it is when we're together?
    I've been there, and I know he probably feels like it's easier to stay with his girlfriend because he knows what to expect. I just don't want him to stay with her just for that. I know that if it's just that, he'll have regrets and may miss me afterwards, but I can't tell him, because of course my opinion is biased! But I don't know, he may really be in love with her... What if he loves her more?

    Anyone knows what I should do, how I should act? I feel so lost...
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2008
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You'll both most likely never work out. This is where the quote started "don't know what you've got til it's gone."

    You should have respected him and his new gf and left him alone. He said he was happy but of course you got jealoius that he was happy with someone new and expected he should only love you, well life doesn't work out like that always.

    While you are selfish and don't see it this way, the fact that he would cheat on his gf for you does not show that he truly loves you :rolleyes: it shows he's a prick who when tempted enough has no problem cheating on the woman he supposedly "loves."

    Get over yourself. If you were "perfect" for each other you would have never left him in the first place. You would have worked out the second time and he would have dropped his current gf at the drop of a hat for you. How can he forget about you when you don't leave him alone?

    If he really loved you and wanted you to work (and if you truly wanted the both of you to work) you would cut contact with him. He needs to dump his gf because he wants to, not because he's just confused with you fucking with his head as well. You need to take time apart from each other and if he comes to you and you are ready then you can try to actually date again.
     
  3. macbook bro

    macbook bro Guest

  4. Minh Lam

    Minh Lam Active Member

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    EOS digital. Damn it. You need a lot of growing up. You couldnt work things out with your ex and you went with another guy but then you expected him to stay single? Instead you got angry because he dated your friend when he was available?

    Honestly Who do you think you are. Grow up please and dont play mind games.

    You arent made for each other. Your problem is you are selfish and you want what you dont have. Havent you noticed? Grass isnt always greener on the other side.

    As I said. Grow up and learn to control your emotions and be more courteous of other peoples feelings
     
  5. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    whoa. :eek3:

    for starters, communication is key. it seems as though the two of you have better communication now than when you "ran away." good for you for not cheating on him emotionally, but you're right in that you should've talked to him about it. :sad2: however, the past is the past.

    :uh: i'm disappointed in that you let him stay over at your place when you knew he had a girlfriend. the only thing you can do is let him know how you feel. you need to give him space to let him decide, but only he can do that. you can't make him break up with his girlfriend, and he very well may choose to be with her. that's life, you gotta learn to roll with the punches, and accept them for what they are... learning experiences.

    so while i think it's important to have that one last phone call and tell him that you would love to start over, i think that you need to stop all contact with him afterwards.

    believe me when i tell you that i've been there, and it's not fair to either of you to have the constant contact when you still care highly for him. it's not going to help you heal whatsoever. [i know, i know, :( you want him back. you don't want to heal.] you gotta be logical about this though. if he really wanted you back, wouldn't he have dropped the other girl in a heartbeat when he found out you still cared about him and wanted him back? :dunno:
     
  6. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    It's too late now, but here's some advice for the future: communicate, stop the games, and quit being jealous he dated someone else after you dumped him :hsugh:
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You are a prisoner of your fears

    Always go for GOLD in life.And do not let your actions speak of irrational and absurd fear, what is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that. Cast off your fear! Look forward! Go forward! Never stand still. Retreat and you will age. Hesitate and you will die

    Don't stop yourself from being happy, you are your own worst enemy when it comes to living your life happyness. Allow yourself to be happy. Just go for it and if it doesn't work out , you can at least say to yourself that you tried everything you could, that way you can't blame yourself for not trying.

    Do not expect leperchauns to appear and solve your issues, do not wait, be the dictator of your own life and take the situation in your own hands.

    There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn't matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

    If change was just a thought, then anyone could do it. But reality is that you can't just sit around feeling miserable for yourself and the situation you are in while being punched in the face by the reality of life. Those thoughts of change, can't become real if you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, if you want to change then why would you stay in a state of paralyzation? If that happens it means you do not want to change, you are simply waiting for the world and people to change around you as you see fit, therefore

    Without walking, there's no way to move forward, you'll just end up waiting.


    Remember , No Guts No Glory!!! make sure you get glory!

    Just go for it!!. :coold:
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    You'll never be happy if you keep waiting around for him. Even if he does get back together, you'll have built up an idealized image of him, and when he doesn't meet it, you'll be crushed.

    Oh, and he slept at the house of a girl who still wants him, WHILE HE HAD A GF! Think about that....he could just as easily do that to you if he got back with you.

    How long are you going to put your life on hold to wait for him?

    It's been a year. It's over, accept it and move on.
     
  9. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    EXACTLY

    i also dont think that you really want him back, you just want him cause he doesnt want you AND you dont have someone else. it takes time to move on from a relationship, so you jumping into a new one right after breaking up with him didnt let you get over him, it just distracted you for a while. you need to spend some time single to move forward. this guy is not perfect for you. if he was, you would be together right now, you never would have left him.

    remember why you broke up with him. its not just because you liked another guy, its the reason you even felt the need to look outside your relationship. something was missing. you were not getting everything you wanted and needed from him, and nothing will have changed, he is still the same guy you broke up with.

    so just leave him be. he knows how you feel, and if he wants you he will know where to find you. let HIM decide. and if he chooses to stay with her, you have to accept it. and learn from it. if you truly love someone, dont leave them for another guy
     
  10. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Why did you break up with him in the first place if you were "made for each other"?

    If he was so awesome why did you leave him for someone else?
     
  11. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    You two sound very young. Most people don't know what they want when they are in hs/college.
     
  12. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You had your chance. I'm sorry you blew it, but you did and there's no going back.
     
  13. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I dont even have to read the thread to know how to respond:

    NO YOU DONT.
     
  14. Eosdigital

    Eosdigital New Member

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    I just want to specify a couple of things - when he stayed over at my place he weren't with his girlfriend anymore, he had dumped her. But he still wants to take some time for himself to see what he really wants. I just noticed how I really wasn't clear about that part of the story when I wrote it.

    Also, I don't want to go back with him because I was jealous he had found someone else. I called him back because I had time to think and to decide what I really wanted and realized I did things wrong and I wanted to be with him. I found out he was dating someone afterwards.

    We're not seeing each other anymore. He needs some time to be alone. I know he knows how I feel, so I'll respect the space and time he needs, even if it's really hard.

    Some of this thread replies were like a slap in the face but I wanted advice and opinions and I got them. So, without any sarcasm, thanks for answering guys.

    And btw some of you asked about our age: I'm 23 and he's 25, if that helps.
     

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