SRS I thought of something I wanted to share... i can't stand mature people.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Exiled, May 13, 2008.

  1. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    In the sense of the way they "Act".

    Im 26, most of my closest freinds are much older than me because in high school I hung out with an older crowd. A handful of them I still go out with from time to time and a handful I just lost contact with. I think pretty much all of my freinds are married and have kids.. im the only one of my freinds who has no kid and supports himself and nobody else.

    Im responsible, and so are all of my close freinds.. we all look out for ourselves (in my case) and our families (in their case) but when we get together, or when we visit, have a barbecue, talk on the phone.. a drink.. anything... we're down to earth people..


    I hung out with an old freind of mine the other day.. and he totally changed.. was a stone cold face guy who almost seemed affraid to be himself.. he was just this "mature responsible adult"..

    I dont ever want to hangout with him again, and he made me realize, I know a lot of people like him.. who I dont hangout with.. it's pathetic to me.. to act like that, I know plenty of people (myself included) who are very responsible and candid, business professional people at times but to me.. keep that shit away from me.. I hate it, I hate the people who act like that and it's part of the reason I switched jobs to working outside... I can't stand the fake ass bullshit..

    the "We'll touch base" type of shit...

    Hell, that is so middle-something i think.. I know some wealthy people that just.. make me sit in awe at how much money they make, the lifestyle they have.. the vehicles they own.. (all my dads freinds) and they are all the realest motherfuckers you'd ever meet. These fake people seem to originate somewhere and I can't quite define it or pin it..

    That kind of stuff bother you at all? :hsugh:
     
  2. dura

    dura Guest

    It's kinda strange, but I notice this happening with me. I took leave after being deployed for 9 months and wasn't the same around my old friends/family when I came back. I just didn't feel comfortable or at all like my old self. After a week of seeing them I began to loosen up. I am fine when it comes to people I see on a daily basis. I think it simply had to do with being disconnected for so long. I have more responsibility than ever now, yet I don't think it's the reason. Give your buddy some time to unfold and see how he is.
     
  3. Malkavian Star

    Malkavian Star New Member

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    I think I know what you mean.
    I'm the same age as you and I too always had friends that were older than me.

    Many of my friends have changed the same way.

    I hate it too, but I guess even good friends drift apart.

    Now I have friends that are younger than me and I'm a happier around them than my old ones.
     
  4. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I definitely wouldn't say "mature" is the word to use in that situation.

    But yeah, those fake types of people are always a pain to hang out with. They are usually the ones who can't keep any friends either.

    He probably just seemed fake because you haven't seen him in a while. He's still a human and I'm sure he likes to laugh and be goofy just like anyone else.
     
  5. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    My best friend and I were really good friends with a girl who turned into that. We don't speak anymore. The most frustrating part is remembering how cool she used to be and how much fun we use to have. Now she just sucks to be around. Even her husband can't stand her. She's so fake now its maddening to even think about.
     
  6. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I don't understand what you mean by "fake"?
     
  7. hsugh knight

    hsugh knight Guest

    can you give some more examples?
     
  8. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Bump... Please explain more... I don't understand what you guys mean by the word "fake". I'm afraid I have trouble keeping friends like Socrates said, but I don't want my friends to think of me this way... I like having fun and hanging out, or going out to lunch or something, but most friends I know never call me up. I try to call them up and say hi and say we should hang out go to lunch or a ball game or something and then tell them to let me know what day and time they are available but they never call back.

    I am just trying to understand what you mean by "fake" so I can avoid being labeled like this by my friends.
     
  9. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    vysion, i can relate to that
     
  10. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    "maturity" is the beginning of death.
     
  11. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I thought the beginning of death was being conceived. :dunno:
     
  12. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Sorry Vysion! :wavey:

    So, as for my former friend acting "fake"... essentially, she tries to act like someone she's not. Problem is, she's not a very good actress. She tries very hard to look and act like she's better than everyone around her, including her husband. :ugh: Maybe it works a little better with people who didn't know her before she became this entirely different person, I don't know. I do know, however, that she doesn't have friends anymore because of it though. She LOVES to talk about how its not her fault that she's so much more mature than other people our age (25 btw) because she has a husband and a career and a house. When you invite her to go out and do something fun, she scoffs at the idea because that's not what "mature" adults do.

    Short list of how she acts now that she's "mature":

    Her family has always had A LOT money. For as long as we were friends (about 10 years) she absolutely hated it when someone would bring it up. She was always very humble about her family and her upbringing. Now, she she brings it up as often as she can, in every way she can think of.

    She tells her husband that he isn't as smart as she is and how he'll never be as successful as her dad.

    She won't hang out with her husband's friends because they're not "her class" of people. BTW, her and her husband grew up in the same town, had the same friends and went to the same places. Now, she doesn't like him hanging around with any of them.

    She's now become impossible to talk to because every conversation with her is like trying to pull hen's teeth. Its so awkward, it's almost physically painful to listen to. Its like talking to someone you've only been introduced to 5 minutes earlier who is only giving you one word answers. When you do get her to talk, it comes across as very condescending. When she talks about herself, she'll look you in the eye and tell you about her fabulous life and fabulous husband and fabulous job- then you talk to her husband and he tells you the truth... the disparity is astounding.

    Its so so sad. She's turned into her mom. I don't know what happened to her, but she's obviously really unhappy. My best friend and I talk about how we miss the "old Kathy" all the time. I haven't heard her laugh once in the past 5 years. She used to be the funniest, most kind person I knew. Now, she tries to act like she's got her whole life together, that everything is perfect and that she has money coming out of her ears. Then you hear the way she talks to her husband and her parents and it makes your stomach drop.

    One of the worst parts is that my best friend and I were really good friends with her husband too (we were all friends for years before they started dating) and now he's so depressed. He was amazing before they started dating. Now he hides from all his friends and doesn't want to talk to anyone. He's embarrassed of his life and who he's become.

    I'm not sure that this is the same kind of "fake" that others are talking about :dunno: But its lame and sucky.
     
  13. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    maybe she's hiding something under all that "my life is perfect" persona. maybe it really isn't all that great, she just wants to keep convincing herself (and ppl around her) it is.
     
  14. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    It sounds like she is more "stuck-up" than "fake"...
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Think car salesmen, except in a social situation rather than a business situation.
     
  16. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I find that younger people who are "extremely mature" for their age, often come from difficult backgrounds, including but not limited to alcoholism, sexual abuse, violence and other forms of dysfunction.
     
  17. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    It actually sounds like she's severely depressed.
     
  18. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I think the type of person Lucky Penny described is very similar to what the OP was shooting for.

    It's the people who you used to party with who now say "I'm above that now."

    If you're in the mall with this person and you see someone trip and fall, he just sits there stone faced while everyone else laughs.

    It's basically the type of person who one day decided they don't have the inner child in them any more and now they must appear to be professional and grown up all of the time. All business, no pleasure.
     
  19. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    In your case, it could be a number of things.

    Maybe you're overly negative and pessimistic about situations.

    Maybe you often say stuff like "I'm bored" or "This sucks, lets leave."

    On the other hand, maybe you just laugh and smile with whatever is going on and don't really offer your own opinion at all.

    Maybe you never really say anything original at all, but only respond to the stuff they say.

    Maybe you seek approval too much and they can pick up on it.

    People want to hang out with people who are fun. By being fun, I mean cracking jokes on each other, being goofy, not caring what people think, doing interesting activities, and making people feel good about themselves.

    I have no idea what you're like in person, so these and just some random guesses that I think would make people not want to hang out with someone.
     
  20. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    This is the most likely of them all... I'm not very "creative" when it comes to small talk, or joking around talk.

    I'm trying to get better at inserting my own opinions when hanging out with people. But I don't know how to come up with original things that others would laugh about or talk about. I think it is hard for others to follow my sense of humor. I'm trying to work on all that though.
     
  21. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    All right, comedy is one thing I know! I'm always the clown of the group.

    A lot of the times I make people laugh, it's just from quoting movies. Last night I was drinking and playing pool at the bar I work at, and the doorman had to deny some minors entry to the bar. I used my pool stick as a staff and walked up to the door and in my best Gandalf voice yelled "Youuuu shalllll notttt paaassss!!!!" ---- I thought it was hilarious, and so did all of the door guys and waitresses. Hahahaha that still makes me laugh. There was a couple who haven't seen Lord of the Rings, so they didn't get it. Oh well.

    Haha, or quoting Joe Dirt is always fun. If your friends jokingly talk shit on you, hold up your fists and say "Is this queer? Is this queer? You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? they don't like no feed back, what's up?"

    Haha

    I don't know, I just really like quoting movies. Everyone loves movies!
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2008
  22. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    You absolutely hit the nail on the head. That's exactly what it is. I know she's hiding behind this new "persona" of hers. I'm sure she's really unhappy. It'd be great if we could help get her out of this weird thing she's created for herself- but not only does she continue to push us away every time we to talk to her, she's now become the biggest energy-suck I've ever meet. Just being in her presence leaves you mentally exhausted. :hs:
     
  23. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Ya know, I really don't think that's a bad thing :dunno: Its just the way you are. I think you just need to find people who enjoy that kind of personality trait. Personally, I really appreciate people like you because when you do have something to say, it's usually worth listening to.

    My bf has that same laid back, take it all in, quiet personality. I adore it. :love: Not only is he the Yin to my boisterous Yang, he's wicked smart and a fantastic listener. My favorite part of telling him a story is waiting for his response, because I know its going to make me think in a way I hadn't before. He's very quiet around people he doesn't know really well, but when he's comfortable he opens up and is super funny, if you understand his humor.

    Le sigh :love:
     
  24. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    I'm almost 34 and still like to cut loose and act like a kid once inawhile :hsd: Act giddy on occasion, stay up til ungodly hours on a weekend night playing video games, kicking a soccer ball around with some of the neighborhood kids (having a greenbelt next to the house FTW) or doing silly things to make others laugh.
    It does the soul some good. If enjoying life in that sense makes me immature, so be it. I've learned over many years to stop giving a shit what others think :)

    You can be mature and responsible but still joke around and or make a fool of yourself and laugh about it. There is a time and a place for everything, but there are few times/places, in my opinion, to have the stiff upper lip. I feel I am mature in that I can hold down a job, keep my bills paid, take care of my family and help others in need, and maintain positive relationships with the people in my life :dunno:
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2008
  25. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    There's a lot of people who wear 'masks', its a public facade.

    The reason is simple, people often aren't liked for who they are so in order to function in a certain enviroment they have to pretend to be someone who they are not. Have a look at the golf club , these people aren't neccessarily evil or anything but they all start wearing the same clothes, expensive cars, bragging about this and that, a complete theater but why? the atmosphere demands it. And people feel like they need to live up to certain standards and some individuals will sacrifice their own personality in order to 'fit in'.
     

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