"I think we can make it work..."

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kalypso, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    Why does everyone have this mentality with every fucking relationship they are in? It can't just be ignorance, people can't be that ignorant overall. I've known people in the worst relationships possible, and the one getting the shit end of the string is saying "But I love him/her, I think we can make it work, blahblahblahblah."

    This mentality is, by in large, extremely harmful. It's what gets incompatible people married. It's what keeps people who at their core are completely wrong for each other in a 3 year relationship. "But we have to make it work!"

    No. You really don't. 'Failing' at a relationship is not only normal, but completely acceptable, there are very few people in the world you'll really be compatible with, and as soon as someone proves they aren't that one, why should you stay with them instead of finding something better?

    I especially see this in people that 'Fall in love' early in the relationship and think their partner is 'the one' for stupid reasons that often amount to nothing more than desire to be in a relationship.

    Why are people so susceptible to this mentality, of having to save every relationship they are in?
     
  2. ryckmonster

    ryckmonster New Member

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    i wonder about this shit my self, and i'm one of em...
     
  3. area man

    area man New Member

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    Because it isn't easy to find people who we are even remotely compatible with. Some people seem to think they'll never find anyone else if they don't rough it out. This is often true with a 'first love' or first relationship. People also get used to the other person, they get comfortable. In the short term, it often seems harder to separate than to do what makes logical sense.

    I am a few hours removed from the end of a relationship that had no hope for a while, but we tried to keep things alive for as long as possible. I KNOW that this is the only option but its still a fucking painful experience. Its hard to let the logical side of my mind overcome the attachment I feel.

    Both emotional attachment and sexual desire combine to be a pretty powerful tag team to keep people together. Plus people are often financially invested in a marriage or living situations. "let make it work" is not always the worst thing to do. Personally I feel marriage is the agreement to say that for as long as reasonably possible, especially with kids involved.. but that's a whole 'nother issue right there.
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I firmly believe that "making it work" entails not allowing shit to get fucked up in the first place.
     
  5. cantthinkof1

    cantthinkof1 New Member

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    There is a big difference between people who just say "we'll make this work," and those who say "we'll make this work" and actually do it. Everyone struggles, but people just need to be able to admit when things obviously aren't going to work and not drag things out, or make the necessary changes so that things get all better. (I'm not saying change for someone else, just more a personal evolution sort of thing) Some (not all) can make it work and the struggles will bring them closer, but more times than not, like the posters above me said, it's because they people just aren't compatible.
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Barring any huge divergence in core values or intelligence, any relationship CAN work, at least in the beginning. But yeah, once you've fucked it up its generally fucked for good.
     
  7. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I agree with the core thought of this, but I have to address the idea of "not allowing shit to get fucked up." You're implying that in a relationship, control must be exerted by one force or another to "force" things from going off track.

    You have to remember, there are some things in life you just can't control, and you can't control the other person you're in a relationship with. If they do something to fuck up the relationship, that's it. You have to take it as it comes. Same goes if another external factor changes your relationship, you just have to deal with it happening, if it does happen.

    So yes, I would agree that SELF control is very important in the effort to "not allow shit to get fucked up," but it ends there. All you can really be responsible for is yourself and your own actions -- and realize that all actions have consequences; some good, some bad.
     

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