LGBT I think my step brother is gay

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by tuner, Jul 5, 2004.

  1. tuner

    tuner I know you're thinking bacon and eggs.

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    And I want to ask him. How do I approach? Just ask? I'm not really close to him cause I don't visit my dad much or my fathers side of the family for that matter. But they keep asking me, like if I know... What to do?
     
  2. Notorious R.I.E.

    Notorious R.I.E. Queen Bee

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    I wouldn't worry about it don't ask at all. If he is he will tell you and everyone else when he is ready to. He may not be ready for everyone to know this about him and asking him before he is ready may put him on the defensive....
     
  3. tuner

    tuner I know you're thinking bacon and eggs.

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    That is what is keeping me from asking, but there are times where it seems that he wants to say something, but doesn't out of fear that my dad would kick him out (he's like 17-18 and they spoil him).



    The other day at my dads shop when I came by for a few mins, he was there talking on his cell phone. I went in the back to work on my cars engine in the back corner of the shop. My step bro came by to see what I was doing. His cell phone rang and I could hear him talking some dood. He walked outside the shop area to where I could see and hear him but away from my dad. I overheard the conversation and he kept asking him, "Why did you change the phone number..." blah blah blah "stop being a lil bitch and give me the number" blah blah blah "Your an asshole" blah blah blah "I’m going to stop calling you" blah blah blah more argumentative conversation and it ended with him saying "I need you to tell me that you love me" he said it, but I guess he didn't say it loud enough cause he asked him to yell it out and he did so that even I could hear it from inside the shop. I looked out the window at him and he looked back... he then said, "I'll call you back" and ended the call.



    Later, I was giving him a ride home when his cell rang. I guess he didn't like who had called him cause he said, "Here, take my phone and say I'm not here" So I answered "Dominoes pizza may I take your order..." Sounded like the same guy so I told him that he wasn't avaliable. He then said “Can I still order my pizza?”, I ended the call and gave him his phone back. I asked him if that was the same guy from earlier and he said yeah, but I don't want to talk to him. Our conversation ended there because I arrived at the house...
     
  4. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    Good advice. It should be his right to tell you if and when he's ready.
     
  5. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    Big no no. It should be up to him to tell you, and his decision. :) If he's too scared to tell people, then simply: he's not ready. :hs: Don't put him in a position he's not ready to handle. :)
     
  6. tuner

    tuner I know you're thinking bacon and eggs.

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    I C
     
  7. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    You can just drop hints, like... you know, if you have anything you want to tell me, I'm ready to hear it.

    Something like that... where he knows you have an open-mind.

    Other than that, I'd just wait for him to come to you. But, you need to let him know that you'd be cool with it (assuming you are cool with it)
     
  8. coma

    coma New Member

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    Whatever you do don't do what my brother did (to devastating effect). He used to always make "jokes" and comments about gays and was constantly ridiculing gay people and their lifestyle all aimed obliquely toward me in a wink wink fashion. He was also constantly dropping hints like was I ever called a fag and such bullshit. I wasn't out to him and still am not, but he certainly knows. What is particularily cruel is that he made those comments which were like a punch to the stomach everytime he made them. So we grew further and further apart or more accurately I am the one who put a distance between us. I have not seen him in 12 years because of this and I really don't care if I ever see him again because as far as I'm concerned he can shove it up his ass and go to hell. Oh yeah there was dysfunction in my family..lol
     
  9. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    wow, that really sucks :(. I've been luckier with my younger bro. He took it well and now and then its a low blow here and there. He one time pissed me off with a gay joke and i was like yeah why dont i just start with the fat jokes to you and see how you like it. And he got irritated until i finally told him to do us both a favor and eat my dick. That pretty much surprisingly broke the barrier down and we both laughed it off. That's about as bad as it has gotten. As for my older bro, hes teachin in Japan for a few years. Havent told him yet, really dont feel a need to at this point. If hes smart and he is, hes already figured it out :)

    Back to the main post, the advice previously stated seems to be the best. However it turns out, just always be there for him and be that shoulder he can lean upon
     
  10. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    Your post makes me wonder how my older bro is gonna take it. I don't suspect he'll care much.

    BTW, how was your date? My 4th was interesting...I went to a really ghetto club in SF and got hammered with some friends. Red Bull & vodka is an evil evil drink :nono:.
     
  11. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    my older bro is a big ol conservative but i think he'll be fine. We're a close knit family despite the distance that is gonna be coming between us next year ( he's in japan, i'll be in columbus, younger bro in north dakota, parents retire back to maui)

    The 4th of july date was good. It was never really a date. I've known Barry for a couple of months and there is chemistry but both of us have never acted upon it cause I'm moving in 10 weeks and we both have kickass times together. He set up the party to be like some big homo and faghag fest but turns out it was us homos and a group of hard rockers. Yet, the two groups of us mixed together quite nicely, and i saw my old boss there since her husband fronts the band. Lots of mutual friends made the party work. :)
     
  12. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    Cool! I have yet to go to a civilized party where the intent isn't to get hammered. Hopefully there'll be more opportunities for that now that college is through.
     
  13. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...yes, most definitely.

     
  14. Konowl

    Konowl New Member

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    Cedric your avatar is... a thing of beuty.
     
  15. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    they can happen anywhere at any age, especially with the homos. All depends on your friends and what kinda people they are. My friends are goodie goodies so we don't do stuff but one of them has bad taste in friends and i always hear the bitchin and drama :o
     
  16. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    yup! this guy is my definition of physical perfection.
     
  17. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    My friends tend to be typical straight guys, so I think civilized partying is still a few years off. At least there's rarely ever any serious drama. Who knows what'll happen when I enter the workforce though...
     
  18. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    I haven't read all the responses in this thread yet, so here is my unbiased opinion: don't approach him on it, unless he approaches you first. Coming out is a pretty big step in someone's life, and usually, it's much better if they decided when and where to come out, rather than having someone bring up the issue when they may not be ready to discuss it.
     
  19. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    After reading the responses and more information to the story, I was just about to post this. I agree with Sam 100%. Offer to be there for him if there is anything he would like to talk to about or if something is bothering him...."no matter what it may be - I won't pass judgement on you and I'm here to help."
     
  20. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    :wtc: That is sad. It's sad that something like sexual preference can become such a major wall between family and siblings.
     
  21. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    Agreed.
     

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