SRS I think my relationship is ending tonight

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Epicman, Jun 2, 2009.

  1. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. It's my first relationship...we've been living together for 3 months and been together for a year or so.

    On one hand, I'm sad because I don't know if I will be making a mistake or not. On the other, going back to being single and not having to explain anything to anyone seems like it will be a relief.

    I'm not in the mood for typing much.
     
  2. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    If you're not going to be completely devastated by it, it's probably a good thing.
     
  3. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    So what was it? Couldn't live together?
     
  4. PcH

    PcH Guest

    Lived together in your first relationship?
     
  5. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    It's a mix of things. She tends to take one bad situation and make it seems like it happens everyday. She also wants to spend every second together and I enjoy having some time alone. I'm not going to put all the blame on her though....when we have arguments I tend to just be quiet rather than saying things I'll later regret.

    And the worst is she wants sex everyday...up until this I always thought that would be a great thing, it isn't. And of course, when I'm not in the mood she takes it as me not finding her attractive. She needs to hear that I love her and find her attractive constantly. Which gets a bit tiresome.
     
  6. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    Thinking about it more and more is making me feel shitty. I was talking to my sis on the phone and when I was telling her what was going on I was getting really sad.
     
  7. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Sounds like my last relationship :hs:. Have you tried telling her you need alone time occasionally?
     
  8. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    <3 I :love: Epi :hug:

    I'm sorry you're going through this right now :hs:

    do what's right babe, not what's easy.
     
  9. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    Yes...it worked for a week.
     
  10. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    :hug:

    I just talked to her online. Told her I didn't want to talk online but she kept pushing. Makes me feel worse. Tonight is not going to be fun.
     
  11. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Yeah, that is miserable. It is a alot herder to hurt someone when they are still really into it, but you are not feeling it anymore. However, if you truly are feeling different, its in both your best interests to end it, but you already seem to know that. Doesn't make it any easier tho :hs:
     
  12. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    I just can't stand to her her cry. It fucking kills me. And I know she is going to cry tonight....I don't know if I'll be able to stick to my guns.
     
  13. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    sounds like you need some time apart.
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    it is ironic only in the fact that most relationships end because of too little of sex not too much sex. either way, good luck.
     
  15. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    No, most relationships end for other reasons and lack of intimacy is a result of those reasons.
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    uh except for the fact that lack of intimacy can BE the reason and not necessarily always be a result of those reasons :ugh:
     
  17. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    if you're not attracted to someone is one thing, then shame on you for going so far deep into a relationship with someone you're not "with".

    but this isn't about the lack of sex, so I digress.
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    it doesnt matter who the shame is on, what i said is still valid :rofl:

    and the thread starter said the amount of sex she wanted was annoying him which is the polar opposite of too little of sex which is the reason why i made that comment in the first place
     
  19. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Funny cause I was thinking it too- total switch from what we see in the Vag a lot. But really, it's the sex + her insecurities + her smothering that's blowing this out of the water. Be it a lot of sex or barely any sex, combine it with insecurity and dependency.. :rolleyes: Ugh. The relationship's fucked from the start.

    Absolutely!
     
  20. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    If you don't stick to your guns, then you will probably just end up back in the exact same spot you are now a little later on down the road. Only then you will have wasted even more time.

    It's supposed to feel like shit right now. Your lifestyle will be completely changing.

    Stick through the grieving period, and you'll thank yourself later on.
     
  21. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    When we started dating it was very difficult for me to understand 'me time'. My husband needed it and I was a very social person and hated being alone :mamoru:
    I saw it as him running away from me. That the only possible reason he could want me time was because he was sick of me and needed a break. He simply told me over and over again that he wasn't running away from me, but to himself.
    After the first few months where I had no idea about this 'me time' and thought he was just disinterested he finally told me. Then he started small and worked his way up. So he would leave a few hours earlier than normal each weekend rather than not come over at all. Until I was comfortable with him only coming over one day a weekend.
    However due to him having that me time it meant the next weekend he spent the entire weekend with me :big grin:
     
  22. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    Simply put, it sounds like the both of you have serious communication problems. Sounds like she cant understand the fact that sometimes, you just simply arent in the mood. The stereotype is that guys are always ready adn willing, and we should bow at a womans feet whenever they give us the opportunity to have sex with them. But the problem is also on you, with your inability to properly talk about your problems with her and discuss things to a point where you both reach a rational conclusion.

    My advice is to end it, it simply didnt work out with this one and the sooner you end it, the sooner youboth can start to eal and move on. But a word of advice before you start dating again, work on your communication skill. Talk with friends or even a really close friend, someone you can open up to and talk freely about your emotions. Another stereotype is that men dont have emotions, but tis simply not true.

    Work on being able to talk to and express your feelings opening and clearly to a significant other, or you will be doomed to failure with your next relationship as well.
     
  23. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    Well, when I got home last night we sat down and talked for several hours. We both said what was on our minds. She made valid points as did I. We decided we are going to work on the things that bother the other person. She will try not to get offended when I tell her that I want some me time and I will work on being more open and talking rather than keeping things quite.
     
  24. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Sounds like a Win-Win Situation :)
    If you have the communication you are more than half way to a great relationship :)
     
  25. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    well you're obviously going to feel pretty shitty about something like this.

    I'm moreso referring to utter devastation.

    Regardless, I think this is a good thing. This girl sounds very needy and there are guys out there who can reciprocate her neediness. She'd probably be more happy with a guy that's just as clingy.
     

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