SRS I think my friend just broke up with me.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Hootahz314, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

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    I'm not quite sure. He wanted me to purchase some illegal substances for him and hold on to it until he could come see me to get it (from my very distant past I know people and he wanted me to contact them after years of no communication just for this reason). I have a child in my home, I have respect for myself not to do that. It just screams stupid. I told him I wasn't going to do it, because I would be the one fucked in the end. Not him.

    What hurts the most is that I am losing my husband over drugs (among other things), I've already lost 1 friend over crack (I walked into her house one day to find her hittin the crack pipe in front of her 1 year old, the house was filled with smoke and the smell made me sick. The baby just sat there crying obviously with a contact buzz). Why doesn't he understand? I'm not doing this to be a Bitch to him, I'm doing it because A) I care about him..he's my friend and I don't want to see him lead a destructive life. B) There is no amount of money or respect I could get from him to make this worth it at all. The last email I sent to him I tried to explain that I am not doing anything wrong and that he's made me feel like the biggest piece of shit on Earth because I am doing the right thing for myself and for him. I just wish he would understand. He's my best friend in the world and for him I would end the friendship if that's what makes him feel better. Just so long as he knows how much I love him and care (which hopefully he does).

    It honestly seems to me like I've been given a few good things recently just to lose the really important things just as quickly. I'm not sure I can live like this anymore.
     
  2. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

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    I've quickly come to grips with that. Doesn't make it suck any less though. This is going to make me become a really cold person. I just don't want to have anything to do with anyone anymore. What's the point when they all fuck me over anyway?
     
  3. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    :wavey:

    I had a very deep (or so I thought) friendship with a number of co-workers over at my old division.

    I do not know fully what led me down the path of trying to concentrate more on work, and less on being social on the rare occasions of when I did visit my old division, but in doing so, I discovered that they are all a very unhealthy bunch of people, that really only wanted my attention, and/or to use me for things.

    when I indicated to them, that I'd be polite, but had to be more professional, and less social while "on the clock" but that I'd love to get together after hours, and/or during lunch it all started to dry up.

    It sucked in the beginning, but it also forced me to evaluate myself, and find out why I was drawn to people that, when viewed with clearer vision are very very unhappy people.

    at least two of them are carrying on inter-office affairs with two others. many are chain smokers. others instead choose to binge/purge on food, or booze.

    or spend lavishly on "stuff" in an effort to find happiness. only to find themselves now having to borrow against their pension to pay off their credit cards.

    in the beginning, I was looking at it as "the loss of friendships".

    now, looking back, I can see that they really weren't truly friends. I put a deeper meaning on the term than most I suppose, but they were "friendly acquaintances" who were only so, cause I was able, for a while to keep their heads out of the mud, and/or boost their miserable spirits.

    what I see now, is that I've gained clarity, and a sense of purpose. keener sight to find friendship in people that is deeper, and more 2-way.

    I'm not trying to suggest that everything from my experiences is apllicable, but it sounds like many of the people in your immediate area do not share the same beliefs, or values that you do.

    sometimes friendships have a sunset. sometimes they weren't really there to begin with. regardless, it's also an opporunity to find/make new ones. :hug:
     
  4. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Its best not to associate with crackheads. You can't reason with them. Find a better kind of people to hang out with. People intersted in other things.
     
  5. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    that's sorta what I said. only you cut to the chase.

    peyomp > :slap: > me
     
  6. chrisfei

    chrisfei New Member

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    Hrmmm, I have some experience with this. I went out with a girl who's ex-husband became hooked on the stuff after their divorce. Also, a girl my girlfriend currently knows, had a baby that was unbeknownest. The problem is the entire time she was pregnant she did heavy drugs, drank like a fish, and didn't take care of herself.

    In the first situation I let things run their course, he wasn't going to quit unless he chose to and straightened out his priorities, which he eventually did, not until things got as bad as they could. In the second, I just advised her to call CPS should she be doing things in front of the newborn (ie, smoking crack!) It seems like a tough move, but sometimes people don't shake out of things until they are slapped out of it, because they selfishly forget it's not just their lives they're responsible for anymore, it's also their kids, and in turn their kids are not responsible for the extra burden they place on the parents life, the parents are.
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    What the hell are you doing?!!! My god.... In my entire circle of friends (about 30 people) not a single one abuses drugs. It seems that you have surrounded yourself with people that do, so no wonder you have these problems. And a friend of yours was smoking crack next to a baby!!!!? You call that person a friend? That person is about as low as you can go, what a sick SOB!

    You did nothing wrong to this person you call a friend. If they don't like it then fuck them. I can't believe you are even having this conversation or doubts. A true friend would never ask this of you, much less get mad at you for turning them down. I think you really need to take a step away from it all and evaluate your life and what you are doing with it. None of these people are healthy people to be around, and none of them are good people either. Don't stick up for them. Good people don't get mad at their friends for not only assisting their illegal and dangerous habit, but they don't even ask them. Good people don't smoke crack in front of their child and give them contact highs. This is all very sick to me.

    I suggest not only to do take a step back and evaluate everything, but get the hell out and away from all of this. Sheesh! This is lunacy!
     
  8. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

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    Quite honestly as far as my old friend with the crack problem, I had no idea that she was even that way because she was pregnant for a good portion of the time I've known her (almost a year). It breaks my heart that she did this, but unless I want to deal with DFS and more conflict from her I can't do much. Besides in the great state of Missouri DFS is a joke.

    My friend hasn't emailed me back concerning the last email I sent him. I honestly hope he feels bad for the position he's put me in and quite honestly the more I let the recent events fester in my mind the more pissed off I get because he thinks that I have no moral value. I feel like he's taken me for a fucking joke. Am I wrong?! I have worked so damn hard to be where I am today. I work 2 jobs, 6-7 days a week. I babysit at night 6 days a week. I am going to go back to school to become a paralegal within the next year because my employer sees how much I dedicate my life to making his job a little easier (he is an attorney and a family friend and has offered to help me with school financially if I need it) plus I am raising a child the best that I can and my friend knows the stress in my life and still feels it is necessary to add more by turning into a dickhead over exstacy (that was what he wanted).

    I'm not so much having doubts about saying no, I am having doubts about all of the people in my life. It's a difficult thing to come to the realization that out of everyone I know very few of them are who I thought they were. Maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention, maybe I decided to cover the flaws up by ignoring some of the things that have happened. Either way, the feeling completely sucks. I just needed to rant, thank you everyone that has read this. I appreciate the feedback and will continue to update should there be a reason to (hopefully there won't be because I am just fed up with conflict and drama). But nothing like this ends easily I'm sure.

    On a side note, I had lunch today with my husband, we were going to discuss our son and how to handle him not living here anymore and for the first time in a few months we actually talked openly and honestly without fighting. He asked me for help and forgiveness. I told him that as long as he is willing to make a commitment to helping himself I can forgive him. But that...that's another story.
     
  9. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Man, a true friend would never ask you to break the law... you did right.
     
  10. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Sometimes you gotta realize that everyone you hang out with is dirt. And move on.
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Losing people who are very clearly hazardous to your health isn't really losing a precious friendship.

    And you can do without people who are your friend purely for their own gain. Obviously everyone knows that. But not everyone can see when this is happening.

    That's the real trick. Isn't it.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Comment retracted. Overall cynicism levels incremented.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2005
  13. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

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    Very true. That is why I am where I am. Not seeing people for who they really are until it's almost too late. What is funny is that these people with their issues really want others that aren't into that shit to get into it just to validate their own problems or feel like it isn't as bad as it really is. Just so happens that I'm not going to put my neck on the cutting board just to make someone else feel better. I've never been one to feel like I am better than anyone else, but I think this time I'm justified.

    Also, it isn't so much about the area I live in. I live in a nice area for the most part, it's just that the more money you have the more you can spend on shit you don't need. Upper middle class people have the worst drug habits because they can afford it (yes, even crack. Isn't that sad?).
     
  14. AshLee

    AshLee New Member

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    its all too true about the upper middle class people having the worst drug habits. i live in a upper middle class town and it seems like EVERY person I know has too much time on their hands and mommy and daddys money to buy their drugs. and these kids dont just smoke weed. that is nothing for them anymore..i know several people who do heroin, coke..etc. and we have had a few friends die because of related issues with drugs/drinking..when are these people going to understand?? DRUGS ARE LAME. It just baffles me.
     

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