SRS I think my boyfriend has a drinking problem

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by OoOlAlA, Dec 30, 2006.

  1. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I am sitting here crying...he refused to leave the bar once again. He always chooses the bar over me. I know I need to end things with him its just sooo hard. I dont know why I am typing on here I guess I just need support of some sort. I just wish he would be different because I know he is a good person..I really dont want to go through this crying shit anymore.
     
  2. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    you need to take care of yourself, not him
     
  3. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    Agreed. Move on.
     
  4. _Ven

    _Ven Active Member

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    when he is sober, maybe have a calm talk about it and tell him how its making you feel. i mean he shouldnt be making u cry like this. if he is in real deep maybe urge him to seek help like AA meetings and give him support.

    if worst comes to worst, eventually u are going to have to make him choose you or the alcohol.
     
  5. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    He is usually crabby when he is sober so if I try talking to him he yells at me, ignores me, or calls me crazy. For the past month I have said I want to choose one day in the weekend that he picks me over the bar. A whole damn month..he still didnt do it. Last night he was at the bar and I was there until 11 and asked him to leave with me. He walked me to my car and I pretty much begged him to come with me. Still no. I was getting teary eyed and then he asked why I have to act that way and I asked him the same thing. He was being a jerk so I rolled up my window and put my car in drive. He opened my door and tried grabbing my arm but I drove away. I left my msn on and it looks like he got home at 4...that is just not acceptable. He isnt taking me seriously about this issue.
     
  6. _Ven

    _Ven Active Member

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    he yells at you when u talk about his drinking or all the time about anything? hrmm well i think you need to put ur foot down. dunno how long u have been with him but im sure u saw something in him and it seems like u want to help him.

    looks like he has all the control over the relationship, maybe start setting some rules like denying him what ever privileges you give him. it seems like u want to hold on to him so maybe ask his friends to help u out with this as well. if its still not working make sure u mean business and tell him to his face (not all up in his face, but that he knows u are full on serious about this) that this issue is affecting you quite a bit, and that you will leave him.

    if he cares about u enough to hang on to you then he will try and change for you. if not, then up to you if u want to continue putting up with it.
     
  7. FlyBoy07

    FlyBoy07 New Member

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    Sorry OoOlAlA, this won't work, you are powerless. You will never have the power to make him do anything.
    You obviously accept it.
     
  8. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    remember, you no more have the power to make him stop drinking than you do to make him start.
     
  9. emohn

    emohn New Member

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    We did not causeit. We cannot cureit. We cannot control it.

    Take care of yourself first and foremost. Find an Al-Anon meeting and hook up with a good group of people who understand what you're going through and can help make sure you're keeping your own interests and well being ahead of other. Only if you can encourage your b/f in as supportive and non-judgemental a way as possible to seek help, do so. Just remember the 3 C's though. It's far too easy to think we can control the actions of others.
     
  10. onemoretequila

    onemoretequila New Member

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    Seems like he has problems himself besides alcohol (screaming at you when sober). As long as he can not accept that he has problems there are not much you can do except being teared apart while watching him destroy himself.
     
  11. Create

    Create :free at last:

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    Leave him. If he finds his way out of his habit, I almost garuntee he'll try to apoligize. He won't fault you down the line. If he get's clean, then dates you again, he'll drink to excess again. Sorry, but it's almost inscibed in stone.
     
  12. sterlin

    sterlin New Member

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    There are plenty of guys out there who wont treat you like shit. Leave this guy and find a real man.
     
  13. CrackaJacka420

    CrackaJacka420 New Member

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    I think that if you leave him it may open his eyes to what hes been doing to you and how hes treated you....when he comes crawlin back you set some rules and help him clean up....if he doesnt come back then screw him he wasnt good enough for you.
     
  14. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    Location:
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    /thread
     
  15. Rolledsho

    Rolledsho New Member

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    Staying with him is enabling him

    You should go to an Al Anon meeting just to get an idea of what is really going on when he acts like that.

    As long as you stay with him while he is drinking he has no reason to change.
     

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