SRS I think I'm in love with my best friend's ex.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cbhaga01, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. cbhaga01

    cbhaga01 New Member

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    So my best friend started dating this girl about 6 months ago. I always thought she was cute, but nothing more. About a month ago, we're all hanging out, and the more we get to talking, we realize that we have a lot more in common than her and my friend. Around this time, I start feeling "weird," especially when I'm unwittingly thrown into the middle of the increasing number of fights they get into. I love this dude to death, but I can't help but sympathize with his g/f. Anyways, 2 weeks ago, she dumps him, because he'd increasingly been a complete dick to her, and started making her feel guilty for complaining about every bad thing he'd done to her. She calls me up one night, asks me if I can come over and just stay with her cause she's upset, next thing I know, we're in the bed cuddling, falling asleep watching Super Troopers. I wake up, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. While I'd never want to do anything like this to my friend, he honestly claims that he has no feelings for her whatsoever, and I've known him since we were 8, I can tell that he's honest. She wants to hang out constantly since they've split, and I really can't see myself finding a girl this perfect any time soon.

    Advice?!
     
  2. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I think that the most important thing is to find out whether or not your friend really has strong feelings for her. I know he said he doesn't, but that doesn't always mean he is telling the truth.

    This could very easily ruin your friendship.

    Whatever you do in this situation, I think it's important to make it a future rule that you will not develop any kind of interest in the girls that your best friend dates. What you've done already is pretty sneaky and not a characteristic of a good friend, so I would talk to your friend immediately and see what he thinks. I'm not trying to insult you ---- I'm 23 now, but when I was 17 I completely shit all over one of my very good friends by getting with a girl that had just broken up with him a week earlier and he was heartbroken over. On top of that, I lied to him about the whole time until the girl began hating me and ratted me out. Every time I see this guy out in public now I just want to tell him how sorry I am. The only good thing to come out of the situation is it made me 100% the opposite way and I am the most loyal guy a friend could ask for.

    The main problem is that whether or not he truly has feelings for this girl, he will be hesitant to bring any future girlfriends around you because of this situation.
     
  3. cbhaga01

    cbhaga01 New Member

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    Thanks man, I appreciate it. However, he's fucked around with his friends' ex's more than once, and to far greater an extent than I have. So I can't help but wonder.
     
  4. john law

    john law Guest

    Girls come and go. You friends will be there longer than some fling.
     
  5. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Talk to him about it a friend should be cool with that I wouldn't care about my friend dating a girl I was seeing for only a few months
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    But on the other hand, if he really is your best friend and if this guy really loves her, he should understand and support this guy and not end their friendship over a woman just because he dated her.
     
  7. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    talk to him.

    i did this once (no the RS did not last). i asked him if he was cool with it. he was, and we dated.

    if he is not cool with it then its up to you. what do you value more?
    keep in mind that she may be wanting to hang out all the time bc you are an emotional crutch to her. are you even sure she feels the same about you>?
     
  8. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    She wanted to break up. Of course she's going to talk shit about him and make him sound like the bad guy. You're responding just like she wants you to.

    He should be giving her shit for that. The past is the past. She needs to learn how to forgive people. I hate people who bring up past issues after they have been dealt with.

    So you're her rebound. Why do you think she's "perfect?"
     
  9. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Ask him straight out if he minds if you see her. If it were me, and he had a problem with it, I wouldn't have anything further to do with her. I'm a pretty loyal friend, and I've learned it's "bros before hoes".
     
  10. Dnias

    Dnias New Member

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    First off...if it's only been a couple weeks since they broke up, I would deff wait it out a bit...u dont want him getting the wrong idea. If she has feelings for u as well i am sure she would wait it out a couple of weeks to let things smooth over. Then after that i would just askem...if he says no then he says no...but guys are not like chicks man...we really dont get mad about that stuff if we are the ones breaking it off. JUST ASK! but if he says no and if he is a really good friend of yours then the ball is in your court. Personally i wouldnt if my friend has said no..i mean shit i have had friends that i would love to beat the shit out of and had a chance to sleep with thier girl but didn't...i'm just loyal like that. Good look though
     

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