I think im fucked v.my gf's parents

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CaliAtenza, Feb 15, 2008.

  1. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    Ok...bassically me and my gf go to school out here in india (med school) and her dad was here last month to be with her during her exams. We were talking like usual and i happened to send her a text message that had the word "sweetie" in it. She deleted it but the crappy ass network her phone is on decides to send it 7 fucking times to her phone and her dad saw it when he was using it. So now he is pretty pissed cause he doesnt know the full story of our relationship..etc. Fast forward 2 today..she's back in cali for vacay and i call her up and she proceeds to tell me that now her mom knows..even though she told me earlier that her dad would keep it to himself. Her mom is pissed off as well. I mean they still think im a good person but i think im in the soup for a while..now how do i deal with her parents??? I just wanna fix this..
     
  2. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    I fail to see the "wrong" thing.
     
  3. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    how old are you? are her parents indian? are you indian?
     
  4. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    ^The "wrong" thing is the fact that she hasnt told her parents point blank that she is with me..they just think we are good friends with me making all the moves.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Umm :ugh:
    1. How old are you two?
    2. How long have you been dating?
    3. Why would her parents give a shit if she was dating you or anyone?
    4. Why are you being kept a secret?

    No one can provide you unbelievable advice when you don't give any real details.
     
  6. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    Ya we r both indian. Im 22 she is 19.
     
  7. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    We've been dating 8 months as of this month. Everything has been great :)..save for the parentals. I guess they are upset cause she hasnt told them the truth..
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Again, why hasn't she told them ohh.....in the last 8 months that you two are dating? Fucking stupid.

    Edit-You're not stupid. The fact that she's kept your relationship a secret for 8 months is stupid as fuck. Think about it, you see these movies where soemone meets someone and they lie about who they are for some reason or another. Then they fall in love and it becomes an "OMG, when will he/she tell him/her who I really am?" Then the SO finds out and it ruins the relationship. Well this is kinda like this. I mean why would she keep it a secret and when was she ever planning on telling them? I'd think after even 4 months one would admit it, but 8? Yikes, that just makes her look terrible to her own parents.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2008
  9. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    ok well i realize with the cultural values that this can be difficult, but she really needs to be honest with her parents about your relationship. that will be best in the long run. I dont think its your responsibility in this case, I think you should let her take care of it.
     
  10. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    ^yeah thats what i was thinking but that means ill have to come clean to my parents too..and it will be way worse on my side. Her parents are somewhat open to it..my parents know that i like her but they dont know anything more than that and i already got a big lecture about this..she says it will all blow over but i dunno how long that will be..i mean ya it is my fault technically..
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    TELL BOTH YOUR PARENTS!!

    Good lord, you are 22. What is your explanation for hiding this from them?
     
  12. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    ^well they are and arent. My parents are old school..and may try to push it on me even though long ago i refused all of that. My parents are mainly worried that she will be a "distraction"..to put it in their words. Her's are also thinking along the same lines. Its a culture thing and it sucks ass
     
  13. fray

    fray New Member

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    no chance they'll just be happy that you're each dating another indian? Outside of the school thing (like if you were finished with school) would they be happy with your choice, you think? Maybe if you just discuss it and continue to show them that it isn't affecting your schooling, they'll settle down, and eventually may even come to be happy with the idea.
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    NO, it isn't. Different cultural taboos and expectations. FOr some people this is enough to get them disowned from the family.
     
  15. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Indeed. A friend of mine (American) was dating and Indian guy for 6 months before he told his parents. They were ridiculously unhappy when they found out because they had pretty much planned for him to goto medical school after college (he didn't want to) and marry an Indian girl. He finally stoop up to them, didn't go to medical school and instead went for a Master's in something like Pub Health, and he's still with her. Finally, after close to two years, they're slowly accepting the fact that she's a big part of his life and happiness. I know where the OP is coming from, I understand why you guys are hiding it, but honestly, revealing it is like taking off a bandaid. Do it and get it over with. It may blow over, it may not, but from what I've seen, ya just gotta stick your ground.
     
  16. Vanilla Tarantino

    Vanilla Tarantino OT Supporter

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    Different culture. I have an Indian friend that waited 3 years before she told her parents that she was dating a guy. The guy never officially told his parents, but let them figure it out after about 3 years. Both of their parents migrated from India, so they have a different culture, different expectations, and differences in communication levels.
     
  17. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I was raised with extremely strict parents and I still can't fathom dating someone for 8 months without saying a word. Culture or not, if she can't bring herself to tell her parents then you have a pretty big issue to address.
     
  18. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    You don't have it that bad. I think communication is a key on her part like iwishyouwerebeer said.

    My gf's sisters boyfriend took 2 years to tell his parents he is seeing her. They have been dating close to 4 years now. His mother is absolutely against it(He's white, she's asian). His mom has gone so far as to sneaking into his place 3hours away from where they live and going through his garbage to find contact lenses case (he has 20/20 vision) and a strand of hair and accused him of having her over for the weekends. The allegations are entirely true, but I don't know why he won't man up and just do it. I have tried everything I can do without putting my foot into their life/relationship, but I keep trying to tell him that it's going to affect them in the future in some way. His mom has refused to invite her to Christmas, thanksgivings for the past 2 years flat out. The father and his family are open to her, and actually does want to meet her, but his mom won't accept it.

    I also have to point out that of all the places his mom chose to live, this is basically little china, and if she hates them so much, they're plenty of places to go lol.


    I guess that word of intimacy coming 7 times or something would kinda piss me off too if it was my daughter lol.
     
  19. CaliAtenza

    CaliAtenza New Member

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    Thanx guys for all the responses. Being with her hasnt affected my schoolwork :). I mean ya i think it will just take time. My parents havent met her yet..but ive met hers and they really do like me..but this stupid message screwed it all up. I didnt know the phone was going to go haywire. My mom and dad have a lot of stupid assumptions about her..when they havent even met her. That really pissed me off..and also they gave me a big lecture last time i went home 2 cali..during that said lecture my dad said i had a "weak mind". I was so pissed off that i didnt speak to him for a week.so i mean i dunno..i hate hiding. I mean she is basically from the same place in india that i am..speaks the same language..even has relatives from the same damn village that my dad is from..i dunno what more my parents could want..
     

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