SRS I think I messed up with my SO...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Xtodemerio, Dec 24, 2007.

  1. Xtodemerio

    Xtodemerio New Member

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    Extremely close girlfriend of 2 ½ years, I had been stressed out about school, and I hated myself for it. She said that it made her sad to see me depressed and said she needed some space from me because she was starting to resent me for it. So I tried to give her space but apparently I tried to talk to her too much and she said she still “felt weird”, said she was afraid that we might not be right for each other right now and we needed to break up. I feel like I've taken her for granted, I've never missed anything as much as I miss her and what she was to me in my life. But I don't think all hope is lost yet. I've spent time with her since I got back from school and we've been very happy during that time and I'm grateful for it. However she still wants space and I'm trying to give it to her. I feel like this is all my fault and I'm hating myself for causing this. Is it still repairable?
     
  2. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Sounds like a great girl you have there. You're get depressed and stressed out and she heads for the door. :ugh:
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Basically in a nut shell your depressing mood turned her off. It brought her down and she started to change her mind and feelings about you. Women's emotions can change with the wind, especially over an important issue like their SO treating them like shit, or in your case your mood bringing her down.

    The thing is she is demanding space. Now a girl asking for space (I'll be honest) is literally almost never a good thing in any way. It's a woman's way of saying "I need to take a break from you and see what else is out there." However, this is no means for you to panic and try to talk to her constantly to keep her in your life. On the contrary, you need to do exactly what she is asking. How do you do that? Cut her from your life. Stop contacting her via phone, in person, IMing, etc. You need to give her space and in the meantime really work on yourself. I know you'll say but that's so hard," and it's not supposed to be easy, but it's what needs to be done. Usually if you do give her space and stop talking to her she will miss you and realize that she wants you in her life. If you are always around that makes you always available and unattractive. You need to fix yourself so you appear more appealing!
     
  4. Xtodemerio

    Xtodemerio New Member

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    :dunno: She tried to make me feel better and I guess I really just threw it back in her face, and she just got sick of it.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's easy to say that as an outsider. We are only hearing the short story from him. The true matter is he could be a real fucking headcase who constantly brings his girlfriend down who is constantly by his side and he pushes her away. Then of course she rightfully gets sick of it and said she needs space and he realizes too late that he always took her for granted. Don't be so quick to blame her, we always hear the one side of the story.
     
  6. Xtodemerio

    Xtodemerio New Member

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    I haven't talked with her in a good while. Except when she occasionally has called me (2 times or so the past 4-5 days). I'm definitely out of the depressed funk and I don't plan to go back to that, considering all the trouble it brought me, the fuck is the point of that?

    I just have to figure how I need to change myself. I'm ready to do whatever is necessary. (Easy to say that, I know, not easy to apply it.)
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well this forum is filled with people asking the same question usually: How do I get out of that funk? or How do I get over my relationship? The advice is usually the same. You need to find something you enjoy! When I was depressed I had a poor self image. The first thing I did was go to the gym. Once I got over my initial fear of people watching me in there I started to love it! I got a routine and I lost weight and felt amazing already about myself.

    Then you can do things such as trying activities you never did but always wanted to. Everyone is different. Also try to get yourself out there. Hopefully you have friends, as long as you do see if you all can try new things together, go to a bar you always wanted to see, etc.
     
  8. Xtodemerio

    Xtodemerio New Member

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    She is a great girlfriend, however I know I don't deliberately try to put her down. I've pushed her away before, and I think she has a right to be sick of it, I also think I took her for granted and realized it too late. I wish you could hear both sides of the story.
     
  9. Xtodemerio

    Xtodemerio New Member

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    I've been told this before, it is smart advice, however I need to act on it, I'm not really out of shape or overweight but I think this would be a nice way to let off steam and build a better overall self image.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No I understand. I'm not trying to say you're an asshole, it's just jmezz jumps immediately to the assumption that the girlfriend is totally at fault here when to me it sounds like there's far more we don't know about, and I mean we don't know the both of you anyhow. You don't have to worry about impressing any of us, just paint the picture fairly.

    To me it sounds like you've learned the error of your ways and hopefully you will learn and grow from it and only good will come for the both of you.

    Yes, it is an excellent way to build your self image
     
  11. Xtodemerio

    Xtodemerio New Member

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    Thanks for the push in the right direction...:hs:
     
  12. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I see the point you're trying to make but his original post:

    Doesn't make it out to be like he is a raving lunatic. He makes it sound like he was just stressed from school, which is something that EVERYONE in school goes through.

    My statement is based on the fact that I was under the impression that she just decided she wasn't going to stick by him during this time.

    Had he stated details claiming that he is nothing short of a head-case, I wouldn't have made the assumption that I did.

    :)

    You guess you just threw it back to her? Is that because she told you that, or because you honestly feel that way?
     
  13. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    There will be others, at least try to believe that, but right now you really need to be looking after yourself and not having to worry about the way your behavior is affecting other people. This is a good thing and you will get through it. Give her the space she needs and build a friendship with her, maybe one day you will get back to the romantic side of things but now isn't the time for you to be thinking about that.

    Focus on the things in front of you and throw yourself into them. Once they're out of the way you can take a really good look at what you want out of life and love and get on making it happen. Don't be insensitive to how she may be hurting (and it doesn't seem that you are) but make sure you focus on yourself right now.

    It might seem selfish, but the people in your future will be benefit from having you stable and stress free, and who knows- maybe she'll be in it.

    Take a deep breath, everything will work out.
     

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