SRS I think I just got friendzoned :hs:

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by vtec1994, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Met this chick a few weeks ago, been hanging out a bunch and whatnot. Start to get interested in her so I figure Ill ask her out.

    Was over her place the other night and she starts talking about how she never ends up dating the right guy and how she wants X type of guy. Im sitting here thinking to myself, thats me, Im that type of guy.

    Conversation progresses and I get it out her that she wouldnt date me cause she considers me a good friend now. After that I tell her that I did want to ask her out eventually. Of course she gives me the "aww, im sorry" line yadda yadda

    Anyways, it seems like she's contradicting herself sayings she wants a certain guy, but when that guy comes along (me) she throws them in the friend category and wont date them because of the friendship. Any way I can get around this and convince her to let me take her out? Or should I just accept it and hold on to what looks to be a good friendship?
     
  2. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    ... some people are just dense. They want X type of guy but end up going with Y type because Y type just looks cooler and treats them like shit.

    Anyway-- tell her that if she wants X type of guy and you are it, then ask her to put a little faith in you. Persuade her with something such as "If you let me take you out for blah, and you don't enjoy yourself, we can stay friends." Or something similar to that. If you're brave enough, you should maybe mention the idea of going out for a month or two and at the end of the month (or two), if she didn't enjoy being with you, or vice versa, staying friends will be ok. No harm, no foul.

    I've done that before--I mean the whole going out with a guy for a few months to see if it works out. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. But at the end we both understood and accepted and either went on in the relationship or just stayed friends.
     
  3. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    I've done something similar to that.. my experience wasn't as good, though. I always felt tempted, especially after being physical with the girl. You seem like you're pretty into her while she seems more laxed about everything.

    If you really think something magical can happen with her, then let her know. Next time you get into a "deep" talk with her about "the right guy", grab her hand, put it in yours, look at her and say "I want to be that guy.. let me make you happy. At least let me try."

    See where it gets you.. girls love affection, and even though she might not show any "physical" interest, it doesn't mean she doesn't have those feelings on the inside. It's up to you to bring them out.

    Just remember, when doing this, you're taking a chance on losing a friendship.
     
  4. orie

    orie social assassin

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    you are leaving out a lot of details relating to the prior weeks when you met her. You waited too long to do something.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ouch, friendzoned. Should've made a move earlier. Her comments about how she wants this kind of guy would have been the absolutely perfect time for you have cockily and jokingly said "well that's me, lets go out." But it was too late. Live and learn.

    PS-Don't hang out with her so much, just being her "friend" is never going to make her see you in a different light. You have to exit her life for a while to hopefully make her wake up and see you.
     
  6. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    :ughwerd:
     
  7. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Well, I def said that I was that guy when she mentioned it the other night. I didnt wait on that.
     
  8. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Yea, Im def. going to bring it up. We'll see what happens next time I see her...
     
  9. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    seems like you allowed yourself to get friendzoned. If you knew you wanted to ask her out and you've been feeling her for quite some time, you should have asked her out a while ago.

    Like someone said before, stop hanging out with her for a while; distance yourself. Then go back and pursue. Maybe she needs to realize that you are the guy she is looking for. and she probably won't see it til you're "gone"
     
  10. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Ok so maybe I made it seem like Ive known her longer than I have, its really only been 2ish weeks, but oh well.
     
  11. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    oh
     
  12. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Yea, maybe that changes things? Who knows..
     
  13. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

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    well the only thing that changes is that you have a slightly better chance of getting out of the friendzone b/c there's not so much history b/w y'all as "just friends."

    the whole distancing plan is a double edged sword IMO. seeing as how you've only known her for a short time, if you start ignoring her more now, she might just stop caring and move on to other things/people. then again, it's better to change her perception of you sooner than later or else you're stuck forever.

    generally, if there's not instant mutual attraction, you'll be stuck in the friendzone and that's only exacerbated by sticking around as "just a friend." live and learn and move on, but if you want a chance w/ her, i say definitely stop being as attending and start distancing a little but know that you're probably not getting far
     
  14. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    She is telling you that she is not physically attracted to you. That whole not wanting to date you because youre her friend is just a nice way of saying she is not attracted to you. You may be what she wants personality wise but if she does not feel that attraction to you then you'll never be anything more than a friend.
     
  15. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    F that, Id rather her just say Im not her type.
     
  16. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    Then ask her, "So am I just not your type?" It's a fair enough question and I think you'd get an honest response. If she gives you a firm, "Yea, you're just not really my type" then there's your answer. If she says "you kind of are, but blah blah blah" then you can kind of see what she's looking for and maybe convince her that you are actually capable of those things. You don't really have much to lose at this point:dunno:
     
  17. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    :werd:
     
  18. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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  19. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    nevAr!!!
     
  20. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Next time I see her, Im gonna see if I can get her to realize I am what she want, see what happens.

    If she doesnt go for it, then Ill just leave it at that.
     
  21. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    :werd: get a solid answer and then move on. there are plenty of chicks out there
     
  22. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Fucking shitty situation
     
  23. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    We'll be here for you tomorrow when this fails.
     
  24. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Sorry I have determination. I have vague answers.
     
  25. vtec1994

    vtec1994 It always rains at Le Mans

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    Then why does she want to date the type of guy that I feel describes who I am, but doesnt want to date me?
     

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