SRS I think i have an attachment problem

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by fallenauthority, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. fallenauthority

    fallenauthority OT Supporter

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    Actually i know I have an attachment problem. Im a guy, im 18, only been in a couple relationships and none of them really meant anything. I met this girl Amanda last year in one of my classes. talked to her a couple times in class then she added me on myspace (how typical), we started talking a lot more, hanging out and all that.

    I developed a liking for her and a couple people knew including her sister, but she always talked about not wanting a bf and all that so i jsut left if alone, but im sure her sister told her. Few months down the road one of her friends told her I did, and she(Amanda) IMed me and asked me if it was true, and i told her it was, and she said she wasnt really ready for a bf still that she wanted to figure out some things in her life. Fast forward to last weekend. We have been good friends and all that all this time,

    not really any more mention of an us. Well saturday morning I wake up and find a voicemail on my phone from her. She was drunk and was spilling all this stuff about how she started thinking about an "us" situation. She said she wanted to try an "us". Now i had in mind that she was drunk, but me being stupid still had that little bit of hope that she really felt this way, cause according to her sister she is one of those people who speak what they feel but wont ever say to people when they are sober.

    I talked to her later that day about it and she said she didnt remember calling and leaving a message, and that she isnt ready for a relationship. Of course i was let down a bit. again, fast forward to last night now. I go to a party at her house with some friends, I get there and Amanda already has a few in her and about 20 minutes after i get there she is gone, drunk as hell, cant walk straight and talking her ass off.

    She asks to talk to me in private, so we go into another room and sit down at a table and she starts talking about all this stuff then she comes to "Ive never opened up to anyone like I have you, you have always been there for me when others werent, and I like you, and you like me but ive never HEARD it from you, ive heard it from my sister and friends but never HEARD it from you. I just want to hear you say it." I tell her that i like her, and blah blah blah, she continues talking. Night goes on and she talks a bit more about how ive always been there and how she likes me and all that.

    Now, this morning i get a text from her saying that she will call me once i get off work. She calls me, same thing as last weekend "I dont remember last night at all".
    Same BS, same let down. I just dont get why I put myself through this, like i want to just say "fuck you" and leave this whole thing. But for some reason I cant. I think im emotionally retarded, or just retarded.

    She tells me that she doesnt understand why i like her, and that i deserve much better than her and that she has changed into someone she doesnt think i would like. Which i think this is just a way for her to say she doesnt like me, doesnt want an "us". But then I dont get where this whole drunken "OMG I LIKE YOU" thing comes in. I just dont get it.

    Help? :hs:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2007
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    She's undecisive, look at the body and not what she says. If its moving away from you, she's not interested, if it's moving towards you, she is interested.

    Unconsiously and in the back of her head she does like you. What you have to do is to invite her to a romantic dinner, and let her having drinking a couple of glasses of wine and have a passionate night. This because she will never initiate something of her own, so you have to seduce her into being with you. Its important that you keep on pursuading her and not give up till the point that she finally gives in on you.
     
  3. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    I totally disagree. Turn and run the other way. She's getting so wasted at 18 that she is having blackouts. she tells you she really likes you but doesn't remember in the morning. she's obviously not ready for a relationship if she can't even confess all this when she's sober. don't try to persuade her either- it won't be worth it. she'll just end up hurting you.
     
  4. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    She'll claim rape man.
     
  5. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Or she won't even remember it :hsugh:

    On a serious note though, she obviously can't make up her mind on what she wants. Someone who's drinking that much to the point of not ever being able to remember what she said while drinking probably isn't worth your time. That seems to be the only time she tells you she "feels the same". If she can't tell you that sober, then I'd just try to move on.
     
  6. fallenauthority

    fallenauthority OT Supporter

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    Well I did it, I finally told her that I am done with being the guy who is always there. I told her im tired of being used and lied to. I told her to forget any chance of an us, if there was ever even a chance of an us. Im done with being used, and always ending up feeling like shit because of it. Im no longer Mr. Convenient. Im done with it. Thanks for the help guys.
     
  7. k1ko

    k1ko OT Supporter

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    good job. The funny thing about this though is that I bet she starts liking you a WHOLE lot more now that you stood up for yourself and pushed her back. Girls are just really weird like that...
     
  8. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    Ya women are sick like that.
     
  9. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    a drunk persons words are a sober persons thoughts.
     
  10. deviant

    deviant rest your trigger on my finger

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    qft. before you were always there, so she took you for granted. now that she can't have you i'd be willing to bet that she's calling you within a week to say "i'm so sorry about what i put you through, i don't know what i was thinking. if you can ever forgive me i really want to give "us" a try"
     
  11. fallenauthority

    fallenauthority OT Supporter

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    To which my answer will be "you are too late."
     
  12. deviant

    deviant rest your trigger on my finger

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    :h5:
     
  13. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Perfect! :)

    Glad to hear that you were able to just stand up and stop being Mr. Convenient.
     

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