I think I have a mental problem...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CrxRacer619, Aug 9, 2005.

  1. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    Maybe I need a psychiatrist. I am very particular and delicate (from what my friends tell me). I'm also old-fashioned. I'm a germaphobe and I wish I wasn't like that but that's just the way it is. You guys are probably thinking why is this in the Vag forum. Well, here's my story.

    I once dated this girl who was very desirable. I don't get involved with girls who aren't virgins. She told me she was raped so I made an exception. I later found out she was lying so that was that. We were together only a couple months. She had one previous sexual partner and they were together for almost three years. My friends were dumbfounded and asked why I broke up with her. They told me all girls lie and this and that. Times have changed, etc. They said I need to play the field and know what's out there. But see, I don't date girls just to date them. I only waste my time on those who I can picture myself settling down with one day. My friends just want to bone them.

    I'm picky and celibate. I'm looking for a girl who is a virgin and has morals. Someone who is religious and has nice family values. But see, I'm also very particular when it comes to looks. When I broke up with the girl I mentioned above, she inflicted a wound on herself. She carved my initial on her arm. She said she never did anything like that before. She also said I don't know how to be a BF. And that if she couldn't be with me, she'd stay single forever. :eek3: Keep in mind I was only with her for a couple months. She was recovering from a 2 1/2 yr. relationship with her ex. She forgot about him with the quickness, then dated me a few months after their breakup. Now, I broke up with her a year and a half ago and to this date, she is still single. Her comment about how I don't know how to be a BF yet still pushed her into cutting herself has led me to believe that maybe I do need a psychiatrist. Maybe I'm the problem. :sadwavey:
     
  2. Repost

    Repost PENCIL DICK

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    Well you kinda have a problem only wanting to date virgins. Obviously YOU'RE not a virgin, so why should you get to pick only virgins?
     
  3. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Yeh seems like a nice case of double standards.

    You do seem to have some problems (but they don't seem major), except maybe having impossibly high standards that every girl will eventually fail to match up against. The girl you mentioned also has issues, but thats another story and doesn't really affect what you are asking about.
     
  4. MovieMan84

    MovieMan84 Here we go

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    Have you tried some of the Christian dating services online? It seems like you're looking for a very particular individual and some of those places allow you to narrow down a lot of the field of potential individuals very quickly. Just a thought if you're having a hard time finding someone who is on a similar moral level to yourself.

    Also, you don't say if you're a virgin yourself. If you're not, I'd suggest you're going to have a much harder time meeting all of your requirements, though I suppose it's still possible.

    Finally, did the ex say anything else or go into detail about you not knowing how to be a boyfriend?
     
  5. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    You will get over it sooner or later. I was in that phase of only wanting a virgin who had never had anyone else. I wanted someone to love, not just to bone, someone with morals. I had the perfect thought of who I wanted.

    Then my girl came alone, I fell in love with her, and she was pretty much nothing like the pre-thought girl I had in mind. She is SOOOO much more, and SOOO much better though.

    Sounds like you have an immaturity thing, not a mental problem. Once you grow up a bit, it won't be a problem. You will understand that looking for love, and looking for specifics in a girl are 2 different things. If you are really looking for love and relationships, and not just a bone...then simple things really shouldnt matter.
     
  6. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    First of all that chick has issues that (probably) aren't your fault. I mean unless you were mentally or emotionally abusive. So you shouldn't blame yourself for that.

    On the other hand... unfortunately nowadays it's very unlikely to find someone who's never been with anyone else. It's fine to only want to date someone you are really into, where it could turn into a lasting relationship. I feel the same way you do about that. Never saw any great appeal in being a (man)slut and don't much understand those who do. It seems like people who live that way have a hard time settling down happily, maybe that's just my perception.

    As for me, I ended up in a relationship with a girl who was nothing like what I thought I wanted, yet all the same I love her to death. Funny how that happens.

    The only thing you can do I guess is keep looking, and don't be too hard on yourself over this. Maybe you should reconsider what is really most important to you in a person and let go of the litmus test a little though, you might be surprised what you find.
     
  7. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Wow.

    I hate to break this to you, but you'll NEVER find your "perfect woman".

    There's always SOMETHING that is not exactly how you want, or thought you'd want it to be.

    I'm not saying you won't find a virgin and/or someone with morals. I didn't think I would, actually that wasn't a "requirement", but something that would've been nice. I just basically wanted someone with morals and was looking for a partner to spend the rest of her life with, I don't understand these people that get into relationsips just for something to do. Anyway, I found someone that is a Virgin and wants to wait, at least for a while, maybe not until we are married, but not anytime soon.

    Anyway, back to the compromises, there will be something that isn't the way you want, either appearce or something from her past, which if you hold that against her, you better not get upset when she does the same to you about something.

    I will also suggest getting into a few relationships even if they are just to interact with someone on a more intimate level than friends, but maybe not so far as settling down with. There's a lot of nuances to dating and relationships, that the sooner you learn them, the easier it is to have a long happy one. It sounds like because of your preferences you have VERY limited experiance in this avenue.

    Anyway, good luck on your search, but don't turn away someone that could bring you more happiness, just because of a small thing.
     
  8. incubimmer

    incubimmer New Member

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    she told u she was raped to get w/ u?:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: thats a new 1.
     
  9. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Not really, I've heard it a few times before. Some chicks are insane :squint:
     
  10. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    i'm 19, she's 20.

    no. I was before her.
     
  11. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    She didn't elaborate. And yes, I asked for an example that made me out to look like a bad bf... She had nothing. However, she was very contradictive of herself. Later, she would say I was the best bf she ever had. and that she would just stay single forever if she couldn't be with me and a bunch of nonsense. :rolleyes:
     
  12. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    I know. I fucked up hard. My plan originally was to stay a virgin. One of the reasons I want a virgin is because I know my mind wouldn't be at ease knowing something else has been down there.. I'm too possessive. Sex to me is very dirty and I'm a major germaphobe as well. A girl has to be 100% pure for me to be comfortable. I'm weird.
     
  13. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    I want to see if somehow there's a way I can get rid of my high standards. I know if I wait it out and do get lucky and find that someone. I will probably be in my late 30's atleast. I wouldn't have a problem with that if it weren't for the fact that I'd be too old to have kids. What I mean is, I don't wanna be 40 or 45 and barely have a 10 yr. old. I would be too old to play with my kids. I rather be 33-35 and have a kid already in his preteens or so.

    I dunno. Too many conflicting ideas. And I'm a perfectionist as well. So everything has to be my way and done right. I don't wanna be like that but it's who I am. I can't seem to get rid of it. I overthink things too much... Time for a shrink?
     
  14. Brando

    Brando wanna be :broly: and :bike: crew.

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    40 years old with a 10 year old is good. Beleive me. Don;t have kids to young, wait until you are settled pretty much wehre you are going to be the rest of your life. Kids means no partying, late night, moving around, not coming home. THey are alot of work. Are you ready?
     
  15. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    Definitely not now. I don't party anyway. I pretty much just work and put a lot money into my cars. They'll be done in a couple years and then the pockets should be a little deeper. I just don't wanna be too old to the point where I couldn't relate to the things my kid(s) would be into in his heyday. I fear I would no longer a kid at heart then.
     
  16. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    you are only having these thoughts because you were a virgin before hand. now that you lost that you will be more open to what you will accept. You dont have a problem because you pushed your own rules aside when you let that one rule about her possibly being raped an exception so because of that I see you will be making more exceptions and lose your shallowness over time. being a shallow person will harm you if you dont change.

    and about you finding a perfect girl and a virgin only exists in fairy tails.. not beautiful girl will remain a virgin for long...theres alot of guys out there that will find a break her.
     
  17. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    That's the thing. Girls just don't become that way. It's guys that screw them up.
     
  18. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    but girls learn what made them become that and avoid "those" guys so the guys that are worth them dating eventually get the last laugh. but by then they are not virigins lol
     
  19. CrxRacer619

    CrxRacer619 New Member

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    agreed. damn, that sucks.
     
  20. MovieMan84

    MovieMan84 Here we go

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    My dad was about to turn 35 and my mom was about to turn 31 when they had me (I'm 21 now). Personally, only rarely do I feel he's out of touch with what I'm doing. Both of them were always able to go out and throw a baseball around with me until dark, or whatever I was up for doing when I was growing up. It's all in your perspective and your own drive and age has little to do with it. Don't rush through life from point to point like it's a race - slow down and enjoy it all. If kids are in your future that's great, but what's your rush? :hsugh:

    People play the shrink card way too easily, in my opinion. I don't believe "it's who I am" for a second. Everyone has the ability to change and it's all in whether you want to change or not. I used to be a perfectionist, but I've learned that life's a lot easier and a lot happier when you're not constantly worried about perfection. I've made some mistakes, but I've learned from them. Why are you trying to be perfect? Have you ever done anything in your life that didn't fall exactly into your plan? Have you ever considered that while you might sit around waiting for your idea of perfection to arrive at your doorstep that you might miss out on a good bit of...ummm...your actual life?
     

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