SRS I suppose I should get a girlfriend. The problem is . . .

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GlassUser, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    My life is pretty much awesome. Let's put the e-persona aside for a bit (but don't tell the main forum, mmmkay?) so we can analyze the situation. I have my own place, a fun truck, a great job, plenty of money to get by on though I'm by no means rich, and a few good friends. I have hobbies too, so I'm pretty much never lacking for something to do when I want to do something.

    I'm getting the normal pressures - older motherly women in my life, instinct, and the like are pushing me to grab a woman. I do want to have kids, when the situation is right, and I can't think of many down sides to having the perfect woman in my life.

    The problem is that I don't think I know any women that would be perfect for me. I think that the crux of the matter is that I'd need to find a woman that fit in with my life an only made it better (and of course I expect I'd have to deliver the same for her).

    I'm not really looking for a quick and easy answer here. This is more an invitation for general discussion. Any takers?
     
  2. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Wirelessly posted via wap.offtopic.com (Motorola Q: Mozilla/4.0 Sprint:MotoQ (compatible; MSIE 4.01; Windows CE; Smartphone; 176x220))

    I pretty much feel the same way as you right now. Just got out of a serious two year relationship that ended pretty badly. I'm about two weeks away from finishing college. I'm currenty working at an okay place and making good money. I enjoy being able to spend my own time and money on myself for once.

    Granted I spend quite a bit of time by myself, but thatis mostly due to the amount of homework I have. I don't have a real need to find someone just yet, but I do miss the feeling of having someone every once and a while. I guess that I am really just enjoying this phase in my life right before I become a "real" adult.
     
  3. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    The best relationships you will find will come through the course of living your life to the fullest and meeting someone who compliments your already fun and enjoyable life. The worst relationships you will find will come through pressure from outside sources, forcing you into a mold you don't want to be in just to relieve the pressure.

    I think you should take on the approach that it's time to start dating for "fun". Don't go on some witchhunt to find the perfect woman, but allow yourself to connect with a few women through casual dating.

    If you're having trouble meeting girls, then change your circumstances. What I mean is, if you aren't finding fun and interesting girls in the normal course of life, then it's time to branch out and try new things to where you can meet new people.

    But don't cave to the pressure and settle just to relieve all the naysayers who have no idea what's best for you. Only you know what's best for you.
     
  4. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    I don't see what the problem is. You're enjoying life the way you are right now and don't want to settle down yet. When you want to move forward with the "american dream", you will.
     
  5. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    But I like my life. It just doesn't bring me into contact with many girls that I consider dating prospects.
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Life is about expansion though.

    The idea is to expand your horizons and try new things...meeting new people will be a side effect of that.

    You are not actively seeking a girlfriend when you do this. You are looking at expanding yourself and your social circle in new ways, just to shake things up and keep things from getting boring.

    When the right woman comes into your life, you'll look back on this time in your life and it will pale in comparison. Just know that there is no rush and you don't have to pressure yourself to get into something that will detract from the happiness you feel now, but add to it.

    The existence of this thread is a warning sign that the life you lead right now just MAY be getting a little stale or something is missing. I'm not saying that you are unhappy or anything like that, but the fact that you are thinking about things like this signal that something is slightly off and you might want to try and shake things up just a bit.
     
  7. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I do expand my life. My list of hobbies changes, and I'm always learning new things.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Well then, keep on keeping on. :dunno:

    Or, as the old adage says, if it's broke, don't fix it.

    Although I would advise you to try to break out and just date casually. Don't look for a long term relationship, just go on dates and have fun. Don't approach it as anymore than that.

    I have a sneaky suspicion that the right person is going to sneak up and surprise you out of nowhere.
     
  9. Docter Pepper

    Docter Pepper OT Supporter

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    My women pressures usually stem from my cricle of friends. For a while almost all of my friends had girlfriends, so I felt pressured to have one to so I wasn't the awkward one out. Now, a lot of my friends are becoming single. Because of this, there is no pressure because we're all just looking to have a good time doing a bunch of different things. If you're happy with the status quo, I would suggest keep doing it until the fun runs out
     
  10. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Don't focus too much on me. I'm offering myself as an example for general discussion here.
     
  11. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    ..... I feel like this is a little backwards?

    In my opinion, if one of your goals in the future is to have kids (and settle down), then finding a woman is sort of a necessity. But, do it at your leisure. Your life at this moment may be entirely satisfying. If so, then there really is no rush. But, if you can't see yourself being happy in the future without a good woman and children then you need to start making little changes to this end. I don't know your interests, but certainly you can do things involving these that introduce you to new women.
     
  12. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    Good catch. I meant to say "if it's not broke, don't fix it". lol
     
  13. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I've got a friend in a similar situation...from early-to-mid 20s we traveled up and down the east coast playing volleyball, working part-time, and living a good (fun) life. I got engaged and my life changed so I didn't fit that environment any more and, even though wife/kids/house were things he said he wanted, for a few years he was thinking I was stupid.

    Long story short, now we're coming up on 40 and I've got wife/kids/house and he's renting an apartment, no wife, no kids. He loves his life but he knows he wants things but he's not willing to change his life to allow them in. He's not avoiding women but he's not out there looking, either. I understand the whole "it'll find you when you're ready" idea but at the same time, what if it finds you when you're 50? You want to be changing diapers when you're 55? You want to go to your child's high school graduation and have people think you're his grandfather.....*IF* you're still alive?

    I'm not saying settle for a woman who's not perfect for you. I'm saying if you really want kids, do you want them when you're too old to have fun with them? If not then you should get out and find more women to interact with, even if you're thinking *right*now* you're happy the way you are.
     
  14. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I'm 30, and in about the same boat with work.
     
  15. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I join all these meetup groups for my hobbies but so far, not many women. It sucks, I'm putting myself out there and I guess my hobbies attract guys or women I'm just not interested in(married or not attractive or a lot older)
     
  16. Mideel25

    Mideel25 OT Supporter

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    I am being completely serious when I say that I don't think most women have hobbies (in the sense that guys think about them)...especially ones that would have "meets". Whenever I have gone to meets of any kind, the only women there are girlfriends of guys that show up lol.

    Most girls that I know have interests that can be summed up with the following: hanging out with friends, some kind of whimsical non-sense, a few TV series, music of some kind, running/working out (which I see as something everyone should do rather than an interest), and POSSIBLY playing/following a sport. I guess what I am getting at is there is usually nothing they are really passionate about.

    Obviously, this does not apply to all women but it is just an observation I make about most of the females I know/have dated in the 21-27 age group. :hs:
     
  17. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    just do your thing, but keep your options open. Place yourself in situations where you can meet people, and if you meet a cool girl, ask her out.
     
  18. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Yep. Ain't many decent single women left. And they all have baggage.
     
  19. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :rofl:

    don't think you're baggage-free either.
     
  20. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Your point?
     
  21. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    You're looking for someone that would see you as you see the other women with "baggage".
     
  22. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    stop trying to find a baggage free woman?
     
  23. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Women look for different things in men. It works out well.
     
  24. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    It's not that I need to find a baggage-free woman, for such a creature does not exist. It's that I need to find a woman whose baggage I can stand to occasionally carry.
     
  25. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    your shit stinks, too.
     

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