SRS I Suck At Life

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by kmartsbytch, Apr 3, 2005.

  1. kmartsbytch

    kmartsbytch New Member

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    Life just really has me down right now...

    I’m 18 years old, a freshman in college, and I have basically no life to speak of.

    My entire life seems to revolve around my job, going to class, and sitting around my room wasting time online.

    I have no close friends. I mean, I get along with everyone I work with, we always have fun doing what we do. But once the time comes to punch out, that’s it, we don’t see or talk to one another again until the next time we work.

    Around campus, I really know no one at all. There’s a few people here on my floor of the dorms, but it seems like the only time that people ever wanna do something is if it involves going to a party. Myself, I’m not really a drinker, so that really doesn’t appeal to me. And I don’t really enjoy being around a bunch of loud, obnoxious drunks either, so I’m not gonna just go and not drink either.

    Then there’s the whole girlfriend issue. I’m 18 years old, and have had only one relationship...and it only lasted about a month. I’m not horrible looking or out of shape or anything. Granted, I am skinny...but it hasn’t stopped other guys. As sad as it may sound, after just a month or so with that one person, I really miss that. I miss always having someone to talk to, or cuddle with, or just knowing that someone cares. Meh, I dunno.

    This hasn’t just started now, either. I mean, over the last seven or eight years, I’ve really had no social life to speak of. Just a few friends around just to say that I had friends.

    I don’t understand it though, because like I said, I get along with basically everyone at work. Most people always say I’m one of the most enjoyable people to work with. They say how nice I am(not to sound conceited, because I’m far from it), blah blah blah. So I don’t see how my personality could be a problem.

    It’s gotten to the point now where I’m trying to get more hours at work just so I can be around people that I enjoy being with, to the point where I’m working 35-40 hours a week and 5-6 days. Tough while going to school, but I can’t make myself care about that part. All I care about is the fact that I’m actually enjoying life for once. Today for example, I was happy all day while there, but as soon as I parked my car in the parking lot on my way back to my room, I got all depressed.

    Then, outside of the whole social aspect, there is school. I really have no motivation for college anymore. For some reason, it just doesn’t seem worth my time. I found out recently that for my current major, I’ll barely be able to make it by to start off...and if I become successful, my ceiling salary is a little over $40,000. Don’t really see that worth all this time and money.

    And if I wanna change my major, I’m going to have to get my grades up because grade point average requirements are higher for most other majors. It’s hard to brings the grades up though when I have no motivation.

    As much as I would like to just drop out of college, now there’s this expectation of me that I’ll be a college grad from my family. It’s funny because before I applied for college, no one even expected me to go to school after high school, because my grades had slipped so much in high school. But now all I hear is how I have to stick with it and this and that.

    All that, combined with some family issues, and things aren’t going to swell.

    Loneliness is what’s getting me down the most, though. It depresses me when I see a couple walking down the street holding hands, knowing that I can’t do the same. It depresses me knowing that I’m 18 years old and I’ve experienced just about nothing in my life. It depresses me knowing I have no one to talk to if I need someone. Life’s been depressing me off and on for four years now.

    I thought about seeing a counselor or something here on campus, but I really don’t wanna get too involved in that. I see that turning into them trying to get me to see psychiatrists, prescribing me drugs, and then expecting to keep tabs on me so I don’t do anything stupid...and I don’t want to have to go through all that.

    Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill myself or anything. As much as I’d like to right about now, I could never imagine putting me family through anything like that.

    Anyways, I’m going to quit with my rambling now. I really don’t know what was the point in me even posting this. I guess I just felt like letting it out and didn’t have anyone else to tell. But yeah, if you have any advice on any of my current problems or anything, I guess post below and let me know. I gotta run for now though...depression’s kept me up all night and now I gotta get ready for work again. :/
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You career, your diploma's , your position in life, the amount of money you posses, your car, or your house don't mean crap in life. The only thing that matters in life is your loving interaction with others. Society lets you believe you are a failure because they set up high standards where no human was ever build for naturally to do. You are only on this earth here to help and love others. Stop letting society define what is succes and failure and start defining your own life. Can you take these society things beyond your grave? You can't so why worry about these trival things?
     
  3. Dude, you sound like me. Here's the thing. You put yourself in the place you are now, it's all YOUR choices that put you where you are. If you want to hang out with people from work, say so. Chances are they are going home to watch TV or something every bit as boring as what you are describing for yourself.

    The key to hapiness, is to decide what you want to do and do it. Just get it done and to hell with the consequences or possabilities. If something doesn't work out oh well try again tomorrow.

    I'm 26, I've been working a shitty job that I hate, and haven't had an actual girlfriend in, well, ever. It came to a point where I worked, went home and sat at the computer then went to sleep until I had to wake up and go back to work again.

    I just quit that job last night, I asked out a woman that I would normally deem way out of my league (and of course she was interested)

    Despite the fact I don't have a job lined up, I'm happier today than I was two days ago because I know I changed some things about my life that I hate. Do the same and you'll see it's a great thing.
     
  4. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    happiness comes from making friends and being in relationships IMHO. i also drive a nice car, have a nice home and great job but that doesn't mean shit. don't be shy. just go out there and make sure people know that you want to hang out. as jimmy as already mentioned, most of the people from your work just go home after work and are doing the same thing you're doing. communication is key.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2005
  5. R.Kelly

    R.Kelly OT Supporter

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    wow, this is just like me........i mean, i swear ive written stuff like this before LOL.

    im actually in the same position :(
     
  6. AO

    AO New Member

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    Where does exercise come in? Ride a bike, go jogging, take a long hike - go where all the other people doing the same thing go. Take up Tai Chi and practice outside where you can look at all the pretty girls. Go to church socials - that's right church. You'll make a lot of friends at those Friday and Saturday Night socials. Hang around the school football park, catch some games. When baseball comes around start going to all the games and flirt with all the girls behind the counter and selling the sodas. Take up roller blading or ice skating. Just go up to a girl that looks at you three times or more and ask her to help you learn to skate. Flirt with the older women too. Swoon if you have to. Never pass up an opportunity to speak to a woman - at the supermarket, on a bus, in line for tickets. Learn to start conversations. Don't be afraid to tell a woman that she is beautiful, or that her earings go well with her eyeglasses and her lipstick. Remember, women dress to make an impression - so tell her that you noticed her. My best line has always been, "Ma'am I don't usually say such things but I have to tell you I think you are beautiful" as I hold the door open for them. They'll usually smile back.

    P.S.,

    Turn off the computer and go for a long walk. Or take in a after hours class in tennis, dancing, cooking, painting, etc. Just get out of the house. Cancel the cable TV and carry a book with you outside to the park.
     
  7. Wolf

    Wolf No one plans to take the path that brings you lowe

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    See what social events are planned with your dorm. Do they have a movie night or something like that where you can go and just hang out with the other people in your dorm? :dunno:
     
  8. shankems2000

    shankems2000 If you read everybody's user text and location, yo

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    If everybody at work says that you are nice and enjoyable hanging around with, ask them what they are doing later on, maybe you can go chill at their house and talk, play a videogame, watch a movie, go out to a mall even if it's just to window shop.

    I'm not a partier either, but what you have to do is find people that share the same interests as you. Shit, you live ON CAMPUS, if you like to draw join an art club, want to learn to play the piano? Sign up for a class, where you'll learn something new and be able to meet a few people.

    I think it's your timidness that is keeping you from being happy. You're not alone, there are people out there whom you will be able to socialize with, you just have to find them!!

    Oh, if you don't think that your current major will make you enough money let me tell you it's not always how much you make but HOW you use it. Depending on where you live and how you manage your money, 40,000 can be alot of money. Also, if you want to change your major then you should get your GPA up ASAP. You're a freshman right??? Start now and don't look back. Finish school, even if you don't use your degree, being a college grad earns respect from people and you never know it may be useful.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2005
  9. kmartsbytch

    kmartsbytch New Member

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    Well, at least it's good to know that I'm not alone.

    As for others that I work with being the same way, I doubt it. Most of them seem to have b/f's or g/f's...and have activities that they're apart of outside of work.

    In fact, some of them are starting to catch on to the fact that I have no life, heh. I mean, how the hell could a fulltime college student find the time to work almost fulltime and have a life? :/ Today they were even joking about how I'm like our store manager...he has no family, no friends that anyone knows of, and his life basically revolves around the store. The sad part is...they're right.

    The brightside is that the couple that do realize it seem to want to help me fix it. Today they mentioned taking me out to do stuff. Dunno if I really like the way it's being done, mainly because I hate the whole sympathy thing, but oh well. Whatever works, because I can't go on feeling like this much longer. Hopefully they follow through I guess.

    As for the exercise part, I don't really do weights. I'm 140 lbs at the most, probably lucky to be 130 lb right now with the way I've been eating...and well self-esteem can be a bitch. I feel like a loser sitting there benching 70lbs when the guy next to me is doing 300lb. I don't really wanna be big anyway. But I do run and take walks when it's nice outside or I'm in the mood to go down to the gym. Occasionally shoot hoops too.

    I tried getting out of the house. I go for fairly long walks outside here on campus, go to the mall, etc...but I'm not the most social person when meeting new people. It seems weird to me going up to random people that I've never met before and just starting to talk to them. Once I get to know them, it isn't a problem, but it's hard for me at first meeting, which I know is the main reason I'm the way I am. They say first expressions mean everything.

    Yeah, I know what you're gonna say, grow some balls and talk to people anyway. I've heard it before. Easier said than done.

    Ugh, I dunno. :(
     
  10. EE CUMMINGS

    EE CUMMINGS aka RobHuang

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    Well if its any consolation i started college at 120pounds if that, thin as a twig, but i started hitting the gym and im at 150 now. I was benching the bar while the guy next to me was doing 2 plates. i didn't care. he had to start out like me too.

    try talking to the people you sit next to in class, maybe yall will share similiar interests, you never know


    Those people that invited you to go out with them, go out with them! instead of thinking they are doing this out of sympathy, think that they are doing this because they enjoy working with you at work and would like to hang out with you outside of work
     
  11. kmartsbytch

    kmartsbytch New Member

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    I was actually thinking about trying to ask people to do stuff after work just a little while ago. I dunno, it just always seemed odd to me, probably because no one else seems to do anything with anyone else outside of work unless they know each other in some other way(ie school, related).

    As for finding people with the same interests...I don't have a ton of interests. I'm a boring person. I love sports, music, and sports videogames. Sure, there's a ton of people who love that stuff, but most of them that I found, at least those on this floor, don't really mesh with me well. I haven't really met anyone outside of this floor, I'm not just gonna go to other floors and walk in random rooms and start a conversation. I dunno.

    You're right, it is my timidness keep me back. No one's more timid than me when first meeting a person. I hate it. I want to change it...but I just can't seem to do so. :(
     
  12. EE CUMMINGS

    EE CUMMINGS aka RobHuang

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    sports videogames! there you go. I know sports video games are popular around the school and in the dorms. ask your hallmates to a game of madden or nba live or whatever, usually that will lead to other things, like going to grab some food afterwards? stuff like that. its a start
     
  13. shankems2000

    shankems2000 If you read everybody's user text and location, yo

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    How does your liking of sports, music and sports videogames make you a boring person???

    You're selling yourself short man!! I can be kind of shy at times too, but if I want to get to know somebody I'm just like fuck it, you know? Throw caution to the wind and start talking. Usually works out fine. What's the worst that could happen if you just start talking to somebody in your class about the report that's due next week? Most people won't be so rude as to tell you to fuck off or insult you. If they don't want to conversate or hang out with you, you'll probably know it off the bat. So guess what....FUCK EM'!! Try again and keep trying until you make some friends.

    You can do it man, you just need to muster up the courage to do so,even if it takes 3 weeks for you to find that courage, it's within us all, you just have look for it!!

    Good Luck!!:bigthumb:
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    What he is saying all he likes is that stuff and it seems like everyone is a rock climber or is in a band. Does all this other active stuff and he does this inactive stuff.
     
  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I was severely depressed for many years,simply because my life was nowhere near where i both wanted and expected it. It took me a long while before I came to the realization that, to be happy and content, you have to accept that your life is your life, and live in the moment.

    If you're constantly looking at what you feel you should/want to have, then you will never be happy, never content. This is the reason why even rich people with beautiful wives and kids still kill themselves. Nothing can ever make you happy, only you can make yourself happy.

    That does not mean forget about your dreams and goals, rather, keep them in mind, and work towards them, but still be content with your life the way it is now.
     
  16. shankems2000

    shankems2000 If you read everybody's user text and location, yo

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    :werd: It's up to you. But on a side note, I can't see why RICH people are unhappy. How can you be unhappy with 20 mill in the bank? Give me that kind of money and I'll never have a bad day again!!lol
     
  17. *Ambiorix*

    *Ambiorix* New Member

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    I once Picked up a book called "Hardcore Zen" (Link) It was awesome. The dude basically states that everyone feels the way you do soemtimes. Movie stars, rich people, popular people, so many people are just not happy where they are. THis book really opened my eyes and let me accept myself. Where I used to be self concious and had anxiety in large crowds I now feel relaxed and a part of it all. The key is to realize we are all of the same substance and we all have our fears and doubts.

    Once you fully accept yourself there isnt much to be worried about. You will always have what you need to survive, someone will always care about you even if it seems there is no one. Believe in yourself. I once asked myself. "How can I expect other people, especially girls, to like me if I dont even like myself?" It was then I began a mission to focus on myself first. Hitting the gym has been great for me. Working out does wonders for you mentally and physically. There is no one at the gym taht wil laugh at you for lifting low weights. EVeryone has started out small, even the biggest dudes. In fact if you are doing something wrong most gym poeple love to give tips and help you out. If you find a gym buddy its even better. You both help each other out and motivate each other. You will eventually start to see gains and you will good about it. your self confidence will grow and people will notice.

    I would recomend lweight training over video games for the sheer fact that after 4 years of video gaming I had nothing to show for it other than wasted time and a weakass body. Not to mention minimal social interaction.

    You are only 18 though so you have pletny of time to make changes. If you just devoted about 3 days a week to working out in a year or two you could be jacked. WHY NOT? AS long as you dont become obssesed about your looks though....just make it a cool hobby. You could also join some campus area clubs or something.

    Just some ideas.

    :wiggle:
     

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