SRS i suck at keeping friends...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by babygodzilla, Aug 23, 2007.

  1. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2001
    Messages:
    3,106
    Likes Received:
    0
    i really suck at keeping friends. i can be the life of the party for one night, get to know a bunch of people, and people will forget me as soon as i leave. i can be hanging out with a group of people everyday for a month, and then suddenly i dont get invited to anything anymore. it's happened a couple of times. i also suck at keeping touch, and thus have a lot of falling out with friends. i try to chat online with old friends, as well as newER friends, and many times it doesn't go beyond "hi" and "how's the weather?" and some of them are people ive known for years and years.

    :wtc: what the fuck is wrong with me... i'm not anti-social. my social skills are OK and i can make friends. i do have friends, but i dont have anyone i regularly chat with, regularly call me up just to say whats up, no one IMs me unless its important, etc. friends come and go like the wind, literally. im really jealous of people that have these kind of relationships. seeing people with real close friends make me feel lonely and wanna /myself :run:
     
  2. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    734
    Likes Received:
    0
    Let me guess, people never start conversations with you. Your always the one who initiates things.

    I've been like that for the last 5 years or so. What I try and do is find ways to be happy being alone. I'll just do whatever makes me comfortable. From my experiences, you have to conform to a group of people before they see you as one of their own. After hanging out with people for a month, you most likely didn't conform to their way of life and they gave you the boot. Either that or you didn't find your role in the group. Every member of a group of people has a certain role they play in the group.

    People=shit for the most part anyway. The more individual and alone you are, the stronger of a person you become since you spend so much time on your own discovering yourself.
     
  3. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    46,072
    Likes Received:
    35
    Location:
    TX
    Do these friends share similar interests as you?
     
  4. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    46,072
    Likes Received:
    35
    Location:
    TX
    i prefer making friends with similar interests as me. Always something to talk about, always easier to relate, always something to do (your interest)...
     
  5. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2001
    Messages:
    3,106
    Likes Received:
    0
    some friends have similar interests, some dont. of course i cant surround myself with only those who share the same interests. that'll cut the number of people i talk to by like 80%. maybe its me. i dont really like sports, except for snowboarding, swimming, and hitting the gym, and i dont really like outdoor activities like hiking or any nature type shit like that. i like to read books and play guitar. reading isnt really a group activity, and i dunno many people that share the same musical interests as i do, much less play an instrument.

    or maybe im just not a likable guy :dunno:
     
  6. Terra Matris

    Terra Matris Guest

    there is an old Italian saying:

    "you will be lucky to only have one true friend in your life;"

    Like yourself first, then you will find others that truly enjoy your company, yet they may not be true friends either.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    daaamn thats maffia advice , not neccessarily bad but it feels like the Godfather just spoke to me.

    First lets put a friend limit. 5 people you really want to know well and maintain, and another 10 acquaintances , so 15 people in total. Of those 5 people you go alot around with 3 of them, and with the other 10 you just casually sms or mail about parties n such.

    Friends require maintanance = time. As with all relationships, out of eye is out of heart, so with your closest friends, you should just contact at least every 2 weeks. Consider it as an investment against lonelyness. I think that might be the best realistic approuch. With those far away friends, you should contact at least once every month. Lets say an A4 format of information to 3 of your closest friends(can be a copy), and only short messages to far away friends. Call them, hang out with them, don't let a relationship die out immediatly , give it 3 months time :if no response: then search another best friend.

    Thats how i would go about it.
     
  8. 2500

    2500 Guest

    every music style has millions of fans. what kind do you like?
     
  9. Fotenks

    Fotenks New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2004
    Messages:
    18,170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Las Vegas
    When you're being the "life of the party" you're actually just being the drunk idiot, and everyone thinks you're a joke.

    And you wonder why no one asks you to hang out, yet you mention that you don't keep in touch with people. Have you ever thought that the other people might be doing the same thing and doing a poor job of keeping in touch with you? You have to make the initiative to call these people, and arrange to go hang out, and keep the friendship.
     
  10. Ranna13Tattoo

    Ranna13Tattoo New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have one good friend I talk to a couple times a week, and hang out with a couple times a week. Other than that, I don't talk to anyone. I just find it hard to relate mentally to other people, and that their wants and needs are totally different than mine. So, I am more independant, and find happiness in myself. But, I've been like that my whole life, and it's not making me mentally unhappy. Being alone may differ from person to person. I do agree though that it does help one find themselves.
     
  11. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,444
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Prarie State/The Hoosier State
    all my friends except one are like that but before i called him i didnt have anybody either eventually u just learn to live with it i guess
     
  12. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2001
    Messages:
    3,106
    Likes Received:
    0
    :wtf: i never mentioned anything about getting drunk, altho i do it sometimes, but not all the time. but thanks, ill reflect on what you said.
     
  13. Guerilla Grower

    Guerilla Grower New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2006
    Messages:
    862
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thats true for most people, as the majority of the population are extroverts and need to socialize with others. But don't think that some people can't handle being alone more then others.

    I'd suggest what someone else said, perhaps seek a deeper connection with people or maybe look in different social settings then you have been as sometimes people at parties are just their to get drunk with other people and not looking to seek out friends.
     
  14. Guerilla Grower

    Guerilla Grower New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2006
    Messages:
    862
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am very much like you (just to let you know your not alone on this), as I have never been much of a social person. I have been this way since birth, I just don't feel the need to seek others and socialize. I'm prefectly content being by myself, I actually try to keep it that way as much as possible, I guess I'm just an extreme case of being an introvert.
     
  15. mg

    mg OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2005
    Messages:
    8,350
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North America
    :werd:
    i was going to post something along these lines.
     
  16. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2001
    Messages:
    3,106
    Likes Received:
    0
    well its not like i WANT to be alone. but for some reason people gradually gravitate away from me. granted it doesnt happen overnight, and i still make new friends, but i wish i was better at keeping the old friends...
     
  17. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    I've found that from time to time, I have problems moving from acquaintance to friend...other times, it's really easy. Not sure if this applies to you.

    Oh and you keep in touch by making the effort. I can't tell you how many times I hear this shit from ppl in AA.
    Baby: Waaaaa...noone calls me to do anything.
    Me: Ok...give me your number, I'll call.
    2 days to 1 week later, I call to meet up for coffee....nothing. Get the answering machine and no call back.

    People that bitch about not having friends are not reaching out. They are lazy...yes....you are lazy. I don't know you but if you don't have friends, you are lazy and not reaching out to them. Get off your lazy ass.
     

Share This Page